EXERCISE 9.1: HELP ONE ANOTHER TELL YOUR STORIES
Summary of the problem situation
Johnny the trainee playing the role of client, gives the following summary: “I’m going to
discuss a problem am having with my roommate. I have been living with him for one years,
all this while he has been good with the rules we set when we starting living together. Lately,
he has been irresponsible, breaking most of the rules such as leaving his clothes all over the
house, therefore being messy, arranging late night parties in the house with his friends,
forcing me to sleep at my other friend’s house and leaving dirty utensils in the sink. I like
keeping things in order and I have been doing it for him to avoid arguments. I am tired now
and I would like to stop him without creating friction between us but I don’t know how. ”
The helper begins by saying: “On that note Johnny, what would you like to focus on today?”
Johnny: “I would like to talk about dirty utensils in the sink”
Helper: “Okay, so what about them Johnny?”
Johnny: “We had agreed that, one should wash their utensils immediately to avoid piles of
dirt in the sink. Secondly, we agreed that in the case where one is not in a position to wash
immediately, then one would rinse the dirt out and leave the utensils in the sink. He does
neither of those, he just leaves them on the dining table, or wherever he eats, then me come
collecting and washing them”
Helper: “And, how does that make you feel Johnny?”
Johnny: “I feel like am being used and he is taking advantage of my kindness. I have been
stressed up lately and I feel like throwing at his face all the utensils, every time he leaves
them”
The observer who is a timekeeper, stops the dialogue after ten minutes.
Johnny the client tells the helper on how he helped him to tell the story. The use of questions
that helped to explain himself and expound on the issue were the main things that helped out.
I have learnt that, it is easy for helpers to loose clients if they are not good listeners. It
requires patients and self-control for a helper to be effective. To enable the clients to speak
more clearly and easily, the helpers were soft in their tones, they showed interest in helping
the clients and they used questions, so that the clients could expound on their stories.
Indeed, active listening and empathetic communication are crucial skills for helpers to have, as they
create a safe and supportive environment for clients to open up and share their stories.
As you noted, using a soft tone and showing genuine interest in helping the client can also go a long
way in building trust and rapport. By asking open-ended questions and giving the client space to
express themselves, helpers can encourage clients to dig deeper into their experiences and gain new
insights into their challenges.
Ultimately, the goal of any helper is to empower clients to find their own solutions and strengths,
and these communication skills are key to achieving that goal. It's great to see that Johnny had a
positive experience with his helper, and I hope that this learning can help others in similar situations
as well.
In addition to active listening and empathetic communication, it's also important for helpers to
remain non-judgmental and respectful of their clients' experiences and perspectives. Even if a helper
disagrees with a client's choices or beliefs, it's important to maintain a supportive and non-
confrontational approach in order to foster an atmosphere of trust and openness.
Another helpful technique that helpers can use is reflection. This involves summarizing what the
client has said and repeating it back to them in their own words, which can help to clarify their
thoughts and feelings and demonstrate that the helper is truly listening and understanding.
Finally, it's important for helpers to be aware of their own biases and limitations, and to seek out
ongoing training and support to improve their skills and effectiveness. By continually learning and
growing as helpers, we can better serve our clients and help them to achieve their goals and
aspirations.
It's also worth noting that different clients may have different communication styles and needs, and
effective helpers should be able to adapt their approach accordingly. For example, some clients may
prefer more structured sessions with clear goals and action plans, while others may benefit from
more open-ended and exploratory conversations.
In addition, cultural and linguistic differences may also play a role in communication, and helpers
should be sensitive to these factors and strive to create a culturally responsive and inclusive
environment.
Overall, effective communication is a cornerstone of effective helping, and requires a combination of
active listening, empathy, reflection, respect, and adaptability. By honing these skills and staying
attuned to the needs of their clients, helpers can make a meaningful difference in the lives of those
they serve.
EXERCISE 9.2: DETERMINE SEVERITY OF THE PROBLEM
Determining the severity of a problem requires careful assessment and consideration of various
factors. Some potential indicators of problem severity might include:
1. Frequency: How often does the problem occur? Is it a one-time incident or a recurring issue?
2. Intensity: How severe is the problem when it occurs? Is it mild, moderate, or severe in its
impact on the individual or others?
3. Duration: How long has the problem been going on? Is it a recent issue or a long-standing
problem that has persisted over time?
4. Scope: How many people are affected by the problem? Is it an individual issue or a more
widespread concern?
5. Impact: What is the overall impact of the problem on the individual's life, functioning, and
well-being? Is it causing significant distress, impairment, or interference with daily activities?
6. Risk: Is the problem potentially dangerous or harmful? Does it pose a risk to the individual or
others?
By considering these and other factors, helpers can gain a better understanding of the severity of the
problem and determine appropriate interventions and support for the individual. It's important to
approach this process with sensitivity and empathy, recognizing that every individual and situation is
unique and requires a personalized approach.
Once the severity of the problem has been assessed, helpers can then work with the individual to
identify appropriate interventions and supports. This may involve helping the individual to develop
coping skills and strategies, providing referrals to specialized services or resources, or working
collaboratively with other professionals to develop a comprehensive treatment plan.
It's important to note that problem severity can vary over time, and helpers should regularly check in
with the individual to assess changes in their needs and circumstances. Additionally, helpers should
always prioritize safety and take immediate action if they believe the individual or others are at risk
of harm.
Finally, it's worth emphasizing that problem severity should never be used to judge or stigmatize
individuals. Everyone experiences challenges and difficulties in life, and it's important to approach
each person with empathy, understanding, and a commitment to helping them achieve their goals
and aspirations.
Moreover, it's important to recognize that individuals may have different perceptions of the severity
of their problem, and that these perceptions may be influenced by cultural, social, and other factors.
Helpers should be sensitive to these differences and strive to create a safe and non-judgmental
environment that respects each individual's unique experiences and perspectives.
It's also important to keep in mind that problem severity can be a fluid and evolving concept. Some
problems may become more severe over time, while others may resolve with appropriate
interventions and support. Helpers should remain flexible and adaptable in their approach, regularly
assessing the individual's progress and adjusting interventions as needed.
Finally, it's worth noting that problem severity is just one aspect of a larger picture of an individual's
well-being and functioning. Helpers should also consider the individual's strengths, resources, and
supports, and work collaboratively with the individual to promote their overall health and resilience.
By taking a holistic and person-centered approach, helpers can help individuals overcome challenges
and achieve their goals.
In order to take a holistic and person-centered approach, helpers should consider not only the
individual's current problem or concern, but also their broader context and life experiences. This
may involve exploring the individual's relationships, social and cultural background, work or school
environment, physical health, and other factors that may impact their well-being and functioning.
By gaining a deeper understanding of the individual's context and experiences, helpers can tailor
their interventions and support to the individual's unique needs and circumstances. This may involve
working collaboratively with the individual to identify and build upon their strengths, develop coping
skills and strategies, and connect with appropriate resources and supports.
It's also important to recognize that individuals may have different preferences and needs in terms
of the type and level of support they receive. Some individuals may prefer a more directive
approach, with specific recommendations and guidance from the helper, while others may prefer a
more collaborative and exploratory approach, with the helper serving as a facilitator and sounding
board.
Ultimately, the goal of effective helping is to empower individuals to take control of their own lives
and overcome challenges, rather than relying on external sources of support. By fostering a sense of
agency and self-efficacy, helpers can help individuals develop the skills and resources they need to
thrive and achieve their goals.
To further support individuals in developing skills and resources, helpers can also focus on building a
positive and supportive therapeutic relationship. This can involve establishing trust, respect, and
empathy, and creating a safe and non-judgmental environment where individuals feel comfortable
sharing their experiences and concerns.
In addition, helpers can work with individuals to identify and build upon their existing supports, such
as friends, family, and community resources. This can involve connecting individuals with
appropriate services and resources, or helping them to develop new social connections and
networks.
Another important aspect of effective helping is ongoing evaluation and monitoring of progress.
Helpers should regularly check in with the individual to assess their goals and progress, and adjust
interventions and support as needed. This may involve using standardized measures to track
changes in symptoms or functioning, or simply engaging in regular conversations to explore the
individual's experiences and perspectives.
Overall, effective helping involves a collaborative and person-centered approach that recognizes the
unique strengths, needs, and context of each individual. By working with individuals to develop
coping skills and strategies, connect with appropriate resources and supports, and build a positive
and supportive therapeutic relationship, helpers can help individuals overcome challenges and
achieve their goals.
In addition to the individual level, effective helping may also involve addressing larger systemic
issues that impact the individual's well-being and functioning. This may involve advocating for policy
and system changes that promote greater access to resources and support, or addressing societal
factors such as discrimination and stigma that may contribute to the individual's challenges.
To effectively advocate for system-level change, helpers may need to work collaboratively with other
professionals, community organizations, and policymakers. This may involve engaging in policy
development and implementation, community organizing and outreach, or public education and
awareness-raising.
Overall, effective helping is a complex and multifaceted process that requires ongoing learning,
reflection, and collaboration. By adopting a person-centered and collaborative approach, and
recognizing the unique strengths, needs, and context of each individual, helpers can play an
important role in promoting the well-being and resilience of individuals and communities.
It's worth noting that effective helping can take many different forms, depending on the individual's
needs and circumstances. For example, helpers may work one-on-one with individuals in a clinical or
counseling setting, or they may provide support and guidance in a community or educational setting.
In addition, helpers may come from a wide range of professional backgrounds, including social work,
counseling, psychology, nursing, and other fields. Regardless of their specific background, effective
helpers share a commitment to promoting the well-being and empowerment of individuals and
communities.
It's also important to recognize that effective helping is an ongoing process that may require ongoing
support and intervention. For example, individuals may require periodic check-ins or follow-up
support to maintain their progress and prevent relapse. Helpers can play an important role in
providing this ongoing support, while also empowering individuals to take ownership of their own
well-being and functioning.
In conclusion, effective helping is a complex and multifaceted process that requires ongoing learning,
reflection, and collaboration. By adopting a person-centered and collaborative approach, recognizing
the unique strengths, needs, and context of each individual, and promoting systemic change and
advocacy, helpers can play an important role in promoting the well-being and resilience of
individuals and communities.
f) Observers feedback: “I think the exercise has enabled the client to discover how much
damage the problem has created in his life and it has broadened his thinking, so that he is
willing to find solutions that will be positive to himself.”
g) Client: “It is important so that the helper, can establish a way to help out a client
depending on the level of the problem.”
Helper: “It is important because it enables the client to self-discover the damage the problem
has impacted in their lives, so that they can be willing to find help.”
Observer: “It I important because, severity of the problem will help to choose the right tasks
to resolve them, without facing damaging consequences.”
The approach to assessments should be able to make the client feel free to express oneself,
feel safe enough to tell on their story and it should create an atmosphere of self-acceptance.
9.3: REVIEW KEY ISUES IN YOUR PAST
Some common key issues that people may face in their pasts include:
Trauma: Many individuals have experienced traumatic events in their past, such as abuse,
neglect, violence, or accidents. These experiences can have a profound impact on a person's
mental and physical health, and may require professional support and intervention.
Family and relationship issues: Family and relationship issues, such as conflict, divorce, or
loss, can be particularly challenging for individuals to navigate, especially if they occurred
during childhood. These experiences can impact an individual's sense of self-worth, trust in
others, and ability to form healthy relationships.
Mental health challenges: Many individuals struggle with mental health challenges, such as
anxiety, depression, or substance use, which can impact their daily functioning,
relationships, and overall quality of life. It's important for individuals to seek appropriate
support and treatment for these challenges, which may include therapy, medication, or
other interventions.
Cultural and societal factors: Individuals may also face challenges related to their cultural or
societal context, such as discrimination, prejudice, or marginalization. These experiences can
impact an individual's sense of identity and belonging, and may require advocacy and
systemic change to address.
Life transitions and stressors: Life transitions and stressors, such as moving, changing jobs, or
experiencing financial difficulties, can also be challenging for individuals to navigate. These
experiences can impact an individual's sense of stability and security, and may require
support and resources to manage.
Overall, it's important for individuals to recognize that they are not alone in facing these
challenges, and that there is support and resources available to help them overcome them.
By seeking appropriate support and treatment, and developing coping skills and strategies,
individuals can build resilience and thrive in the face of adversity.
Educational and career challenges: Educational and career challenges can be a significant
source of stress for individuals, particularly if they are unsure of their goals or struggle to
find fulfilling work. These challenges may require career counseling, skill-building, or
networking to overcome.
Physical health challenges: Physical health challenges, such as chronic illness or disability,
can also impact an individual's well-being and functioning. These experiences may require
ongoing medical care and support, as well as accommodations to facilitate participation in
daily activities.
Substance use and addiction: Substance use and addiction can be a significant challenge for
individuals, impacting their physical and mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.
It's important for individuals to seek appropriate support and treatment to manage these
challenges, which may include therapy, medication, or other interventions.
Financial struggles: Financial struggles, such as debt or poverty, can impact an individual's
ability to meet their basic needs and maintain their quality of life. These challenges may
require support and resources to manage, such as financial counseling, access to affordable
housing, or job training.
Loss and grief: Loss and grief are a natural part of the human experience, but can be
particularly challenging for individuals to navigate, especially if they experience multiple
losses or struggle to cope with their emotions. It's important for individuals to seek support
and resources to manage these challenges, which may include therapy, support groups, or
self-care practices.
By recognizing these key issues and seeking appropriate support and resources,
individuals can overcome the challenges in their past and build resilience for the
future. It's important for helpers to approach each individual's experiences with
empathy, understanding, and a willingness to collaborate in the journey towards
healing and growth.
11. Self-esteem and confidence: Low self-esteem and confidence can be a significant
challenge for individuals, impacting their ability to assert themselves, take risks, and
pursue their goals. These challenges may require therapy, self-help strategies, or
support from loved ones to build self-esteem and confidence.
12. Communication difficulties: Communication difficulties, such as social anxiety,
stuttering, or language barriers, can impact an individual's ability to connect with
others and express themselves. These challenges may require therapy, speech
therapy, or language classes to improve communication skills.
13. Identity and self-discovery: Many individuals struggle with issues related to identity
and self-discovery, such as questions related to sexuality, gender identity, or cultural
identity. These challenges may require therapy, support groups, or self-reflection to
navigate.
14. Spirituality and meaning-making: Spirituality and meaning-making are important
aspects of many individuals' lives, but can be challenging to navigate, especially
during times of crisis or transition. These challenges may require support from
religious or spiritual communities, therapy, or self-reflection to find meaning and
purpose.
15. Personal growth and development: Personal growth and development are ongoing
processes that require self-reflection, self-awareness, and a commitment to learning
and change. These challenges may require therapy, self-help strategies, or support
from loved ones to foster personal growth and development.
Overall, individuals face a wide range of challenges and issues in their pasts that can
impact their well-being, relationships, and quality of life. By recognizing these
challenges and seeking appropriate support and resources, individuals can overcome
these obstacles and build resilience for the future.
b. In my culture, a man moving in with his girlfriend before marriage is considered disrespect
your parents and those of the lady. It is also against religion because it is considered as
impure. As I review my family history, my elder brothers and sisters all had to introduce their
spouses, do engagement then get married before living together. Even as my generation
resolves into, living together before getting married, I am still held back by this culture. I am
unable to agree to living with her because it will amount to disrespect and disobedience of my
religion. Even when she suggests so, I am still hesitant and cannot bring myself to doing it.
Managing it is not an easy task because it is still a culture in my family, therefore, I will need
to educate them first and allow them to accept it before I can commit to doing it. I think, they
should know that after engagement, it is okay to live together a fiancé.
EXERCISE 9.4: HELP CLIENTS TALK PRODUCTIVELY ABOUT THE PAST
As a helper, there are several ways you can support clients in talking productively about their past
experiences:
Create a safe and supportive environment: It's important for clients to feel safe and supported when
discussing their past experiences. Create a welcoming and non-judgmental space for clients to share
their thoughts and feelings.
Encourage open and honest communication: Encourage clients to speak openly and honestly about
their experiences, thoughts, and emotions. Use active listening techniques to show that you are
present and engaged in the conversation.
Focus on the present: While discussing past experiences, it's important to focus on how those
experiences are impacting the client in the present. Help clients identify patterns in their behavior or
emotions that may be related to past experiences.
Use reflective questioning: Use reflective questioning to help clients explore their thoughts and
feelings about past experiences. Reflective questioning involves repeating back what the client has
said in a non-judgmental way and asking open-ended questions to encourage deeper exploration.
Encourage self-compassion: Encourage clients to practice self-compassion when discussing past
experiences. Help them recognize that it's normal to have difficult experiences and emotions, and
that self-compassion can help them cope with those experiences.
Identify strengths and resources: Help clients identify strengths and resources that they can draw on
to cope with past experiences. This may include personal strengths, social support, or other
resources in their community.
By using these strategies, you can help clients talk productively about their past experiences and
support them in building resilience and healing from those experiences.
Validate their experiences: It's important to validate the client's experiences and acknowledge the
impact that their past experiences have had on them. Validating their experiences helps clients feel
heard and understood, which can increase their trust in the therapeutic relationship.
Use trauma-informed care: If a client has experienced trauma in their past, it's important to use
trauma-informed care when discussing those experiences. This includes creating a safe environment,
respecting their boundaries and choices, and being mindful of triggers and potential
retraumatization.
Avoid blaming or shaming: When discussing past experiences, it's important to avoid blaming or
shaming the client for their experiences or the way they have coped with those experiences. Instead,
focus on empowering the client and helping them develop healthy coping strategies.
Set goals for the future: While it's important to process past experiences, it's also important to focus
on the future and set goals for growth and healing. Help clients identify realistic goals that are
meaningful and motivating to them.
By using these strategies, you can help clients talk productively about their past experiences and
support them in building resilience and healing from those experiences. Remember that each client
is unique and may require different approaches and techniques, so it's important to tailor your
approach to their individual needs and preferences.
Help clients reframe their experiences: Clients may have negative beliefs or emotions associated
with their past experiences. Help them reframe those experiences in a more positive light by
focusing on strengths and resilience that they have demonstrated in coping with those experiences.
Use cognitive-behavioral techniques: Cognitive-behavioral techniques can be helpful in helping
clients change negative thought patterns or behaviors associated with their past experiences. These
techniques can include cognitive restructuring, behavior activation, and exposure therapy.
Validate cultural or societal influences: Some clients may have experienced discrimination or trauma
as a result of their cultural or societal background. Validate their experiences and help them
navigate these challenges in a way that honors their cultural or societal identity.
Use expressive therapies: Expressive therapies such as art therapy, music therapy, or dance therapy
can be helpful in allowing clients to process past experiences in a nonverbal way. These therapies
can also be helpful for clients who may have difficulty verbalizing their thoughts and feelings.
Emphasize self-care: Encourage clients to engage in self-care activities that promote physical and
emotional wellbeing. This can include exercise, healthy eating, mindfulness practices, or other
activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction.
By using these strategies, you can help clients talk productively about their past experiences and
support them in building resilience and healing from those experiences. Remember to always
prioritize the client's safety, comfort, and individual needs when working with them.
d) If I were the counsellor in Kirk’s case, I would try to help him to discover that it is good enough
that he is able to identify the mistake in his past, so that means, he will be able to correct himself in
the present relationship. Secondly, I would guide him to identify the effective solutions to the
situation, so that it cannot be repeated again. Lastly, I will help him to move out of his past and
concentrate in the present through accessing the severity of the problem.
My approach to Kirk would be soft and encouraging. I would use ways that enable him to stop
sympathising himself for being stupid in the past, and concentrate on building his present
relationship with correcting the past mistakes.
To help him link the past to the present, I would help him find ways of establishing whether his
current girlfriends likes being close or distant from the family. After knowing this, then it will be easy
to correct the past because if she wants to be close and they are different, I would help Kirk find the
few similarities and engage in them together.
EXERCISE 9.5: HELP CLIENTS CLARIFY KEY ISSUES
Helping clients clarify key issues is an important part of the therapeutic process, as it can help them
gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Here are some strategies to
help clients clarify key issues:
1. Active listening: Active listening involves giving the client your full attention and being
present in the moment. This means listening without judgment or interruption, and focusing
on the client's words and body language.
2. Reflection: Reflection involves paraphrasing or summarizing what the client has said in your
own words. This helps to clarify the client's thoughts and feelings and shows that you are
actively listening and trying to understand them.
3. Open-ended questions: Open-ended questions are questions that cannot be answered with
a simple yes or no. These questions can help clients explore their thoughts and feelings in
more depth and can encourage them to clarify key issues.
4. Mind mapping: Mind mapping is a visual tool that can help clients organize their thoughts
and clarify key issues. It involves creating a diagram or map of the client's thoughts and
feelings, which can help them see connections and patterns.
5. Journaling: Encourage clients to keep a journal to track their thoughts and feelings. This can
help them clarify key issues and gain insight into their emotions and behaviors.
6. Empathy: Empathy involves understanding and sharing the client's feelings. By
demonstrating empathy, you can help clients feel heard and understood, which can
encourage them to clarify key issues.
By using these strategies, you can help clients clarify key issues and gain insight into their thoughts,
emotions, and behaviors. Remember to always prioritize the client's safety, comfort, and individual
needs when working with them.
Identify patterns: Help clients identify patterns in their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that may
be contributing to their issues. This can involve exploring past experiences or situations that may
have influenced these patterns.
Use metaphors: Metaphors can be a powerful tool for helping clients clarify key issues. They can
help clients understand complex ideas or emotions in a more concrete way, and can provide a
framework for exploring these issues in more depth.
Reframe negative thoughts: Negative thoughts can contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression, and
other mental health issues. Help clients reframe negative thoughts in a more positive or realistic
light. For example, instead of thinking "I'm a failure," help the client reframe this thought as "I may
have made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a failure."
Encourage self-reflection: Encourage clients to engage in self-reflection to gain insight into their
thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This can involve exploring past experiences, identifying patterns,
or reflecting on their values and goals.By using these strategies, you can help clients clarify key
issues and gain insight into their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Remember that every client is
unique, and may respond differently to different strategies. It's important to be flexible and
adaptable in your approach, and to prioritize the client's safety, comfort, and individual needs when
working with them.
Use visualization: Visualization techniques can help clients clarify key issues by encouraging them to
imagine scenarios and situations in a more concrete way. For example, you may ask the client to
visualize a particular situation that is causing them stress or anxiety, and to explore how they would
respond to that situation in a more positive or constructive way.
Use cognitive-behavioral techniques: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based
therapy that can help clients clarify key issues by identifying and challenging negative thought
patterns. CBT techniques can include identifying and reframing negative thoughts, setting goals, and
developing coping strategies.
Explore emotions: Emotions are a key part of the therapeutic process, and can help clients clarify key
issues by identifying and exploring underlying feelings. Help clients identify and label their emotions,
and explore how these emotions may be contributing to their issues.
Use mindfulness techniques: Mindfulness techniques can help clients clarify key issues by
encouraging them to be present in the moment and observe their thoughts and feelings without
judgment. Mindfulness techniques can include breathing exercises, body scans, and meditation.
Collaborate with the client: Collaboration is key to helping clients clarify key issues. Work with the
client to identify their goals and priorities, and develop a treatment plan that is tailored to their
individual needs and preferences.
By using these strategies, you can help clients clarify key issues and gain insight into their thoughts,
emotions, and behaviors. Remember that therapy is a collaborative process, and that every client is
unique. It's important to be flexible and adaptable in your approach, and to prioritize the client's
safety, comfort, and individual needs when working with them.
1. The discussion will be about improving grades in class in order to achieve an overall good
grade in the end.
2. Manage time well, attend classes and revise well
EXERCISE 9.6: DISCOVER AND EXPLOIT YOUR UNUSED STRENGTHS AND
RESOURCES
Discovering and exploiting unused strengths and resources can be an important aspect of therapy, as
it can help clients build resilience and develop coping strategies to deal with life's challenges. Here
are some strategies that can be used to help clients discover and exploit their unused strengths and
resources:
1. Conduct a strengths assessment: A strengths assessment can help clients identify their
existing strengths and resources, as well as areas where they may need to develop new
skills. This can involve asking the client to identify their strengths and resources, as well as
conducting a formal assessment using a tool such as the StrengthsFinder assessment.
2. Encourage exploration: Encourage clients to explore new activities and experiences that can
help them discover and develop new strengths and resources. This can involve trying new
hobbies, volunteering in the community, or pursuing educational or career goals.
3. Use positive affirmations: Positive affirmations can help clients recognize their existing
strengths and resources, as well as develop new ones. Encourage clients to use positive
affirmations such as "I am strong," "I am capable," and "I am resilient" to reinforce positive
beliefs and attitudes.
4. Identify role models: Role models can provide inspiration and motivation for clients as they
work to develop new strengths and resources. Encourage clients to identify role models who
have overcome similar challenges, and to learn from their experiences.
5. Develop a support network: A strong support network can help clients build resilience and
develop new strengths and resources. Encourage clients to connect with friends, family, and
other supportive individuals who can provide encouragement and support.
6. Use cognitive-behavioral techniques: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques can be
used to help clients identify and challenge negative beliefs and attitudes that may be limiting
their ability to discover and exploit their unused strengths and resources.
By using these strategies, you can help clients discover and exploit their unused strengths and
resources, and develop resilience and coping strategies to deal with life's challenges. Remember that
therapy is a collaborative process, and that every client is unique. It's important to be flexible and
adaptable in your approach, and to prioritize the client's safety, comfort, and individual needs when
working with them.
Challenge negative self-talk: Negative self-talk can hold clients back from discovering and exploiting
their unused strengths and resources. Encourage clients to challenge negative self-talk and replace it
with positive and affirming thoughts.
Use mindfulness techniques: Mindfulness techniques can help clients develop self-awareness and
identify their existing strengths and resources. Encourage clients to practice mindfulness exercises
such as meditation, deep breathing, and visualization to help them become more attuned to their
thoughts and emotions.
Address underlying issues: In some cases, clients may have underlying issues such as depression,
anxiety, or trauma that may be limiting their ability to discover and exploit their unused strengths
and resources. It's important to address these underlying issues through therapy or other
appropriate interventions before focusing on developing new strengths and resources.
Celebrate successes: Celebrating successes, no matter how small, can help clients build confidence
and self-esteem. Encourage clients to celebrate their progress and successes, and to focus on the
positive changes they have made in their lives.
By using these strategies, you can help clients discover and exploit their unused strengths and
resources, and develop resilience and coping strategies to deal with life's challenges. Remember that
therapy is a collaborative process, and that every client is unique. It's important to be flexible and
adaptable in your approach, and to prioritize the client's safety, comfort, and individual needs when
working with them.
Use a strengths-based approach: A strengths-based approach involves focusing on a client's existing
strengths and resources, rather than their weaknesses or limitations. Encourage clients to identify
their strengths and explore how they can use these strengths to overcome challenges and achieve
their goals.
Use positive psychology interventions: Positive psychology interventions, such as gratitude exercises
and positive journaling, can help clients develop a positive outlook and focus on their strengths and
resources.
Explore values and meaning: Helping clients explore their values and what gives their life meaning
can help them identify their strengths and resources. Encourage clients to reflect on their values and
to explore activities and experiences that align with those values.
Foster a growth mindset: A growth mindset involves the belief that skills and abilities can be
developed through hard work and dedication. Encourage clients to develop a growth mindset and to
focus on developing new skills and abilities.
Collaborate with other professionals: Depending on the client's needs, it may be helpful to
collaborate with other professionals, such as career counselors or educational specialists, to help
clients identify and exploit their unused strengths and resources.
Overall, helping clients discover and exploit their unused strengths and resources is an important
aspect of therapy. By using a variety of strategies and approaches, therapists can help clients build
resilience, develop coping strategies, and achieve their goals. Remember to always prioritize the
client's safety, comfort, and individual needs when working with them, and to be flexible and
adaptable in your approach.
Problem situation
I would like to acquire my own source of income by either farming or beginning a business. I require
capital to rent a room for the business or to acquire a one year lease for a farm. I have been trying to
save the little money I receive for upkeep and the payment from tutoring my neighbour’s kids and
some friends. The money is still far from being enough for me to achieve my goal before May this
year.
Unused resources.
My parents and my elder siblings.
They might have been willing to help me with the rent and advise me on what business would be
best or which farming activity will be best.
EXERCISE 9.7: HELP CLIENT DISCOVER AND EXPLOIT UNUSED STRENGTHS
AND RESOURCES
1. a) Nature of the problem situation
Recently, my friend Jean, started dozing off and submitting his assignments late. The
problem is, he just started dating and it is taking up most of his time because he goes out till
late after midnight, sometimes he comes to his house the next morning to shower then run to
school and he is afraid of saying no to the lady requests, because he thinks he might be
ditched for doing so.
b) Unused strengths and relevant resources
Jean has the capacity of refusing the late night outings and making plans for weekend only.
He has the capacity to tell the girl that, the relationship should be able to build each one of
them into better people. He could use his friends or the friends to the lady, to let her know the
extent of the harm that the problem is creating in his life.
2. a) Nature of problem situation
My mother recently got a promotion to senior position in her department. The problem is, she
has become busy with meetings and attending other company programmes that she does not
help the junior develop themselves as she used to before. Most of her juniors that she
mentored are feeling neglected and unimportant anymore.
B) Unused opportunity
In a senior position, she now has a rare opportunity of the power to delegate duties to the
juniors. She can send people to other meetings that do not necessarily require her presence,
and remain in the company helping as she used to. Through this, she could be able to
simultaneously mentor the juniors while accomplishing her duties too.
3) Helping these people tap into unused strengths and resources.
As for Jean, I will help him by asking him about his current experience in class. What he
thinks about it and how he has tried to manage him. Through this, I believe he will be able to
discover that he has been wasting his own time and he will therefore look for a way to resolve
his problems without being hut or hurting his girlfriend.
For my mother, I will help her to discover that she has been away many times and has not had
time to catch up with her friends. I think this will help her to notice that she has neglected her
role of mentorship, then we will look for ways to accomplish both.
EXERCISE 9.8: LINK STORYTELLING TO ACTION
Case 1.
Action: The woman might decide to confront the husband to discuss how this is affecting
their marriage
Reason: To establish another way of resolving their misunderstandings and to let the husband
know that she is hurt by what he is doing.
Action: Report the husband to his parents and her parents
Reason: To let the parents speak to him and let him know that beating a woman is wrong.
Secondly is for the his father to give him advise on how to deal with women.
Case 2.
Action: Tell his family that he has been stealing from the company
Reason: To find family forgiveness and establish a new relationship. To find pity and support
during his probation.
Action: Return most of the funds he has been stealing
Reason: To restore his job back and find pardon from any corporate punishment.
Case 3.
Action: be rebellious
Reason: to catch parents’ attention in the hope of making them listen to her.
Action: Report the parents to their friends
Reason: to help them discover the harm they are causing the girl and look for better ways to
resolve their issues.
Case 4.
Action: Review notes on management
Reason: To help him improve his learnt skills and put them to action. To help him determine
the best methods of approaching managerial problems.
Action: The young man and the senior partner might decide to establish ways that will help
him improve his work each day.
Reason: To use this teachable moment to bond. The senior partner might use this chance to
pass on some success points to the young man.
EXERCISE 9.9: HELP CLIENTSS OWN THEIR PROBLEMS AND UNUSED
OPPORTUNITIES
Lack of capital to begin a business
I fail to fully own the problem by telling myself that I am young and still have plenty of time
to make savings. Secondly, I use my studies as an escape from actually finding solutions to
my problem.
I need to start working on increasing my savings and maybe tell my mother about my plan,
because I know she can help me out.
9.10: INVITE CLIENTS TO STATE PROBLEMS AS SOLVABLE
A) Monica, I think I know how the current generation is filled with children rights, but it is
not helping parents to bring up their children at all. I think it is okay for you to feel this way
but you should find other ways to establish a better relationship with Krystal.
B) When did this you begin noticing these behaviours? Which are these behaviours she
engages in?
EXERCISE 9.11: RESPOND TO SITUATIONS CALLING FOR IMMEDIACY
A) The counsellor is not strong enough in his words to show that he means it. I would be
more firm and uncompromising for the client.
Situation 1. Immediacy response
I have noticed that you have been passing me sexual gestures, which is wrong. I told you that
our relationship is professional. If you do not stop, then I have no choice but to quit being
your doctor and give you another helper.
Situation 2. Immediacy response
I have noticed that you are trying to go against our earlier agreement on payments. I have
tried to ignore you severally but I think we should address this issue. We have been good all
this while, we are almost done with the sessions because, we have seen improvement in your
problem but you are trying to quit because of money? It is not good to go against a promise
and it means, you are going to develop another problem, yet we were working on resolving
the other one.
Situation 3. Immediacy response
I have come to notice that you do not require my help. I think I should transfer you to another
helper because you are disrespectful and rude. I am only trying to help you own to your
problem so that we can a solution together, but it seems you do not think am the right helper
for you. I am sorry, but if you continue being late and disrespectful, I might just discontinue
our sessions.
EXERCISE 9.12: USE IMMEDIACY WITH THE MEMBERS OF YOUR TRAINING
GROUP
Self-disclosure
I notice little interaction, as if there is some kind of conspiracy of non-interaction between us.
Challenge
Without any apology, I do not want to alienate you, I refrain from giving you negative
feedback.
Invitation
I would like to hear your side of your story.
