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Relationship Building in Life Coaching
Tacondra Brown
LIFC 202
August 12, 2013
Liberty University
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Abstract
The coach-client relationship is the heart of all life coaching processes. Whether it involves
executive coaching, leadership, marriage or financial coaching without a client to serve, a coach
cannot fulfill his or her purpose. Hence, knowing how to effectively build relationships with
people is fundamental to being a successful life coach. This research paper will explore the
dynamics of the coaching relationship as it relates to factors, such as commonalities and
compatibilities, which influence the development and maintenance of effective relationships, as
well as components that are critical to the client-coach relationship. We will also examine the
influence of building relationships on coaching outcomes, which is more important than any
other skill during the life coaching process.
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Relationship Building in Life Coaching
Building relationships and putting people first is the core of life coaching. Without
knowing how to effectively build relationships with clients a life coach cannot develop his or her
ability or business. The ability to form and create relationships is a requirement of a coach rather
than a wanted skill (Backinsell & Garner, 2008). There are several key dynamics to building a
successful coaching relationship. In this research paper we will examine the effect of
relationship building on coaching and the influencing factors that assist in establishing and
maintaining client-coach relationships (Boyce, Jackson, and Neal, 2010). The two components
used to provide an outline for examining the impact of the coaching relationship include the
client-coach match characteristics, and key elements associated with developing the client-coach
relationship. There are three main characteristics considered when matching coaches and clients.
According to Boyce, Jackson and Neal (2010) they are “commonality in personal characteristics
or experiences, compatibility in behavioral preferences, and credibility with coaching abilities in
meeting client needs (p. 915). Key factors measured as it relates to their impact on coaching
outcomes include: rapport, trust, commitment and collaboration (Boyce, et al, 2010, p. 915).
Client-Coach Matching Characteristics
All coaching relationships begin and develop slowly, just like a stranger slowly becomes
a friend with time and effort. But not all relationships are a perfect match. Studies show that a
good fit between a coach and a client are essential to the growth of a valuable coaching
relationship (Boyce et al, 2010). Strong emphasis has been given to matching input. Boyce,
Jackson and Neal (2010) describe matching “as the attempt to identify a coach tailored to meet
the needs of a client and occurs in organizations using a list or “pool” of acceptable coaches pre-
selected based on certain criteria, such as competence factors, referrals, or previous work with
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the organization” (p. 915). When matching coaches with clients possible factors to consider
include commonality, compatibility, and credibility (Boyce et al, 2010). “Commonality refers to
the client and coach sharing common characteristics or experiences” (Boyce et al, 2010). These
characteristics or experiences can be similar in the areas of demographics, professional
background, and personal interests. Demographic characteristics refer to a client and coach’s
race or ethnicity, age, and sex. Professional background refers to similarities in occupations,
skills, training, and education (Boyce et al, 2010). Personal interests include hobbies,
affiliations, activities, religious and sexual orientation (Boyce et al, 2010). Researchers insist
that coaches are not able to understand the “social and psychological conflicts of the client” if
they have different backgrounds, therefore, making it difficult to obtain confidence and
cooperation from the client throughout the coaching process (Boyce et al, 2010, p. 916).
Supposedly, if commonality between a coach and client are high, then rapport and trust will
develop easily and more rapidly (Boyce et al, 2010). Boyce et al (2010) states, “the similarity-
attraction hypothesis maintains that similarity is a major source of attraction between individuals
and that a variety of physical, social, and status traits can be used as the basis for inferring
similarity in attitudes and beliefs” (p. 916). “Compatibility refers to the appropriate combination
of client and coach behavior preferences or the characteristics the client and coach possess that
influence their cognitions and behaviors in various situations” (Boyce et al, 2010, p. 916). It is
believed that coaches who are matched with clients based on their styles of behavior and similar
personalities are more likely to have a healthier relationship (Boyce et al, 2010). Then again, if a
mismatched coaching relationship continues to exist the coach may be able to challenge the
client’s perspectives, which can result in higher performance outcomes (Boyce et al, 2010).
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Credibility is another important factor when matching coaches and clients. Boyce,
Jackson and Neal (2010) state that, “credibility refers to a coach possessing the necessary
credentials to meet client needs and include coaching competence and experience” (p. 917). Not
only does credibility involve the coach’s competence and experience, but their ability to hold
true to their word. Clients’ expect coaches’ to follow through on their word. With time, this
ultimately forms the client’s perspective on how trustworthy and professional the coach is.
Studies have provided support that the lack of qualified reliability negatively impacts the client’s
cooperation and their level of pleasure (Boyce et al, 2010). Competence is a vital consideration
as it relates to credibility. A coach must be confident and aware of his or her own strengths and
limitations, and know how to operate within those boundaries to avoid low credibility (Bluckert,
2005). Competence also has a responsibility in establishing client trust.
Key Factors related to the Client-Coach Relationship
Establishing and sustaining trust is one of the key elements related to the success of a
client-coach relationship. In the world of coaching trust “refers to the mutual confidence that
supports the client’s willingness to be open, honest, and vulnerable, and allows the coach to be
supportive, non-judgmental, and challenging (Boyce et al, 2010, p. 918). Not only is it important
for a client to trust in a coach’s competence, but they must also establish trust in the person
(Bluckert, 2005). Reciprocated trust in the coaching relationship creates a secure atmosphere for
the client that promotes personal development, whereas a lack of trust lowers the level of
satisfaction and the possibilities of positive outcomes (Boyce et al, 2010). Menefee (2011)
reveals seven ways to establish client trust. They include: Setting realistic expectations, listening
and learning what is important, creating an understanding of risk, being straightforward about
fees, implementing a client communication plan, thinking beyond the portfolio when interacting
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with clients, and building and developing skills. After achieving trust in the client-coach
relationship it does not stop there. As maintained by Backinsell and Garner (2008), “in a
productive relationship the cycle is completed and new challenges and results are identified for
the relationship, and the process begins again” (p. 4). “Menefee (2011) states, “trust is
paramount to bringing on new clients and creating the level of adviser-client relationships that
lead to referrals” (p. 12).
Developing rapport is vastly fundamental to the client-coach relationship. Coaches need
their clients to trust them and to feel as if they are being understood by the coach. For this
reason, creating an extremely high level of rapport is significant. Rapport is also a significant
way to trim down the dissimilarities between the coach and client and is more about focusing on
similarities (Boyce et al, 2010). Having the ability to form a strong connection with a client is an
essential quality a coach must have. But a coach cannot accomplish this type of social construct
on his or her own. The coach and the client are both responsible for creating rapport and the
stronger it is the higher the levels of satisfaction are within the coaching relationship (Boyce et
al, 2010). “Rapport includes the mutual understanding, agreement, and liking between the client
and coach that allows each to appreciate, recognize, and respect one another as individuals
(Boyce et al, 2010, p. 917). Rapport is not a technique; rather it is a way of being with a client
(Rogers, 2008). Real rapport between a coach and client requires authentic listening, matching
each other’s body, voice, volume, pace, and energy (Rogers, 2008). Rogers (2008) states, “real
rapport comes from unconditional acceptance of the client” (p. 46). Which implies the coach
wanting to know what is like to be in the world of the client (Rogers, 2008). On the other hand,
coaches must be careful to maintain an appropriate balance of rapport with the client. Studies
suggest that rapport behaviors are linked to clients revealing more about themselves, being more
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compliant, satisfied, and able to retain; in addition to effective treatment outcomes (Boyce et al,
2010).
Lastly, commitment and collaboration are essential processes in the coaching
relationship. As indicated by Boyce, Jackson and Neal (2010), “commitment reflects the
dedication of both the client and coach to perform the work associated with the coaching
experience” (p. 918). A strong personal commitment includes a mutual understanding and
pledge to be accountable for individual responsibilities in the client-coach relationship, like
attending sessions, being available, and open socially (Boyce et al, 2010). Boyce et al (2010)
states, “encouraging and sustaining individual commitment is considered essential to coaching
effectiveness ensuring the difficult tasks and necessary discussions are completed” (p. 918).
Coaching Outcomes
Backinsell and Garner (2008), point out that there are four primary purposes of a
relationship:
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“To produce results: the relationship is a means to an end. It is concerned with
agreeing goals with another person and meeting expectations.
•
To develop intimacy: the relationship is concerned with support, closeness, and
connection
•
To achieve autonomy: the relationship is concerned with individuality and
independence
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To develop trust: the relationship is concerned with commitment” (p. 4).
Relationships usually start with the purpose of achieving a goal (Backinsell & Garner, 2008). As
the relationship develops, in trust and mutual respect, the purpose becomes more about
developing a genuine care for the other person, in addition to facilitating the person in achieving
his or her specific goals through the relationship (Backinsell & Garner, 2008). Ultimately, a need
to affirm one’s uniqueness and differences evolves throughout the process towards autonomy.
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Finally, this brings about a conclusion determination whether or not the relationship is achieving
the desired results (Backinsell & Garner, 2008). This model provides a framework that can be
used for making sense of the coaching relationship and how it advances. The connection
between being an effective coach and having an effective relationship is that they both have a
direct influence on the other. The coach-client relationship is fundamental to the process of
coaching and numerous researchers suggest that an effective coaching relationship brings about
positive coaching outcomes (Boyce et al, 2010).
In an empirical study of a military leadership coaching program experience, Boyce et al
(2010), used Donald Kirkpatrick’s four levels of evaluation model, which includes reaction,
learning, behavior, and results, as a basis for measuring the efficiency of the coaching
relationship. Reactions referred to the client’s subjective experience and evaluation about the
program. Behavior referred to the influence that the experience had on the client. Results referred
to the achievement of the organizations objectives (Boyce et al, 2010). After randomly and
systematically matching clients and coaches based on their commonalities, compatibility, and
credibility scores researchers found that the client-coach relationship is essential to successful
coaching outcomes. They discovered that different aspects of the relationship, like rapport,
which leads to positive reactions between the all have an impact on coaching outcomes (Boyce et
al, 2010). Developing trust in the client-coach relationship is important to establish and is critical
to both the coach and the client’s experience (Boyce et al, 2010).
In a broader perspective, one of the added bonuses or outcomes from being an effective
coach and having an effective client-coach relationship is the connections that are made during
and after the coaching relationship comes to an end. Throughout the coaching process a coach
might refer their client to other professionals who can also help them along the path to achieving
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their goals. Alternatively, if a client is satisfied with the coaching relationship and achieves their
goals in the end they develop a high opinion of the coach, and will more than likely refer others
to him or her. So the power of networking lies in the connections that are made in the process of
building the client-coach relationship.
Obviously, there is more research to be done to determine how effective the client-coach
relationship is. Nevertheless, based upon the support provided in this essay, we can safely
assume that there is central value in the client-coach relationship and the relationship building
process. Furthermore, we have developed a better support and understanding of the influential
factors that ultimately increase the quality of a life coaching relationship.
.References
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Backinsell, D., & Garner, C. (2008, Nov 15). All about coaching: Building relationships to
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Bluckert, P. (2005). Critical factors in executive coaching- the coaching relationship. Industrial
and Commercial Training, 37(7), 336-340. doi:10.1108/00197850510626785
Boyce, L. A., Jackson, R. J., & Neal, L. J. (2010). Building successful leadership coaching
relationships. The Journal of Management Development, 29(10), 914-931.
doi:10.1108/02621711011084231
Menefee, G. (2011). 7 ways to establish client trust. Journal of Financial Planning, , 12.
Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/878217493?accountid=12085
Rogers, J. (2008). Coaching Skills: A Handbook . Maidenhead, England: McGraw Hill/Open
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Wasylyshyn, K. M. (2003). Executive coaching: An outcome study. Consulting Psychology
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