2
This project entails determining the personal conflict that is unresolved and needs to be
addressed. For me, the unresolved conflict is the fact that someone within my church ministry
named Renee Chardson gave some extremely bad advice to some new converts that I had given
personal counsel.
On April 14, 2023, after a Sunday night church service I approached two new converts
with some spiritual advice. This is a newlywed couple by only a few months. During the time
they had come into the church, I noticed several freshly divorced church Saints had surrounded
the wife. They had befriended her but in addition to becoming friends with her, they began to
unload their marriage woes onto this woman who had just gotten married. In addition, I noticed
that her husband was not sitting with her. Instead, he was sitting in the front row while she
worshiped alone with her child and the divorced woman a few rows back. I pulled them aside
and explained to them that it would be worth their time to find some strong married couples to
surround themselves with so that they could become stronger husband and wife. During the week
of April 17, 2023, they told a local older woman in our congregation of the things I had
suggested. This woman then told them to stay away from me, avoid me and my wife, and not
have anything to do with me. She too was a divorced woman that they were hanging around.
On April 20th, 2023 my wife and I noticed that this coupled was giving us the cold
shoulder, running away from us every time they saw us and we could feel something was wrong.
When we approached them, they told us they had their mentors and didn’t want to have anything
to do with us.
On April 23rd, 2023 which was a Sunday night service, the woman they had confided in
came to me and placed herself as a middleman and told me that she and her divorced husband
3
were giving them counseling sessions. She stated she never told them to avoid me or be mean to
me. She then stated if there was something Id like to say to this couple I should come to her first
and she will relay the message.
By June 1st, 2023 our Pastor ended up having to get involved. He told the young couple
that they had much to learn from my wife and me and that they should adhere to the advice I
gave. Sadly, the divorced woman who was counseling them is my Pastor's sister. She tends to get
involved with people's lives and unfortunately due to her family status as the Pastor's sister,
everyone allows her to do whatever she wants to do.
My response to the conflict was to escape. I along with my wife have decided going
forward that we would have minimal words to say to this woman and to move on. The good
news is the new convert couple has indeed heeded my Pastor's suggestions and has started to
speak to us again. God loves peace. From Genesis to Revelation, he communicates a deep desire
to bless his people with peace and to use them to bring peace to others.1
One way I can glorify God through this conflict is by forgiving as God forgave me.
“Christians are the most forgiven people in the world. Therefore, we should be the most
forgiving people in the world.”2 I can also glorify God through reconciliation. “Being reconciled
does not mean that the person who offended you must now become your closest friend. What it
means is that your relationship will be at least as good as it was before the offense occurred.
Once that happens, an even better relationship may develop.”3
1 Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Third Edition. (Grand
Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2004), 43.
2 Ibid., 204.
3 Ibid., 219.
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I can serve others through this conflict by recognizing the ways that God is using this situation
for good. In addition, I can serve others by remembering to always speak kind words to people as
Jesus would have me do.
In conclusion, we are to forgive as God forgave us. It’s a command to forgive others the
same way God has forgiven us through Christ. Reconciliation also involves looking not to my
interest but also the interest of others. Finally, we need to learn to overcome evil with good. This
helps us to do what will please and honor God.
