Conflicts and Values Awareness 2
Conflicts and Values Awareness
It is vital for counselors to understand their values and conflicts they might have with
their clients because of differing viewpoints or worldviews. In this paper I will discuss the moral
foundations that provide a basis for my values, the three most important value differences I may
have with clients as well as a case example, and a reflection on this experience.
Moral Foundations
I found Hook et al.’s (2017) questionnaire acceptable in assessing my highest moral
foundations for what I believe is right or wrong, yet some differences in the other three
categories suggest further expansion. My scores were as follows: harm/care, 28;
fairness/reciprocity, 25; ingroup/loyalty, 13; authority/respect, 14; and purity/sanctity, 18.
The highest score of 28 represents a good indicator of my strongest determining factor for
what is morally correct. This is the highest score because I believe a true evaluation of what
determines what is moral deals with the core issue of love. If one keeps the law of love (Romans
13:8), they are doing no harm to their neighbor (Romans 13: 10). Jesus explains the greatest law
is to love God and the second is like it, to love your neighbor (Matthew 22:36-40). He reveals
that the two laws are connected: you cannot do one without doing the other. Because I am a
follower of Christ, my highest aim is to love as God loves, and when I do this, I am doing what is
right (Micah 6:8).
The second highest score for assessing my moral foundation is fairness/reciprocity. Hook
et al. (2017) explains this moral foundation is built on what is fair and just. Micah 6:8 says, “He
has shown you… what is good and what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love
mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (New International Version). If we are to act with
justice, we must work on behalf of humankind to bring about what is equitable for all, yet God
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moves beyond simple justice. He desires mercy as well. This means when I consider what is just,
I am also considering the entire story of God to redeem people and bring them into relationship
with him. God in his great mercy (Ephesians 2:4-5) is making a way for salvation. Because I
have a Christian worldview, I see why these two foundations are the highest scores when
assessing my moral foundation; these are the two highest standards I use when determining what
is right or wrong.
My next highest score is 18 for purity/sanctity. I need to differentiate between some of
the questions used to assess this foundation. While I believe anything that “fall[s] short of the
glory of God” (Romans 3:23, New International Version), is sin, I do not think this necessarily
includes people doing “disgusting things”, or when people violate certain “standards of purity”,
that these things are necessarily wrong. Jesus broke purity laws of his time when he touched the
leper (Matthew 8:3). To touch a leper is considered disgusting by some people. I think the moral
thing to do includes touching the leper to bring comfort and care.
The other two moral foundations are not as high, and I need to differentiate between these
two as well. While authority/respect is important in the life of a believer, and I believe this value
should be taught to children, this does not necessarily relate to traditional values of society.
There are ways this value is metered out in the life of a Christian that do not relate to all the
questions used to determine its value in the questionnaire. Finally, “some stress loyalty and make
moral decisions based on a commitment to one’s team, tribe, or group” (Hook et al., 2017, p.
159). This is my lowest score and reflects a fairly accurate account of how I determine whether it
should be used as a moral foundation for right or wrong. While I scored high on two of the
questions in the questionnaire about betrayal and remaining loyal to your family or community,
the other questions were amoral in my understanding of determining right or wrong.
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Value Differences
When there is a difference in values between the counselor and the client, a collaborative
discussion is important. According to Hook et al. (2017), the value difference should be named,
and options should be explored to work through the issue together. If the counselor cannot
bracket or allow the client to hold their values as their own, referral is an option.
Three value differences I would struggle with the most include sexual relationships
outside of the biblical definition of marriage, abortion, and different religion. My counseling
practice would be upfront about the Christian worldview I hold, yet there might be some way to
bracket counseling for value differences in some of these categories. I would be sure to share
vocabulary with a definition of terms, so we have a starting point to begin our collaboration.
Ultimately, it would be left up to the client whether to remain as a client after I describe how my
worldview affects my counseling practice. Of course, I hope to model multicultural humility in
my approach to all value differences and conflicts.
Sexual relationships between a man and a woman outside of marriage are not part of the
covenant relationship God asks of his followers. This includes homosexual, adulterous, and pre-
marital relations. Paul explains in 1 Corinthians chapter 6:12-18 that the body is not created for
immorality and when people commit sins of this nature, they are ultimately bringing more harm
than healing to themselves. A conflict in values might arise between me and my client if they
sought counsel that ignored the issue of coming under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. This is also
the same problem that would present itself if one were to live under another religion as an
alternate way to live one’s life. In these cases, a referral might be best. In the following case
example, I hope to expound on the use of multicultural humility and how I would approach a
difference in values between me and a client.
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Case Example
An eighteen-year-old, recent high school graduate, heterosexual, cis gender female by the
name of Allison comes in for counseling. In a previous intake session, she explained she is
considering going to college, but she discovered she is pregnant. She no longer wants a
relationship with the father of the child, and she is considering an abortion. She decides to go to
counseling because she is experiencing depressive symptoms and is generally unsure of what she
should do. She hasn’t told anyone except her best friend from high school. I am the pastoral
counselor, a cis gender female, at the church she attends sporadically. Allison is supported
financially by her parents, who also attend my church. She believes in Pro-Choice and should
have an abortion as she feels she has no other good option, but she is feeling increasingly unsure.
Her best friend from high school suggests an abortion is the only “smart thing” to do. She does
not want to tell her parents. I recognize we have a conflict in values and think it is wise to
address this in our next session when an opportunity arises.
Allison: I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I think I should probably just have an abortion…
it’s the only thing that makes sense. I don’t want to tell my parents! It’s my body, and if I
get rid of it, I can go on to college like we’ve planned. It’d be so much easier.
Me: It sounds like this doesn’t fit in with the plans that you and your parents have had for
you, and maybe you’re worried about telling your parents this has happened...?
Allison: Yeah, I didn’t plan for this. I made a stupid mistake! I don’t want to argue with
them about it. I know they would want me to keep the baby.
Me: It sounds like autonomy is important to you, and you don’t want to be pressured to
make decisions…
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Allison: Yeah, I want to make my own decisions, but I feel like I just don’t know how to
break away from them or tell them what I want.
Me: Finding your voice can be difficult. I wonder if you’re worried about how they
would respond…?
Allison: Oh yeah, they’d be upset! They’d be so disappointed. Mom would probably
scream, and Dad would sit in silence and just stare or worse, cry. It’d be awful.
Me: Allison, I know it’s difficult to see your parents upset, but I wonder how they would
feel after the first shock wore off. Can you tell me about that?
Allison: Well… I guess after awhile they’d calm down. And I think they’d be okay with
it. Yeah, they’d be okay. We’d figure it out. They would want to convince me to keep the
baby, of course. Ugh… that’s just not something I want to do.
Me: It sounds like your parents care about you and your decisions a lot. I know that might
feel controlling. I also want to let you know I care about you and what you value, and I
want to help you seek out goals for your life that align with what is best for you. I want
to help you walk through this with your parents, but it is your choice whether you tell
them or not. It is your choice whether you keep the baby or not. I need to tell you that my
values align with life as the best choice for your baby and for you, but these are your
choices, and I will support you as you make them.
In this scenario, I tried to demonstrate how I would use language that is open and
affirming. According to Magnuson (2019), using language that permeates love and remembering
that “tone matters” (p. 153) may be the very thing that wins a person over. I allowed the client to
talk and share her fears and concerns. I did not use language to offend, but I shared she was free
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to make her own decisions; part of those choices included whether to allow me the space to
speak into her life as a counselor.
Conclusion
In my paper I discussed the pillars of my moral foundation and how I determine right
from wrong. The law of love is tantamount to understanding this reality and I hope to practice it
well in counseling. When conflicts of value differences are present in the therapeutic alliance,
they must be addressed and openly discussed, so the client can decide whether to continue
counseling with me based on understanding my values and their own formal consent. This
experience has taught me why and how I determine what I think is morally right or wrong. I have
learned that thinking through a scenario like the case example I presented is helpful in practicing
multicultural humility. I have also learned multicultural humility is a challenging task that
requires extreme attentiveness to the Holy Spirit and his counsel as he helps me to counsel
others.
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References
Hook, J. N., Davis, D., Owen, J., & DeBlaere, C. (2017). Cultural Humility. American
Psychological Association. https://mbsdirect.vitalsource.com/books/9781433827792
Magnuson, K. (2019). On whether abortion is murder: The questions of rhetoric and reality. In J.
D. Chatraw & K. S. Prior (Eds.), Cultural engagement: A crash course in contemporary
issues (pp. 153-156). Zondervan Academic.
New International Bible. (1984). International Bible Society. (Original work published 1973).
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