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ROLE OF LISTENER
Role of the Listener
Brooklyn Freeman
HSCO 508
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ROLE OF LISTENER
Role of the Listener
Listening is something we have to do every day. In almost every situation, there is an
opportunity to listen to something or someone. There are many people who struggle with
listening to anything. Listening is a part of building better relationships. In order to have a
healthy and successful relationship, you have to be able to listen to the other person. This does
not just include romantic relationships, but all types. Being better listeners shows our partner that
we do care about what they have to say. In turn, this shows that we care about the relationship at
all.
One key component of listening is showing empathy to our partner in the conversation
(Peterson, 2022). He emphasizes the importance of empathy while being a listener. It is one of
the techniques to being a positive relationship. Having empathy is a hard thing for a lot of
individuals. Personally, I believe that empathy is one of my strongest qualities. According to my
UniquelyYou (2023), I do have better listening skills that I do talking skills. In my mind, I want
all the details to the story. However, one of my flaws is that I can easily become distracted while
someone is telling a long story. I have to work hard to focus on what the other person is saying.
Listening for long periods of time can be difficult for anyone. A key concept of listening
is staying in the moment (Schultze & Badzinski, 2015). I do believe in the age of social media; it
is harder for individuals to live in the moment. We become so focused on what is going on in the
world around us that we forget what is happening in front of us. Think about the number of times
that you go out to eat. How many people do you see without a cellphone on the table or in their
hand? Majority of the time, all individuals at a table have a phone of some sort in their hand.
Technology has made it more difficult for us to listen to another person in front of our faces. We
find it easier to listen to someone behind a screen. I can admit that I am guilty of that as well.
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There are times where I am not the best listener. For example, my husband and I can sit
in the same room without talking verbally. We send videos back and forth on social media, but
rarely say something in person. Obviously, we do communicate verbally majority of the time. It
is the times we do not where we do not understand each other. Many people find it easier to
communicate through a screen.
How does that make you a better listener? Can you observe people’s body language or
facial expressions through a screen? The answer to both of those questions is no. In order to be a
better listener, we have to stay present in the moment. The idea is that we solely focus on the
person speaking to us (Schultze & Badzinski, 2015). We have to have a kind of self-discipline to
be able to fully listen.
As counselors we have to be great listeners for our clients, but as Christians, we have to
be better than most. In Proverbs 19 verse 20, the Bible tells us “Listen to advice and accept
discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise”. To be honest, I do not think I
have ever paid much attention to this scripture. I found it while doing my own research about
listening and it stuck out to me. I know that as counselors, we do not technically give advice, but
people see us that way. Many people in my life have given advice to me, but more times than
not, it is just a passing thought. After reading this week about listening and then finding that
scripture, it tells me that I should slow down. I need to pay more attention to the advice that
people give me.
In my new season of life that I am about to enter, I will be forced to slow down. My
husband and I are expecting our first child in just a few months. This week brought to my
attention that I need to be a better listener for her. How can I expect her to listen to me when she
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is older if I struggle myself? I have always lived a life where we stayed constantly busy, but this
is teaching me the reality of slowing down.
Overall, it is important that we attend to reality to become a better listener (Schultze &
Badzinski, 2015). It is our job as leaders to be fully present in the moment with whoever we are
communicating with. If we want to be successful at any kind of communication, we have to stop
and focus on the whole being in front of us (Schultze & Badzinski, 2015). The person as a
whole is what matters the most. That individual may be counting on us to show them the
kindness of empathy. They may need a smile from us to feel like everything is going to be okay.
There are so many things that we can offer as listeners to help the individual reach their goals.
We can be better listeners to improve our communication skills for those around us.
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Reference
@Petersen, J. (2022).Why Don’t We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in
Relationships@(3rd ed.). MBS Content.
New King James Bible, 2007.
Schultze, Q. J., & Badzinski, D. M. (2015). An essential guide to interpersonal communication:
Building great relationships with faith, skill, and virtue in the age of social
Uniquely You. (2023).@Leadership online profile: Professional expanded%(Latest ed.). Uniquely
You Resources.
