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Running head: SLOW TO SPEAK
Slow to Speak
Katrenna Redd
Liberty University
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SLOW TO SPEAK
Slow to Speak
Don’t let emotion-laden words throw you. Begin to recognize certain words that affect
you the point where you stop listening and start forming a rebuttal. One way to deal with
this is to quickly analyze the reasons those words stir you, then resume listening,
withholding any judgement until you fully comprehend what point the speaker is making.
Another method is to jot down major rebuttal pints as questions; do this briefly, not at
length. Both methods can help clear your mind so that you can return to listening with an
open mind. (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 122).
When reflecting on this quote, I have come to understand that accusatory words tend to
cause me to go into defense mode immediately. Not only the words, but a person’s tone,
mannerisms, and environment in which the words are being used all affect my ability to listen.
When placed in situations where during a conversation I feel that I must defend myself, I find
that I stop listening to what the person is trying to say and immediately begin formulating my
defense instead of remaining present and listening to everything that the person is saying. My
Uniquely You (2018) assessment explains that when dealing with conflict, my personality type
doesn’t seem to care because the problem is the other person’s fault; therefore, the issue is
seldom resolved. When I hear trigger words that makes me feel as though I need to defend
myself, I respond in a way that proves the issue is with the other person and not of my own
accord. I sometimes use hurtful words in my defense that cause further issues. Stewart (2012)
explains that hurtful messages are difficult to repair and not easily forgotten. While I do not
always handle conflict in this manner, I now recognize the instances where my listening ceases
and should continue to prevent me from using spiteful words to defend myself when it may not
even be necessary.
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SLOW TO SPEAK
From a biblical worldview, I see that I need to have more of a sense of urgency to listen
completely than to defend myself. James 1:19-20 states “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let
every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the
righteousness of God” (King James Version). Going forward, I will practice staying present and
listening intently in conversations that make me feel as though I need to defend myself to ensure
that I hear and understand fully what the other person is trying to say.
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SLOW TO SPEAK
Reference
Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: The forgotten skill: A self-teaching guide (2nd ed.). New
York, NY: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication. New York,
NY: McGraw-Hill.
Uniquely You (2018). Uniquely You Report. (Available from Uniquely You, P.O. Box 490
Blue Ridge, GA 30513)
