PRACTICAL BOOK REVIEW OF PETERSEN TEXT
LIBERTY UNIVERSITY
SUMMARY
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In the book "Why don't we listen Better? by James Petersen. He points out the
importance of improving our communication. Petersen explains how active listening is
enhancing our communication skills. Excellent communication allows you to open discussion in
a different section including leisure and work. Listening is a critical part of any relationship
whether you are establishing a new relationship with a new peer or supervisor. Trying to
support and keep communication barriers from been create are important in communication.
Petersen discusses in the text communication at a two-level process.
Level one entails of communicating and the sender and the receiver dialogue of
information, and the two addressing each point of view. However, Petersen explains that level
two goes much deeper. It looks to prepare a collaboration solution for both parties are satisfy
with the settlement of the relationship. Level two is when most issues are resolved in a
relationship. There is a critical need for individuals to understand the complexity of the different
level of the communication process and to strive for enhancement and improvement.
Petersen explains how effective communication between people is problematic when
one party assumes that everyone concerned is aware of all aspects of the issues, whereas, in
fact, many are still uninformed. He stated that thoughts and feelings are different from each
person but, affect each other significantly. To achieve clarity, the sender must be clear in his or
her mind regarding the idea to be communicated, delivered the message ensure that the
message has been correctly understood.
Petersen characterizes the talker initiates the message by encoding a thought. Both the
sender and receiver must utilize skill and effort in two-way communication. He talked about
many circumstances that help or hinder establishing healthy communication habits. Also, he
offers strategies to address the situation to eliminate communication barriers. Good
communication should be clear and accurate. Recognize that everyone sees things from a
different point view and respectful of other opinions.
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RESPONSE
In chapter 24 of the book when Peterson explain the three steps for making decisions
together. Being that I am about to get married, this section helps when communicating with my
fiancé. I find myself doing this all the time when I wanted to go somewhere, but she doesn't
give me the answer I was looking for when I asked her something. He gave the example of the
couple conversation about going to the movies. My fiancé and I were involved in debate one
Saturday night, and as a result, we found it easier if one of us had a place we wanted to eat
beforehand. We would say something about it earlier. That one night we both kept going back
and forth about where we should eat. We both kept saying "it's up to you" then finally after a
minute of going through that process then when one of us would name a place then the other
would have criticized the other person choosing. We learn that the trick is to share your idea
first then as a couple decides where you and your mate wants to eat. A minor situation, but I
am a firm believer that small issues can become large ones if they are not handled properly.
Effective communication makes it possible to have us both moving toward a win-win solution
and where we both are pleased with the results.
CRITIQUE
After reading the text by Peterson, it showed me several issues that could be barriers to
my communication. One important issue is how to communication with others when conflict
has escalation and barrier has been formed in the communication. In my profession
communication is very critical, most of the time you are communicating with hostile individuals
with different views of life and you must influence them that your ideas based on your
assessment of them is in the best interest. Communicating with individuals that is much older
than yourself, that is also stick in their ways. Many feels that counselors that is younger than
him can’t give him any advice. I am always working with a various caseload which can be
offenders that is 21 years old to 70 years old. I must work to accomplish the goal of sending this
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person out better than they came in. When there is little communication that happens, this job
becomes difficult.
However, conflict and disagreements is an irresistible issue that is part of life. No matter
how you try to avoid it, it's going to happen, whether in your personal time at home or your
time at the workplace. Petersen explains how we should balance communication. We should
listen awhile then talk until the other persons stop hearing then lastly, you should listen until
the person calms enough to hears again.
APPLICATION
I am grateful I had the opportunity to read the text. I will begin by improving my
communication skills whether it's verbal or nonverbal. I am a firm believer that is admitting that
we have something we need to fix or improve always the beginning of the process. Then
understanding that most the time we are more interested in getting our point of view across. As
looking back over my years, I must say I have lacked good communication, especially in my
personal life.
Listening should always be the priority when communicating with anyone. As I look back
on my times of working in the fast food businesses, conflicts were much consistent, for the most
part, it was personal opinions that were shared at the wrong moment or just didn't need to be
said at the workplace. I blame a lot of the problems on the lack of communication skills in the
workplace. Also, how the managers conducted themselves whether it was communicating with
the employees or setting an example of how you are supposed to act when working for this
organization.
In my opinion, interpersonal conflicts can be positive depending on the type of people
involved in the conflict. If two people are very strongly opinionated, then an interpersonal
conflict will more than likely be a negative one. If two people are acceptant of others opinions,
then the interpersonal conflict will more than likely be a positive one. I cannot think of a
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positive experience that I have had because I am very opinionated myself, but I do believe that
there can be situations that can have a positive outcome. Many skills I have learned, I will use to
resolve conflicts in most cases. I prefer the proper communication with active listening because
they are good ways of understanding both parties point of view and addressing the issue where
both sides can come to a win-win compromise.
Reference
Petersen, J. C. (2007). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in
relationships (Revised and expanded ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications.
