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This week, there have been several communication barriers identified by Peterson (2015),
Schultze & Badzinski (2015) and France & Weikel (2020). Although we all aim to be skillful
and master communicators, there will always be barriers and challenges that we face. As my
communication has developed during this course, I have identified several barriers present in my
own communication style.
My Most Significant Communication Barrier
My most significant communication barrier that I have identified this week is addressed
by France & Weikel (2020) and the authors refer to it as “Asking three or more questions in a
row without reflecting any of the client’s responses.” This is something I find myself doing on a
daily basis in my professional role and has been an area for professional development I have
been working towards for several months now. Professionally, I investigate allegations of child
abuse. This involves many interviews with clients, some of which last for hours at a time. I find
myself getting caught up in thinking of the next question to ask instead of listening and reflecting
about the answers my clients are giving. I become consumed with making sure I address every
detail in the allegation and even though I am taking notes while my client responds to my
questions, sometimes I see myself going through the motions and typing their words without
actually thinking and processing. I believe this comes out of habit after conducting so many
investigations and is something I must “check myself” and be more mindful of. This can make
my clients feel as though they are being targeted or create a very formal “interrogation” tone to
the conversation. France & Weikel (2020) suggest stopping yourself after three questions to
reflect on the information being presented to you before moving forward. I plan to implement
this practice moving forward.
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My Next Most Significant Communication Barrier
My second most significant communication barrier comes from Peterson (2015) and the
author refers to it as the “Yes, but…” communication trap. Peterson (2015) identifies this as a
specific trap when we are listening to something we do not agree with. Again, in my professional
role investigation allegations of child abuse, I find myself doing this a lot. When clients or
parents are trying to rationalize their actions and behaviors toward their children, I find myself
responding with “Okay, but…” and offering them advise or guidance about how to correct their
behavior. I find myself doing this most often in cases of severe abuse where the parents are not
accepting responsibility for their wrongdoings or are trying to justify their problematic
behaviors. Although it is my professional responsibility to educate and counsel parents about
laws and parenting choices, I also need to be mindful not to invalidate the experiences the client
has had prior to me entering their home. My intention with the “Okay, but…” is often to change
the client’s way of thinking which sometimes can be helpful (Peterson, 2015). I will continue to
use the “Yes, but…” style of communication when necessary, but need to work on letting the
client complete their thoughts and processing before I interject so as not to make them feel
attacked or invalidated.
My Biblical World View and My Communication Barriers
When considering my personal communication barriers, the scripture that comes to mind
is James 1:19 which says “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear,
slow to speak, slow to anger” (ESV, 2001). In this verse, James is always calling followers of
God to maintain their trust in God, even when faced with conflict or turmoil. We should know
that God is with us and God is in control. Feeling and remembering God’s presence allows us to
distance ourselves from our initial gut reactions and instead, take time to reflect and process
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before responding to whatever hardship we are faced with. When I apply this to my
communication barriers, I need to remind myself that God is in control of these conversations
and God is guiding me while I counsel clients and interact with them. Feeling the presence of
God in my heart and my mind should allow me to slow down, take a step back and reflect before
responding. If I let God take control of the conversations, I wont be pulled into the trap of
“asking too many questions without reflecting” (France & Weikel (2020), because I will be
quick to hear and slow to speak, as James 1:19 says (ESV, 2001). I also will not be pulled into
the “Yes, but…” (Peterson, 2015) trap because I will be slow to anger, as James 1:19 says. This
is a verse I plan to remind myself of prior to beginning an interview or conversation with a
client. The purpose is to remind myself that these communication traps create barriers to having
successful and meaningful communication.
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References
English Standard Version Bible.E(2001). ESVEOnline.Ehttps:www.esv.org
France, K. & Weikel, K. (2020). Helping skills for human service workers: Building
relationships and encouraging productive change (4th ed.). Charles C. Thomas Publisher
Inc.
Petersen, J. E(2015). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting in relationships
(2nd ed.). 102-115. Petersen Publications.
Schultze, Q. J. &EBadzinski, D. M. (2015).EAn essential guide to interpersonal communication:
Building great relationships with faith, skill, and virtue in the age of social media,E89-
100. Baker Academic.
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