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Journal Article Review: Self-Forgiveness
Summary
The topic of self-forgiveness has received very little attention and research over the years.
According to the literature, self-forgiveness can be defined as a “show of goodwill toward the
self while one clears the mind of the self–hatred and self–contempt that results from hurting
another” (Hall & Fincham, 2005, p. 621). Forgiveness is both interpersonal and intrapersonal,
and, in many ways, they can be very similar. “These two forms of forgiveness are both processes
that unfold over time and require an objective wrong for which the offender is not entitled to
forgiveness but is granted forgiveness nonetheless” (Hall & Fincham, 2005, p.623). In other
comparisons, both interpersonal and intrapersonal forgiveness does not condone or justify any
wrongdoings. “To forgive is not to say that one’s behavior was acceptable or should be
overlooked” (Hall & Fincham, 2005, p.623).
Despite many comparisons, there are distinct differences between self-forgiveness and
interpersonal forgiveness. The two forms of forgiveness differ in the focus of forgiveness–related
motivations. “We conceptualize self–forgiveness as a set of motivational changes whereby one
becomes decreasingly motivated to avoid stimuli associated with the offense, decreasingly
motivated to retaliate against the self and increasingly motivated to act benevolently toward the
self” (Hall & Fincham, 2005, P.621). Self-forgiveness is not always unconditional compared to
interpersonal forgiveness. For instance, sometimes, self-forgiveness may only occur if certain
conditions are met (Hall & Fincham, 2005). Another distinct difference is that interpersonal
forgiveness does not always indicate reconciliation with the offender, whereas reconciliation and
peace with the self are essential in intrapersonal forgiveness (Hall &Fincham, 2005). Despite the
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limited research on self-forgiveness, this paper presented a much-needed theoretical model of
self-forgiveness of interpersonal transgressions (Hall & Fincham, 2005).
Reflect
This article initially struck my curiosity because, as mentioned in the article, self-
forgiveness is a topic that has very little research. In terms of our faith and spirituality,
interpersonal forgiveness is a prevalent topic of discussion. In order to truly be at peace with
something that has happened or with someone who has done something harmful against you,
forgiveness must take place. Christianity teaches us that we must show compassion, mercy, and
forgiveness toward others just as God forgives us. When we can extend grace and mercy toward
others, God does the same for us.
Self-forgiveness is just as crucial. When I feel guilt or shame about something I have
done or said against someone, I experience regret and remorse. One of the points mentioned in
the article regarding intrapersonal forgiveness is that self-forgiveness is often met with
conditions. This resonated with my spirit because I believe conditional self-forgiveness is the
culprit to why it may be difficult for me to forgive myself in certain instances. For example,
growing up, I did not have the desire to have children. However, once I got married, I decided to
compromise and have a child with my husband at the time. I experienced severe postpartum
depression after having our baby. My husband and I shortly divorced after having our daughter.
It was during this time I experienced severe depression and anxiety. I no longer wanted to be a
mother and often thought about leaving her with my parents and simply running away. Fast
forward six years, I realize now that I was brutally depressed and not in my right frame of mind.
However, it continues to take a toll on my ability to forgive myself truly. In order for me to truly
forgive myself for having those thoughts in the past, I feel I have to be the “perfect mother” now.
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Realistically, I know that there is no such thing as a perfect mother. “Self–forgiveness often
entails a resolution to change and to behave differently in the future. Thus, if this resolution is
broken, self–destructive motivation may reemerge and overpower self-constructive motivation”
(Hall & Fincham, 2005, p.623).
Application
Applying the points mentioned in this article will be of great use in my school's mental
health and counseling field. Interpersonal and intrapersonal forgiveness are essential skills for
students to understand for healthy social-emotional and mental health growth. This example
lesson gives an idea of how to apply self-forgiveness, then support and implement it with some
related activities. This lesson can be implemented with all grade levels. However, I believe it will
have the most impact with grade levels 6-12.
First, the objectives must be identified within the lesson. After this lesson, students will
be able to define and explain self-forgiveness and discuss and identify why self-forgiveness is
important. Overall, the lesson should take approximately 45-60 minutes to go over, depending on
the length of the activities. Some of the essential vocabulary words that students will define and
understand are interpersonal forgiveness, intrapersonal forgiveness, regret, conscience, and
remorse. I will begin the lesson by doing a feelings check-in as I would with all lessons. Then,
we will begin the lesson with a warm-up. I will then ask students to think of a time they did
something to someone hurtful. When students have their thoughts, they will briefly share the
story with a partner during our class discussion.
During the small group activities, the students will then write down the conditions that
prevent them from forgiving themselves for the hurtful thing that was done to the other person.
This activity aims to acknowledge what was done wrong and see on paper what is preventing
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intrapersonal forgiveness. The inability to heal properly can cause a decline in grades, the
inability to focus during class, and also a lack of social skills with fellow peers. The article is an
excellent resource to utilize for a social-emotional and mental health curriculum. Intrapersonal
forgiveness is a skill that young people will be able to apply in school and in the real-world.
