Summary
Family to Family is a foundational book for Christian parents to understand better the
importance of, and how to pass on, faith in Jesus to their children. While this may initially be
dismissed by those who are single or childless, the practicality of the book can apply to all
genuine Christians who are centered on faithfully living out the great commission.
As stated by the author Jerry Pipes, “We are to grow to maturity in Christ by deepening
our love relationship with Him and then out of the overflow sharing His saving grace with
others.”1 Pipes further explains how the results of growing maturity in Christ allow us to
influence our “families, friends, neighbors,”2 and people we do not even know. Establishing a
family that faithfully follows Christ is approached clinically and honestly throughout this book
through explanations of how to develop family mission statements, serve God as a family, and
develop spiritual practices that are engaging and exciting for children.
Strengths
One of the greatest strengths of0Family to Familyis the directness of Pipes in addressing
the need for Christian parents to be the ones to lead and grow their children in the faith while
giving practical ways for parents to do so. Pipes accurately points out that parents are to serve as
mentors who lead their children to maturity in Christ and thus develop a mission-minded family.3
How do parents practically engage in authentic mentorship of their children? One of the ways
outlined in Family to Family is by developing a family mission statement. Pipes describes how
1 Jerry Pipes, Family to Family: Families Making A Difference (North American Mission Board, 1999), 17.
2 Ibid.
3 Ibid., 50.
families can make a difference by developing a mission statement that serves as a “centerline and
guardrails for your family on the road through life.”4
Many Christian families navigate life without an intended purpose and are thrown back
and forth by busyness only to accomplish what, in the end, may not be the most essential things
in life. Developing a family mission statement that is representative of submission to Christ’s
authority, specific to a God-honoring lifestyle, and has a clear goal to be achieved sets families
on the course to being truly healthy. The “How to develop a family mission statement” section of
Chapter 2 is an excellent guide.
Weaknesses
Though0Family to Family0is more directly addressed to parents, It could further explain
and address the still essential need for those who are single and or childless to help the next
generation grow to maturity in Christ. Many Christians engaged in the great commission will
have influence over younger children, kids, and teens. While many of the principles in0Family to
Family0directly corelate to children regardless of familial relation, there is a different dynamic in
ministering to children, kids, and teens when they are not your children. Understanding how to
partner with the parents of children one is ministering to would be an incredibly beneficial
section to be added to the book.
Favorite Quotes
“A healthy family cannot exist without time together. We must explode the myth that,
“We have quality time, not quantity time.” It takes time to invest in your children, and if they see
more of their dance teacher and basketball coach than they do of you, then the dance teacher and
4 Jerry Pipes, Family to Family: Families Making A Difference, 24.
basketball coach have the greatest influences.”5 Quality time is important, but it should never be
an excuse to spend most of my time elsewhere. It is vital for the development of children and
families to spend consistent time together. As a parent, it will be critical for me to invest in my
children's lives spiritually, emotionally, physically, and intellectually.
“We are to grow to maturity in Christ by deepening our love relationship with Him and
then out of the overflow sharing His saving grace with others. You can influence the lives of
family, friends, neighbors, and even people you have never met for eternity.”6 I begin sharing
God’s saving grace with my family and moving outward to those close to me in both relation and
proximity. My influence with my family can lead to a group on a mission for God, seeking his
kingdom. I have a responsibility to help those around me grow to maturity in Christ.
“Clearly, you must be intentional about submitting to Christ as the center of your family.
A family mission statement will serve as a centerline and guardrails for your family on the road
through life.”7 It will be impossible to stay on the path forward with God if I do not develop a
goal and mission for my family. This comes with intentionality in submitting to Christ as the
ultimate leader of me and my family. Creating a mission statement will help guide my family
and set boundaries for making important decisions together.
“Healthy families learn to say no to some good things so they can say yes to God’s
best.”8 It has always been difficult for me to say no. While this has led me to help people and
grow in some cases, it has also limited me from other things. Understanding where God is calling
5 Jerry Pipes, Family to Family: Families Making A Difference, 11.
6
Ibid., 17.
7
Ibid., 24.
8 Ibid., 37.
me and my family will allow for a healthy way to say yes to God’s best and not just to some
good things.
“Do your best, in the power of the Holy Spirit, to follow Christ. Then when your children
imitate you, and they will, they will be imitators of Christ.”9 Living my daily life in light of
following Jesus is one of the most essential ways to invest in my family. Children naturally
imitate their parents, so my family will catch, examine, and emulate my conduct. My goal should
be to walk by the spirit so that my family will ultimately replicate Jesus.
“Healthy families spend quantity and quality time around God’s purposes. If we truly
want our children to accept the gospel, then our commitment to Christ must spill over to those
around us who do not know Christ.”10 Sharing the gospel with others by both word and deed is
an excellent way for children to see our commitment to Christ. Loving people well with my
family reinforces our importance and care for Jesus. Walking as He walked will be more natural
for children to do if they see it practiced by their parents and explained to them.
“Ministry evangelism calls for a longer-term involvement including the potential to build
a relationship.”11 Servanthood evangelism effectively reaches unsaved people with whom I may
not have relationships. Ministry evangelism is more long-term but is advantageous in developing
relationships with the intentionality of sharing the gospel. This is an area that families can
participate in with many people groups like neighbors, community members, team members,
work colleagues, etc.
“Your family cannot only reach its neighborhood, but it can reach beyond it to the city,
state, and world through family mission trips.”12 The impact a family has can reach beyond just a
9 Jerry Pipes, Family to Family: Families Making A Difference, 53.
10
Ibid., 70.
11 Ibid., 72.
12 Jerry Pipes, Family to Family: Families Making A Difference, 94.
geographical region. Embarking on a mission trip is a great way to develop a deeper sense of
purpose within a family. We take vacations and travel often, but our commitment to traveling
with the purpose of spreading the gospel and loving people will have a lasting impact on our
families.
“An on-mission Christian cannot be effective without the power of prayer, it has been
well said, “You can do more than pray after you have prayed, but you cannot do more than pray
until you have prayed.”13 Being a great commission participant means my prayer life should be
persistent and consistent. I cannot do anything without the power of the spirit. Spending time in
prayer is the first step to being effective.
“As you consider your challenge in leading your family to be healthy and on mission for
God, you will at times feel overwhelmed by the responsibility. Therefore, it is especially
important that you understand that you are not the leader, nor the empowerment of the effort.
The Holy Spirit is there to guide you.”14 Leading a family will be a challenging task. Doing it on
my own will feel overwhelming and be impossible to do well. Remembering the Holy Spirit’s
empowerment is essential to leading well and remaining healthy.
Lessons Learned
After reading0Family to Family, I have come to understand that regardless of whether or
not I have children now or in the future, I can be an effective leader of my current family and
future family by committing to the instruction and practicality of this book. One of the ways I
can do that is by developing a family mission statement. This will serve me well both in my
current stage of life and in setting me up for intentionality with a future family of my own.
13
Ibid., 105.
14
Ibid., 106.
Another lesson I gleaned from0Family to Familyis the incorporation of ministry
evangelism in my life. I have begun practicing servanthood evangelism and see how it can be an
effective tool. Still, I also understand that servanthood evangelism generally operates as a “one
time effort”15 whereas ministry evangelism seeks to develop longstanding relationships. I plan to
develop these types of relationships in my life with the intentionality of witnessing to who Jesus
is.
Even though I do not have children, this book has awakened me to realize that my
responsibility as a parent will be to foster a family identity centered on Christ. This means that to
be healthy, I must put forth time, effort, and prayer with and for my family. I understand that it
“takes time to invest in your children”16 and if I do not, coaches, other parents, teachers and
friends will hold a greater influence in their lives.
Lastly, I will seek to be a mentor in my walk with Christ, both to those God brings in my
life for this purpose, and to children if God has that for me in the future. Pipes explains that “the
purpose of mentoring is to help bring a person to maturity in Christ.”17 My own children may be
a more involved and longer process, but it is a privilege and responsibility to be a part of. I can
be an effective mentor by not only correcting, but by affirming good things a child is doing.
15 Jerry Pipes, Family to Family: Families Making A Difference, 72.
16
Ibid., 11.
17
Ibid., 50.
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