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Attempts Attempt 1 score is3.1Attempt2 score is3.1Attempt 3 score is
Keep the Highest 3.1 out of 43.1 / 4
2.7
4 . Revision - Exercise 4
Directions: Carefully read the following passage sentence by sentence. Then, to improve the passage,
click on the blank lines below and choose the correct answers from the dropdown menus. In particular,
you must edit the passage for: verb consistency and consistency of number or person; parallel
structure; sentence variety; and exact, concise, and fresh language.
Culture Shock
(1) First introduced in 1958, the term culture shock nowError! Filename not specified.refers to the
anxiety people feel when they move to a new culture and environment. (2) The first stage of culture
shock Error! Filename not specified.was the incubation, or "honeymoon" stage. (3) In this stage, a
person may feel unusually happy and excited about all of the new things around Error! Filename not
specified.him or her . (4) Next, the second stage presents itself, in which the newly arrived person
may experience trials, hard times, Error! Filename not specified.and obstacles . (5) In this stage,
communication difficulties could surface, and the new arrival may feel Error! Filename not
specified.impatient, incompetent, sad, discontent, or angry while trying to adapt to a different
culture. (6) The transition from an old way of life to a new one can prove to be difficult, and it takes
time to adapt and accept a new culture. (7) During this transition, it Error! Filename not specified.is
not uncommon for a person to feel Error! Filename not specified.dissatisfied and frustrated
. (8) Experiencing a newfound pleasure, sense of humor, and feeling of psychological balance, Error!
Filename not specified.the new arrival begins to gain some knowledge of the new culture by the
third stage. (9) The person no longer feels Error! Filename not specified.under the weather and
may start to have a feeling of purpose as he or she becomes more familiar with the environment and
wants finally to belong. (10) This causes an evaluation of the old ways versus the new.
Points:
0.78 / 1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Corrected Sentence
(1) First introduced in 1958, the
term culture shock now refers to
the anxiety people feel when they
Explanation
The correct answer for sentence 1 is "refers". The
verb refers is parallel with the verb move in this
sentence. Both verbs should consistently be in the
Corrected Sentence
move to a new culture and
environment.
(2) The first stage of culture
shock is the incubation, or
"honeymoon" stage.
(3) In this stage, a person may feel
unusually happy and excited about
all of the new things around him
or her.
(4) Next, the second stage presents
itself, in which the newly arrived
person may experience trials, hard
times, and obstacles.
(5) In this stage, communication
difficulties could surface, and the
new arrival may feel impatient,
incompetent, sad, discontent, or
angry while trying to adapt to a
different culture.
(7) During this transition, it is not
uncommon for a person to
feel dissatisfied and frustrated.
(8) Experiencing a newfound
pleasure, sense of humor, and
feeling of psychological
balance, the new arrival begins to
gain some knowledge of the new
culture by the third stage.
(9) The person no longer
feels lost and may start to have a
Explanation
present tense.
In sentence 2, for verb consistency, the verb "is" should
be in the present tense.
The correct answer for sentence 3 is "him or her."
Only him or her clearly refers to the third person
singular subject, a person. Them is plural and you is in
the second person.
The correct answer for sentence 4 is "and obstacles."
The nouns trials and times are plural, and for parallel
structure, the noun obstacles should also be plural.
In sentence 5, the correct answer is "impatient,
incompetent, sad." The above, along
with discontent and angry, express parallel ideas
because they are all adjectives.
In sentence 7, the present tense form of the verb "is"
should be used for consistency with the rest of the
paragraph. To complete the sentence, dissatisfied and
frustrated is the best answer because it contains the
least vague language. These adjectives tell the reader
exactly how a person will feel during this stage of
culture shock.
The correct answer for sentence 8 is "the new arrival."
The sentence begins with an -ing modifier. Only a
person, the new arrival, can experience pleasure,
humor, and feelings. It or a travel experience cannot
experience these emotions, and choosing these options
would lead to a misplaced modifier.
In sentence 9, only the choice "lost" does not contain
trite language. The expressions crying your eyes
Corrected Sentence
feeling of purpose as he or she
becomes more familiar with the
environment and wants finally to
belong.
Explanation
out and under the weather are overused and should be
avoided.
Source: "The Stages of Culture Shock." 27 April 2010.
