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Attempts Attempt 1 score is0.8Attempt 2 score is
Keep the Highest 3.7 out of 43.7 / 4
Attempt3 score is3.6
3.7
Points:
8. Fresh Language - Avoiding Triteness
I have never thought of myself as a good writer . . . But I'm one of the world's great rewriters. I find
that three or four readings are required to comb out the clichés. —James A. Michener (Pulitzer Prize–
winning novelist, 1907–1997)
Fresh writing means avoiding trite expressions that are overused.
Trite vs. Fresh Language
Example of trite language:
After this moment of truth, my life will never be the same.
Example of fresh language:
After this stunning realization, my life will never be the same.
Directions: Read the sentences in the table that follows. Select "fresh" from the dropdown menu if the
sentence does not contain trite expressions. Select "trite" from the dropdown menu if the sentence
does not contain fresh language.
Sentences
Confucius was fond of the philosophy, "You be nice to
me, and I’ll be kind to you."
Confucius was fond of the philosophy, "You scratch my
back and I'll scratch yours."
The Chinese philosopher Confucius was born in or
around 551 BC in the city of Qufu (pronounced chu-fu)
on China's east coast.
The details of Confucius's life are shrouded in mystery.
We don't know much about Confucius's life, but better
late than never!
In this day and age, Confucius's philosophies are tried
and true.
Fresh or trite language?
Error! Filename not
specified.Fresh
Error! Filename not
specified.Trite
Error! Filename not
specified.Fresh
Error! Filename not
specified.Trite
Error! Filename not
specified.Trite
Error! Filename not
specified.Trite
Source: "Envisioning an Abstraction Who Was Also a Man." Art Review. New York Times. New York Times, 25 March 2010. 26
March 2010.
0.83 / 1
Explanation:
Close Explanation
Directions: Help Tabby edit some of the sentences in her first draft. Complete each of Tabby's
sentences by clicking on the blank line. Choose the option with fresh language.
Confucius was a manError! Filename not specified.with a mysterious past . He lived in a Error!
Filename not specified.tough and changing time . His father was Error! Filename not
specified.extremely poor , and died when Confucius was just three years old. Confucius could
have Error! Filename not specified.cried his eyes out but he was serious, persistent, and
determined. He accomplished many things in life and became Error! Filename not specified.an
influential person .
Points:
0.8 / 1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Correct Sentence
Confucius was a man with a mysterious
past.
He lived in a tough and changing time.
Sentences
Confucius was fond of the philosophy, "You be
nice to me, and I’ll be kind to you."
Confucius was fond of the philosophy, "You
scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."
The Chinese philosopher Confucius was born in
or around 551 BC in the city of Qufu (pronounced
chu-fu) on China's east coast.
The details of Confucius's life are shrouded in
mystery.
We don't know much about Confucius's life, but
better late than never!
In this day and age, Confucius's philosophies are
tried and true.
Explanation
This sentence uses fresh language and
does not contain any trite expressions.
The expression "you scratch my back
and I'll scratch yours" is trite.
This sentence uses fresh language
because it does not contain any trite
expressions.
This sentence uses fresh language
because it does not contain any trite
expressions.
The phrase "better late than never"
is trite.
The phrases "in this day and age" and
"tried and true" are trite.
Explanation
The phrase "with a mysterious past" completes
the sentence best because man of mystery is a
trite expression.
The phrase "tough and changing time"
completes the sentence best because cold cruel
Correct Sentence
His father was extremely poor and died
when Confucius was just three years old.
Confucius could have spent his life feeling
miserable and depressed but he was
serious, persistent, and determined.
He accomplished many things in life and
became an influential person.
Explanation
world is a trite expression.
The phrase "extremely poor" completes the
sentence best because living hand to mouth is
a
trite expression.
The phrase "spent his life feeling miserable
and
depressed" completes the sentence best
because cried his eyes out is a trite expression.
The phrase "an influential person" completes
the sentence best because one in a million is a
trite expression.
Source: "Envisioning an Abstraction Who Was Also a Man." Art Review. New York Times. New York Times, 25 March 2010. 26
March 2010.
Directions: Each of the statements below is from Tabby's draft contains trite language. Help Tabby
revise these sentences for fresh language.
Influential people are out of this world.
Which sentence should Tabby use in her draft instead?
Influential people are tried and true.
Influential people accomplish extraordinary life tasks.
In this day and age, influential people are extraordinary.
Points:
1 / 1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Only the sentence "Influential people accomplish extraordinary life tasks" contains fresh language. The
expressions "are out of this world," "tried and true," and "in this day and age" are all trite expressions.
Leaders are really awesome people.
Which of the following sentences is the best revision?
Leaders are genuinely positive people who inspire others.
Leaders know how to deal with the hustle and bustle in business.
Leaders work like dogs.
Points:
1 / 1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Only the sentence "Leaders are genuinely positive people who inspire others" contains fresh language.
The word "awesome" and the expressions "work like dogs" and "hustle and bustle" are all trite
expressions.
