Initial Response
The counselor will lead the couple in prayer “and ask God to reveal His will and purpose
for their lives as individual’s and as a couple” (Moitinho and Moitinho, 11). The counselor and
couple will introduce themselves to each. “The first session with the couple or individual will be
primarily consumed by information gathering, initial relationship assessment and relationship
building” (Henry, Figueroa, and Miller, 170). The counselor will “share with the couple the
usual course of counseling related to couples seeking premarital counseling (Henry, Figueroa,
and Miller, 170). The counselor will address issues that couples may be nervous about such as:
“how long the process will take, how much personal information they might have to reveal,
whether they can trust the counselor to maintain confidentiality and what they might expect for a
reasonable outcome. (Henry, Figueroa, and Miller, 170). The counselor will listen carefully as
each partner shares his or her perceptions and feelings (Henry, Figueroa, and Miller, 170). “If
the information is not volunteered” (Henry, Figueroa, and Miller, 170), the counselor will ask the
couple about their Christian commitment, how Jesus Christ relates to their day-to-day life
(Henry, Figueroa, and Miller, 170), what the couple believes God wants for them individually as
well as a couple, and how seriously they take God’s word (Henry, Figueroa, and Miller, 170).
Major Concern’s
Two LU graduates desire to get married but are concerned if they are prepared due to the
divorce of one partner’s parents, their lack of financial stability, and because the other partner’s
desire to cohabitate to ensure their compatibility.
Encouragement
The counselor will encourage the couple regarding the divorce of one partner’s parents by
stating, “that the landscape of marriage and family in the U.S. has changed due to a high rate of
divorce” (Moitinho and Moitinho, 2). However, divorce is not a hereditary disease that is passed
from one’s parents to their children. The author will encourage the couple regarding their lack of
financial stability by suggesting they set SMART Goals to improve their financial situation
(Moitinho and Moitinho, 21). The counselor will ask the couple to “avoid the pitfalls of setting
vague goals or abandoning their goals prematurely” (Moitinho and Moitinho, 21) because vague
goals do not provide specific direction (Moitinho and Moitinho, 2). The author will encourage
the couple not to cohabitate to ensure compatibility because it is not acceptable in the eyes of
God as well as because, “Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an
engagement) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages-and more likely to divorce-than
couples who do not” (Parrott and Parrott, 53). “These negative outcomes are called the
cohabitation effect” (Parrott and Parrott, 53).
Conclude
The author will assign the couple homework to complete by the next counseling session
that includes finding and writing down together all the scripture they can find in the Bible on
why couples should not cohabitate before marriage as well as all the scripture they can find on
how to manage their finances. The counselor will ask the couple to hang up this passage of
scripture in their homes as a reminder that divorce does not have to happen to them because their
parent’s got divorced, “As for his father, because he practiced extortion, robbed his brother and
did what was not good among his people, behold, he will die for his iniquity. Yet you say, ‘Why
should the son not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity?’ When the son has practiced
justice and righteousness and has observed all My statutes and done them, he shall surely
live. The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity,
nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous
will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself “(Ezekiel 18:19-
20). The counselor will pray with the couple and ask the couple to pray together as well.
Bibliography
Henry, Philip J., Lori M. Figueroa, and David R. Miller. The Christian Therapist's Notebook:
Homework, Handouts, and Activities for Use in Christian Counseling. London:
Routledge, 2012.
Moitinho, Elias, and Denise Moitinho. The Dream Home: How to Create an Intimate Christian
Marriage. Dubuque, IA: Kendall Hunt Publishing Company, 2020.
Parrott, Les A. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before -- and
After -- You Marry. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2015.
