LIBERTY UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF DIVINITY
4MAT Book Review: Instructing a Child’s Heart
Submitted to Dr. Dan Burrell,
in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the completion of
DSMN 610– B01
Family Discipleship
by
April D. Brown
June 24, 2021
Content
Abstract…………………………………………………………………………….1-2
Concrete Response………………………………………………………………...2-3
Reflection………………………………………………………………………….3-4
Action………………………………………………………………………………4-5
Bibliography………………………………………………………………………6
iv
Abstract
Instructing a Child’s Heart by Tedd and Margy Tripp is a book that focuses on
“instructing a child’s heart” instead of trying to change their behavior. Tripp and Tripp reason
that “Formative instruction helps our children understand that behavior comes from heart
attitudes.”1This book takes an approach that is quite different from many other parenting books,
it utilizes scripture as the key focus in parental strategies to address the motive behind a child’s
behavior. In reading this book, one can easily reflect on the scripture of Matthew 15:18, “But
what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.”2 Although it is
likely most parents desire what is best for their children and want them to follow in their
Christian values and teachings, parents often address correction of behavior instead of correction
of the heart. Tripp and Tripp offer a statement based on Proverbs 4:23 that explains the
importance of addressing correction of the heart’s attitude, “The heart is like an artesian spring.
All our hopes, dreams, and desires gush from the heart. Every drive for meaning and significance
originates in the heart. Our behavior flows from the heart—it isn’t caused by circumstances or
other people. The heart with its passions and desires, is the wellspring of life.”3
As children are guided through formative instruction to weigh their desires from a
Biblical perspective, only then, will parents begin to see change in the whole child. Children
need to be able to make a connection between what the Bible says and how to apply it to their
lives. The authors explain, “There is an internal dimension to faith that is the Spirit of God
working in the heart. We as parents cannot produce that, but we can provide the “formative
1 Tedd Tripp and Margy Tripp, Instructing a Child’s Heart (Wapwallopen: Shepherd Press, 2008), 58.
2 Unless otherwise noted, all Biblical passages referenced employ the English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL:
Crossway, 2008).
3 Tedd Tripp and Margy Tripp, Instructing a Child’s Heart (Wapwallopen: Shepherd Press, 2008), 51.
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instruction” necessary for children to make the connections between religious words and their
daily reality.”4 Parents must guide their children by applying the truths of the Lord’s Word in
their every day lives. In doing so, children will come to understand and apply Biblical principles
to their lives and choices they will come to know that “the Biblical principle of sowing and
reaping is the principle that God gives for understanding consequences”5 both good and bad.
Children who are not given the formative instruction of using the Bible in correction of
the heart are left to find correction from worldly ways, the authors explain,” In the absence of
biblical formative instruction, secular formative instructors take over. Our hearts are easily
captivated by the hollow and deceptive philosophies of a godless culture (Col. 2:8).”6 Parents
must be aware of the dangers their children face in the absence of Biblical formative instruction.
Parents must lead by example by shining the light of Jesus into their children’s lives. Children
follow the instruction that is given to them, and it has lifelong effects on the position of their
hearts and the choices they make.
Concrete Response
I adopted my nephew who is now eight when he was two years old. I have loved him and
raised him as if he is my very own. Isaiah has had behavioral problems since he was very young,
which I contributed to greatly. I always felt a sense of guilt for him not having his birth parents in
his life, so I gave him anything and everything he asked for. Even when I would say no, he very
quickly learned that a little tantrum would get him just what he wanted. By time he was five I
had an out of control and spoiled child on my hands. I did not know how to deal with him or
even, at the time, how we got to the place we were. I began to try to make changes to influence
4 Tedd Tripp and Margy Tripp, Instructing a Child’s Heart (Wapwallopen: Shepherd Press, 2008), 49.
5 Ibid., 65.
6 Ibid., 15.
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his behavior in the other direction but most of what I tried was a complete failure. I often found
myself either arguing or negotiating with a small child, which ultimately made matters worse. It
was not until he was around six that I finally sought counsel from one of my pastors. I had to
learn a hard truth, that his behavior was a direct result of my inconsistency and lack of Biblical
formative instruction. It was hard at first and still is at times, but the less I responded to him with
yelling or threats, the more he began to listen. I turned my approach to his behavior around and
began to approach his heart. Before it was exhausting simply getting through the day with him,
now we not only read the Bible together, but we talk about it in our everyday conversations, and
he has finally learned how to apply Biblical instruction to his life. He understands that it upsets
God when he misbehaves and he understands that as a child of God, he must lead by example so
that others can see the light of Jesus shine through him. It is still a work in progress, but we have
come so far from where we were through Biblical formative instruction.
Reflection
Instructing a Child’s Heart may bring about a hard truth to many Christian parents who
read it, that their style of parenting is contrary to what the Bible teaches. Modern day Christian
homes have become overrun by worldly discipline and teaching. Society places limits on how to
discipline children and has infiltrated the homes of many Christians. This book does offer a
guide for parents to lead their children through sound Biblical instruction. However, it does lack
any helpful steps that a parent could take in engaging their children with those Biblical
principles. Something that would have been useful is a short set of application methods at the
end of each chapter or even an activity that parents could do with their children to get them
involved.
3
This book would prove useful in any Christian household were parents are looking for a
way to address the core issue of their children’s behavior. It begins with the authors explaining
and emphasizing the importance of parents being the primary influence of their child’s life so
that the world will not be, in chapter one. Beginning with this topic made sense since it is one
that all parents must recognize in order to grasp a desire to effect change in the way they parent
and address issues within their home. In addition to being a useful tool for parents at home, this
book may prove to being a great study for parents in a small group or a church parenting class if
there was a study guide to go along with it.
Action
The first course of action I will take is to begin with my own heart in attempting to guide
my child in the right direction. I must be aware of the temperature and measurement of my own
heart before I can effect change of his heart. I have to make sure my heart and attitude are
reflecting the grace of God for my child to see. I cannot teach him how to measure the
temperature of his heart if I do not know how to measure my own. In working towards achieving
this action step, I will be reminded that raising my voice or becoming frustrated is not the
answer. Also, that it is best for me not to address correction when I do become angry or
overwhelmed but to wait until I have had time to calm down before approaching correction. This
action step will begin immediately.
The second action step I will take is to be more intentional about spending time in the
Lord’s Word with my child and teaching him how to apply it to his heart and life. I often find the
time of the day running out, but I must remember to make the time for discipling to my child. As
the authors said if I do not provide instruction for my child, the world will. By being intentional
about spending time in the Word with my son, I will be creating a family culture that is centered
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around Christ so that Isaiah will grow to disciple to his own children one day. This action step
will begin immediately.
The third action step is to lead by example. Leading by example may be the single most
important action step to be implemented. I cannot expect for my child to resolve conflict in a
graceful manner if I do the opposite. Instead of debating with my son from now on I will provide
a Biblical narrative to the situation in a way he can understand and relate to. Once I am certain he
understands the consequence of his actions, be it good or bad, through this Biblical narrative, I
will allow him the opportunity to make his own decision, which will demonstrate trust and allow
him the chance to make a good decision through Biblical application. Additionally, I must be
reminded that my actions and the attitude of my heart is the example that he is following.
Therefore, I must be intentional in keeping my heart and actions in check by aligning my spirit
with the Lord continuously. This action step will begin immediately.
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