LIBERTY UNIVERSITY BAPTIST THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY
Spiritual Assessment
Submitted to Dr. Donald Hicks
in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the completion of
DSMN 520
Spiritual Formation
by
Noelle Lawing
February 26, 2017
Disciplines
In assessing myself, I entered this contemplation with the idea that I am very lacking in
spiritual discipline. The first discipline I looked at was “hearing God’s word.” Two years ago, the
church I was in, after many years of losing members due to internal conflicts, split completely.
My husband and I did not feel called to follow either faction in the split, and have since been
churchless. I have prayed for the Lord to guide me to the right church but so far I have not
settled. I was raised a Pentecostal Holiness in a greatly spirit filled church and I miss that
feeling. Hopefully we will soon find a church home.
Reading and Studying the Word of God – I will admit that I have never had a strict study
discipline for reading the bible. Being in seminary has found me studying and reaching for the
Bible on a regular basis. However, As far as a daily Bible study, I have nothing regular. For the
first seven years of my school life, we studied the Bible daily, memorizing verses each week. I
would like to return to that, but I have never found a study system that inspired me. I prefer those
that are scholarly and introspective. something along the lines of C S Lewis writings.
Memorizing God’s word is something I have done for much of my life. As a child, at both
school and Sunday school we memorized many verses. These have been a great comfort to me ,
particularly recently in the loss of my mother. Even though I am not a regular Bible reader, I
often will open my Bible and randomly pick a verse to memorize.
Meditation is something that I have practiced a long time. I was not able to do regular
physical exercise as a child so I learned yoga as a way to get exercise. In later years, the
meditation that comes with that practice found me talking to God and contemplating his word.
While there were years that I drifted from God and sought other religions, I came back to Christ
10 years ago and have resumed my meditations with God. Some many of my fellow Christians
do not understand this, and worry that I am getting involved in cult practices. However, I never
feel closer to God than when in prayer or meditation.
As for prayers, this is one discipline that practice continuously. When a friend posts a
problem or good news on Facebook, I pray and praise to God. Even night before bed I spend
time in prayers, and I use a pattern that I learned from reading Dr Dobson (Focus on the Family).
I also have a prayer diary I keep so that not only do I not forget anyone during prayers, I can
follow up with them and see how they are doing. Prayer is an important part of my life.
My evangelism and serving God I feel run together. I have a personal project that my
husband and I do. We create packs with trial size hygiene products, some non perishables,
snacks, water and a McDonald’s gift card. I also include a couple of tracts, as well as a personal
note from myself, asking the recipient to eventually pay this forward. As another part of service
to God, I try to keep my household’s footprint to the minimal amount. I feel that protecting the
environment and using resources responsibly is part of being the custodian of the earth , which is
a service to God. I also look for the chance to speak of Christ whenever possible, whether it’s
wishing a clerk a “blessed day” to comforting a stranger in a hospital emergency room.
In the past years we have had some severe financial problems, so I have not been able to tithe
regularly like I have in the past. However, I try to volunteer time and donate clothes and
household items to local Christian thrift shops. As my life settles down, and I gain a regular
income I plan on tithing once more.
Temptations
Like any other human I have had my share of temptations. I do find, that as I grow older,
both in Christ and in physical age, that resisting many temptations are easier. Worldly things no
longer hold importance and simplicity is something I crave. My worst temptations come in my
lowest points. For example , my husband and I are living very tight right now, I am starting a job
in March but in the meantime we have had no income. A few weeks ago, we were facing light
bill and no money for it or groceries. I had prayed and prayed and with the debt date drawing
closer, I could not see any help. Instead of trusting in the Lord to provide as he always has, I
succumbed to the temptation of applying for quick loans online. After rejection after rejections
(thank goodness) I realized that giving into this temptation was the same as saying that I thought
God couldn’t handle it. I stopped right there and not only prayed for forgiveness; but also
pledged that I would not fill out another application. A couple of days later a good friend offered
help out of the blue. The Lord is good.
There are the daily temptations that plague us all, getting some extra sleep time instead of
studying for school; going out with friends and partying when you know that such display is
unseemly. However, I have adopted two ways of combating temptations- first praying and
pledging myself not to what is so tempting. I don’t make promises to God lightly. I quit smoking
by promising God I would not take another cigarette into my lungs. In seven years I have not
broken that promise. The second thing is to remind myself that God is watching all the time and
that we should only do those things that would please him.
Blind Spot and Weaknesses
I know I’m fortunate not to have alcohol, drug or even tobacco addictions—these are
serious weaknesses that are a daily struggle. However, I have anxiety issues which at times find
me unable to even move from my chair. Fortunately God has seen fit to send me to a good
doctor who has worked with me and through medication and therapy has helped me overcome a
lot. When things are bad I still find myself going into that panic mode, and I have to remind
myself that God will help me through it all- both the anxiety and the reason for it. My blind spot
correlates with this as I have always felt I had to do everything on my own, be totally
independent. It is hard to remember that I have God on my side and that he doesn’t mind
fighting these battles.
I know I do not walk as spiritually close as I should, my other weakness is always having
to do something that seems more important than reading the Bible or studying. This is wrong
thinking and I know I need to overcome it, but its so hard when there are so many demands.
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