Forgiving and reconciling through empathy, according to Ripley and Worthington (2014), is a
forgiveness-based intervention used in conjunction with the hope-focused couple approach. The
FREE model consists of seven elements. The authors discovered that the more time spent trying
to forgive others, the more forgiveness an individual will experience over time. While
forgiveness treatments are effective with adults and adolescents, they are unreliable with children
under the age of eleven or twelve. One way to get a child ready for forgiveness as they get older
is to teach them how to apologize (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).
Unforgiveness, according to Ripley (2014), may cause a number of physiological concerns as
well as a rise in mental health problems like anxiety, anger, depression, PTSD, and other possible
conditions. According to the authors, couples can benefit from a forgiveness intervention as well,
but if the offending partner continues to take advantage of the forgiving partner, the intervention
may not be beneficial. Also, the authors mentioned that religious and non-religious people are
about the same when it comes to being able to forgive themselves, but religious people believe
they can forgive themselves more than non-religious people (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).
The FREE Intervention was developed to assist couples in working through the processes of
forgiveness and reconciliation. The authors provided four steps in which the forgiveness and
reconciliation through empathy Model can be applied in marital relationships. These steps are
decision, discussion, detoxification, and devotion. When couples decides they want to get back
together, they plan on how and when that will happen. The next step is to discuss how to
confront the alleged offender for an explanation and a strong confession. The detoxification step
entails finding a way to get rid of whatever caused any distance. Last but not least, the couple
demonstrates their devotion by considering ways to strengthen their union through affection and
dedication (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).
The REACH forgiveness technique is employed in the second step of the FREE intervention to
assist a person in obtaining emotional forgiveness. The REACH model involves remembering
the harm that was done to a person in an objective way, using empathy to try to see things from
the offender's point of view, finding an act of kindness after the wrongdoer has been forgiven,
promising to forgive the offender in public, and holding on to forgiveness by not forgetting the
harm that was done but remembering that the choice was made to forgive (Ripley &Worthington,
2014).
In reviewing the FREE Model, I will say that one aspect I think is the most powerful is the stress
and coping theory of forgiveness. There are pressures that impact all facets of one's life when a
scenario that one cannot handle develops. Stressors may be mild or severe, but the appraisal of
the stressor is of greater importance than its severity. A lack of ability to work through the pain
and learn to cope and forgive is a difficult concept that many people are unaware of. It is never
simple to deal with the stress of being hurt, but as the authors noted, employing healthy coping
strategies like giving the situation up to God for divine justice and embracing the unfairness one
can encounter in life can boost resilience and foster greater forgiveness. Also, when the person
can figure out what hurts them and seek justice or an apology, they can handle the stress reaction
better and get back to normal faster (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).
Reference
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach.
