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GENOGRAM PAPER
Genogram Paper Assignment
Amy R. Jacobs
School of Behavioral Sciences, Liberty University
Dr. Benjamin Schoening
September 19, 2022
Author Note
Amy R. Jacobs
Department of Counseling Education and Family Studies, Liberty University
1971 University Blvd, Lynchburg, VA 24515
I have no known conflicts of interest to disclose.
Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Amy R. Jacobs.
Email: ajacobs19@liberty.edu
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Abstract
In this paper I, Amy Jacobs, as the index person, will provide evidence of my genealogy
of my family and immediate husbands family and our backgrounds. This will include different
parts of my family including my maternal side and my paternal side. My marriage to my husband
of 21 years and our children will be included. Along with the support of a genogram for the
professor to follow and examine. This will discuss my family life cycle, issues that my family
have faced and what I have discovered throughout my family history so far. Finally, I will
discuss how I can use my findings to better myself as a mother, wife, and future counselor.
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Genogram Paper Assignment
In providing this information one can see that I have a big family. My mother and father
both suffer from diabetes and heart problems. My grandparents on my mothers side also suffered
from diabetes and obesity. My father’s parents passed away form old age. I have one brother
with no health issues. My husband of 21 years has a brother who passed away in 2015 who
abused drugs due to PTSD from the Gulf War, and he has one sister. Both his parents have no
health issues.
I grew up on a farm in lower Delaware. We raised chickens, pigs and my father farmed
for a living. When I was 12 my parents started a furniture business. I grew up in a Christian
home going to church each week, multiple times. It was a fairly normal household as my parents
never divorced and have been married for 51 years. We would be considered a middle-class
income family as my parents have always been self-employed. My father has always handled
situations by turning to God but in the past few years he has struggled with health issues and has
not attended church on many years. My parents and I have a good relationship and they enjoy
visiting with our two children.
It was not until I married my husband that a different culture was entered into our family.
My husband is part Indian and has traveled around with the Army to bring a multi-cultural
perspective into my life. This has opened my eyes to traveling more with our family and to see
the world. His parents divorced when he turned 15 years old, they both remarried. He was
shipped place to place over the next few years as he lived with his mother and stepfather. His
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step father was in the air force and stationed in Germany for two years. When he turned 18 years
old, he enrolled in the United States Army and served for three years. His brother also served in
the Army and went to war and come home with PTSD, turned to drugs due to having to kill
another person. He was murdered on March 27, 2015. His mother was never the same after that
day and she continues to struggle with depression. It has not been an easy road that our family
has endured but one of trials and tribulations that we have gone through together as a family
have brought us closer together. My husband and I are united in our beliefs and rely on God to
help us raise God-fearing children.
All of my grandparents are deceased, and I miss them terribly. I was very close with my
maternal and paternal grandparents to the point that I would see them each week. I was able to
share many things with my grandmothers and they would lend a listening ear when I need
someone to listen to me. It was a sad time to see the end of life come but I know that they are in
heaven with God and they are waiting for me. I was also close with my husband’s grandmother.
She was only his step-grandmother, but she meant the world to us. She taught us to love and
even though we were not blood related it did not matter to her, as we were considered her
grandchildren. I believe that God put her in my life for the better and to be able to learn things
from her. She did not get to meet our children, but I am sure would have loved them too.
I do not currently have a good relationship with my husband’s mother, but I do get along
with his stepmother. After my husband’s brother passed away it was hard for anyone to get close
to his mother and she choose to push everyone away. It is a hard thing to not be able for our
children to share their early years of growing up without their paternal grandmother but that is
her decision to stay distant and not be in their lives.
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I feel that my context within my multigenerational family that I am a unique individual
created by God and to serve God. I should not compare myself with others in my family because
we all have strengths and differences that we bring into our family. We should not try to be like
other people because that could hinder the family dynamics as a whole. I also understand that I
am a daughter, granddaughter, cousin, niece, mother, and wife. I do see that my side of the
family is more connected then my husband’s side.
I feel that even though our family has gone through many deaths and the murder of my
brother-in-law we are resilient in that we rely on God and His purpose for our lives. It is through
these trials that we are strengthened and that we need to rely on God. The more trials that we are
tested with the more we should stand on God’s word and His grace to get us through those times.
Over the generations on my family life cycle we see that the majority of the family suffers from
diabetes and obesity. Throughout my husband’s generations we see divorce and remarriage many
times over. Even through the change of the murder of my brother-in-law we see that it changed
my mother-in-law’s life completely and she has never recovered.
The traumas that we have experienced through my grandparents passing and my
husband’s grandparents passing we leaned into each other as we were in a life cycle of families
with young children (Goldenberg et al., 2017). We had two young children to care for and when
my grandparents passed away it was hard to grieve with them needing our care. We had to rely
on each other to get through those first few months without our grandparents. Whereas my
mother-in-law was in a life cycle of families in late middle age life cycle. She was maintaining
functioning of her sons living away from her and having their own lives, but when my brother-
in-law was murdered, she reverted back into the launching children and moving into middle age
life cycle (Goldenberg et al., 2017).
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As far as gender beliefs my father shows no emotion, but my husband is not afraid to
show emotion. It is the Baby Boomer generation and I remember that my grandparents also did
not show much emotion, nor did they say the words “I love you” very often. Whereas Generation
X, my generation were all about showing emotions. Genograms show us the power of patterns
within our families and connect them together (McGoldrick et al., 2008). It also changes the way
we look at our families and the joining of our families.
The intergenerational dynamic and patterns that have a profound impact on our family is
that it is mostly negative. My father does not want me to be attending school at all, nor did he
want my husband to attain his degree from Liberty. It has been a struggle with my father to
understand that we need to prepare for the future of our family. This negative pattern has been
broken with me as a generation of just following through with the family business and this has
led me to know that God opened the doors for me to attend Liberty University and to get my
master’s degree in clinical mental health. For this reason, I am leaning on God’s divinity and
with the support of my husband and children have been able to achieve this goal. It is not easy to
see my father each day and to know that he is not supporting me in this college adventure. I
would still say we are a close family but with my father he is so negative that I can achieve my
goal of becoming a counselor it hurts me so much.
The areas that I need to work on in order to become a better spouse are to be supportive
of my husband and in becoming ordained. This has been his goal for the last few years. I have to
make sure as he has supported me with attaining my college degree that I also support him in his
pursuing God’s plan for his life. As far as becoming a more supportive parent would be that I am
present with my children. Currently my son will be starting driver’s education nest week and it is
such a big commitment to make sure that he is able to attend online classes. Also, that we are
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able to afford a car for him so that he will be able to attain all the hours that Delaware requires
for new licensed drivers. I also have a 10-year-old daughter and she is understanding about all
my hours for internship. I am so blessed with my husband and children for their support of me
going to college and being in internship.
In the area of becoming a counselor would be to learn all I am able to learn throughout
this process of attaining my degree. It is such a commitment for my whole family to be willing
for me to get my internship hours, this takes a lot of time away from my children. I have to
remind myself that it is only for a season. I graduate in May of 2023 so just a few months and all
this sacrifice will have been worth the price of a few missed hours spent with my children. I
thank God daily that they are willing to forgo some time with me, time that I have taken for
internship hours instead of spending those hours with them. I also try to read and take test after
they go to bed and that way, I do get some time with them at night. The last area that I need
work on being a godly person are making sure that I am in God’s word each day. I need to stay
focused on what God wants for my family and I as we grow through this season in my life. It is
so important for me to stay grounded in self-care as I am running around like a crazy person
some days trying to get everything finished. Getting that ten-minute break each day that I am
able to meditate and focus on what I need to accomplish for the day helps me stay focused and
on track.
In conclusion, some personal reflections that I have noticed while doing this assignment
is that I must make time for me. The main thing is making time with my children so as not to get
overwhelmed with school work, internship hours, and my normal job. Self-care is the main thing
that I want to learn how to manage all the issues that come with internship, work and family
time. The main issue that came into the light of this assignment would be that I have to let
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perceptions of my father and what he thinks about me going to school in the back of my mind. I
have to focus on what is best for my family in this life cycle that we are in not what my father
thinks I should be doing. By recognizing generational boundaries and maintaining those
boundaries within our family is essential to the growth of our family (Goldenberg et al., 2017).
Illness has become a prat of my parents’ life and they have to understand that what they need to
do now is to take care of themselves and let me live my life. These health issues have affected
our whole family dynamic and not for the better. It has caused negative feelings within the
family structure and it is something that I personally am trying to set those boundaries and stick
to them. This is the first time that I have had to make boundaries with my parents, and it has not
been easy to do but it is something that I have to do for my family’s well-being. I feel that I have
learned so much from this assignment and I am grateful that I am able to see the progress of the
boundaries that I have made for our family.
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Reference
Goldenberg, I., Stanton, M., & Goldenberg, H. (2017). Family therapy: An overview (9th ed.).
Cengage Learning.
McGoldrick, M., Gerson, R., & Petry, S. (2008). Genograms: Assessment and intervention
(3rd ed.). W.W. Norton and Company.
