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In Chapter 21 of the Ripley & Worthington textbook, the FREE model is discussed. Briefly
explain the FREE model in your thread and describe at least 1 aspect of the model that you
appreciate and why. You may or may not decide to use outside sources to support your
argument.
The FREE intervention is a complex intervention that helps couples both
forgive and reconcile. The reconciliation occurs in four steps:
1. Decision: Should we reconcile, and if so, when and how?
2. Discussion: How do we ask the other person to explain something that
seems to have been wrongdoing, and how do we make a good confession?
3. Detoxification: How do we remove the poison from a period of estrangement that might have
gone on for years?
4. Devotion: How do we build positive love and devotion into the relationship?
The REACH forgiveness model walks people through a five-step method of forgiving.
Stress-and-coping theory of forgiveness. The FREE and REACH forgiveness methods are based
on a stress-and-coping theory of forgiveness. The theory has four parts: stressors, appraisals,
stress reactions and coping mechanisms.
Appraisals. People appraise those stressors for (a) the degree of threat or
challenge they bring and (b) the size of the injustice gap that must be dealt
with. The strength of a person’s response to a stressor depends on whether
it is seen as a threat—that is, whether it has inflicted or has the potential to
inflict physical or psychological harm.
Stress reactions. On the basis of a threat appraisal and a fairly large injustice gap, the person
might experience a stress reaction of freezing, fleeing
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or fighting. Furthermore, negative emotions of fear, anger and sadness can
attend the stress reaction. People might be motivated to be vengeful or
avoidant if they are threatened.
Coping responses. The person tries to cope with the injustice, adjust the
appraisals or deal with the stress reaction using the coping skills and support
system that he or she has available. The person might reduce the injustice
gap by seeking an apology or restitution, justice, or revenge. The efforts are
aimed mostly at restoring a balance of justice. If he or she is able to deal with
the stress reaction effectively, the person returns to a normal state. Sadly,
that is not always the case.
REACH forgiveness model. Teaching the model to each partner using hurts he or she
experienced prior to meeting the other.
R - Recall the event. It is important for people to accurately and honestly
remember the offense. E- Empathize with the offender. To forgive, recall that positive emotions
must replace negative unforgiveness. A- Altruistic gift. Forgiveness is characterized as an
altruistic gift. Humility is one of the parts of this principle. C- Commit to Forgive. It solidifies
the experience and also helps people maintain forgiveness if the partners make some kind of
commitment to forgiveness. H: Hold on to Forgiveness. Forgiveness is an emotional event in an
ongoing relationship. Once offered and committed to, then it is highly likely that events will
ensue in the future that will cause strong feelings to recur.
I like this aspect of this model Two types of forgiveness: Decisional and emotional. There are
two separate types of forgiveness. They are related to each other but can occur separately. One is
a decision to forgive, to treat the person as a valued human and not to seek retaliation. Decisional
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forgiveness might be made in all sincerity and yet the person might still feel unforgiving. The
decision to forgive is genuine and is what God really wants of us—a volitional resolution about
how we will behave. We cannot always control our emotions. We have much more ability to
control our behavioral intentions. The second type of forgiveness is emotional forgiveness, which
is usually slower to develop and occurs when a person replaces the unforgiveness by forgiving
emotions like empathy, sympathy, compassion, and love for the other person.
The forgiving and reconciling through experiencing empathy (FREE) model is a forgiveness-
based intervention with the hope-focused couple approach (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). Using
decades of research, the authors discovered that the more time a person spends trying to forgive
others, the more forgiveness they will experience. A forgiveness intervention can work with
couples, but it may not be successful if the offending partner continues to take advantage of the
forgiving partner (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). Although forgiveness interventions are
successful with adolescents to adults, they are unreliable for children under 11 or 12. Teaching a
child how to apologize can prepare them for forgiveness as they grow older (Ripley &
Worthington, 2014).
The FREE intervention has four steps. First, the couple decides to reconcile and determines how
and when the reconciliation will occur. Next, they discuss how to approach the perceived
wrongdoer for an explanation and determine how they can make a good confession. The next
step, detoxification, involves identifying a method of removing the cause of any distancing that
could have occurred over several years. Finally, the couple practices devotion by determining
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how to include encouraging love and commitment into their relationship (Ripley & Worthington,
2014).
The second step of the FREE intervention uses REACH forgiveness to help an offended person
obtain emotional forgiveness. The REACH model involves objectively recalling the hurt done to
a person, using empathy to try to understand the viewpoint of the offender, identifying an
altruistic incident when the offended person has been forgiven, committing to publicly forgive
the wrongdoer, and holding on to forgiveness by not forgetting the hurt that was done but
remembering the choice was made to forgive (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). The stress-and-
coping theory of forgiveness is the basis for the FREE and REACH methods, and this theory
involves stressors, appraisal, stress reactions, and coping mechanisms (Ripley & Worthington,
2014).
I believe the stress-and-coping theory is an essential part of the FREE model and can help
produce forgiveness if the offender and the offended person recognize the various components.
Stressors may be less or considerably severe, but evaluating the stressor is more important than
the severity. Appraising the severity of the stressor can help the person determine if the threat
can inflict physical or mental injury. When a person feels threatened, their reaction to the danger
may include freezing, fleeing, or fighting. Negative emotions can increase the stress reaction
and cause a person to be resentful or avoidant.
How the person copes with the injustice can determine if they can forgive. When the person can
identify the hurt and seek an apology or justice, they can deal with the stress reaction more
effectively and return to a normal state quicker. Unforgiveness may lead to several physiological
problems and increased mental health issues (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). Healthy coping
methods, such as accepting that life is unfair at times or turning the matter over to God for divine
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justice, can increase resilience and lead to greater forgiveness (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).
This is important because it involves deciding to forgive and slowly coming to emotional
forgiveness by replacing unforgiveness with healthy emotions such as empathy, compassion,
sympathy, and love for one another. After choosing to forgive, a person may still feel
unforgiving, but the decision is genuine and what God wants us to do (Ripley & Worthington,
2014).
Reference
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach.
Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
