COUC 601 DB1
INSTRUCTIONS: Identify and describe which stage your family is currently
experiencing from the “Family Life Cycle Framework” in Chapter 2. What are the
benefits and deficits connected to this stage?
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DB1 POST: A few years ago, I was at the “joining of families through
marriage” stage of the family life cycle framework according to Goldenberg,
Stanton, & Goldenberg (2016). Unfortunately, my experiencing this life stage came
to a halt due to finding myself in an abusive marriage. The trauma of this ended the
union and I suddenly found myself going in a direction that felt backwards as I
divorced. For a short time, I was living at home with my parents again and launching
back out into life as an “emerging young adult,” but now it was almost a decade
after my initial emergence in my late teens. This created some feelings of isolation
as my 3 younger siblings were all newly married and starting their journey into
parenthood. This meant that my childhood family unit was making many
adjustments as they welcomed new members and my own parents entered
becoming grandparents.
It is now several years later, and I am again starting the “coupling”
(Goldenberg, Stanton, & Goldenberg, 2016) with prayers of continuing forward into
“remarriage and reconstruction of the family,” possibly with the man I have been
dating. According to our textbook, the “family life cycle evolves in stages, rather
than a smooth and orderly flow of growth” (Goldenberg, Staton, & Goldenberg,
2016). My adult life stage advancement has certainly not been a simple straight
line. This is compounded as the man I have been dating for some time now creates
another dynamic in this family life cycle framework. He is several years older than
me, with a teenage daughter he is getting ready for her own emerging young adult
stage. Our being in different stages and yet starting our own family dynamic after
both previously being further forward in this process, creates its own challenges. We
have very different experiences, and we bring all of those to the table in our very
own unique collaboration of understanding life together.
Benefits of my current life cycle stage includes the idea that we have
experienced quite a bit of life already and this brings some wisdom of its own. If I
look at the young women, I was a decade ago, she was getting ready to get married
and was very blind to the many things that maybe should never have been
tolerated. Along with wisdom, my significant other and I are also coming into this
relationship with a lot of knowledge of who we are as individuals, not just as a
couple. I am very confident in who I have become, what I am looking for in a
relationship, and what I am willing to tolerate. I know he also comes to a
COUC 601 DB1
relationship with similar standards as well both spent some years single, working on
us as individuals.
Deficits that come from my current life cycle similarly reflect the benefits.
Wisdom comes from sometimes hard life experiences. These bring their own trauma
and baggage. For me, I have had a previous unhealthy marriage, so I am highly
alert to things that may trigger me or appear similar in any way. The man I am
dating likewise has had many of his own life experiences which can bring baggage
as well as balancing an almost adult child relationship which brings more contact
with his ex-relationship compared to mine as he manages co-parenting additionally.
Though this journey has been a challenging one, mine is in a life cycle stage
which brings much excitement and hope for the future. As I spend much time in
prayer and counsel with other, more mature believers who mentor us in this
process, I hope to continue forward. The many lessons that have been learned have
made me who I am today and given me another level of empathy when working
with patients in my current human service profession.
Reference
Goldenberg, I., Stanton, M., & Goldenberg, H. (2016). Family Therapy: An
Overview (9th ed.). Cengage Learning
US. https://mbsdirect.vitalsource.com/books/9781305855649
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