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In Chapter one of Allender’s “To Be Told,” he states that “If we’re taking a
course, “we’re willing to study books that bore us to pieces, but we won't take time to review our
own life, which holds answers about God and ourselves that will thrill us, amaze us, and sober
us.” I believe that this is an interesting statement and as I reflect on my own life’s experiences, I
am reminded of those same certain moments that have transpired for me.
A moment in my life that has thrilled me, would be in my younger age when I was
first met my now husband. At the time that we first started to date, my husband lived in another
state from, at least three hundred miles away. Long distance dating was hard, but we made it
work. He would make spontaneous, surprise trips to visit me, and I would take trips to see him as
often as I could. This was a thrilling time for me, because I never experienced a love like this
before. It was exciting, refreshing and genuine. The relationship kept me on my toes. There was
always something new to experience and to expect. We were young and carefree, and nothing
else mattered but our love for one another, and that was thrilling.
There has been several moments in my life that have amazed me, but one in particular
would be me pursuing my master's degree. I completed my bachelor's degree in 2012. I knew I
wanted to pursue a master’s degree, but I had a lot of responsibilities to take care of. I was a new
wife and I wanted to start growing my family. As a result, the master’s degree went on the back
burner. Fast forward to ten years later, my children are all older and in school, and I stepped on
faith and applied for the master's degree program at Liberty and get accepted. At the start of the
program, I was scared, and a little intimidated. I had to familiarize myself with a lot of new
things and get myself back accustomed to studying and completing assignments in a timely
manner. Now, I am two years in, almost at the end of my degree and I have a 3.8 GPA. To say
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that I am amazed at my own ability is an understatement. I am amazed at my strength to endure
the hardships that have taking place throughout this process. I am still a full-time wife and
mother through this entire journey. I am amazed at my desire to pursue this passion. I am also
amazed my ability to obtain the information that has been taught to me. I am so glad I didn’t give
up; I am so glad I believed in myself.
A sobering moment in my life will have to be when I became a First Lady. I have been in
church all of my life, I have seen a lot of things and experienced even more. I haven’t always
done what was right, I failed at a lot of things as well, but I never left God and He never walked
away from me. So, when my husband and I took on these leading roles four years ago, it was a
sobering moment. I had to laid aside a lot of things I was still battling with, I laid aside my
thoughts and feelings, and pursued the will of God. A lot of things, people and places I could not
entertain anymore, especially if it didn’t align with my assignment. Many aren’t aware that the
duties of First Lady go beyond the church walls, we are behind the scenes making sure we are
covering our husbands in prayer, making sure the needs of the church are taken care of. It goes
beyond a title, it’s a lifestyle. I am still learning and growing daily. But I am definitely not the
person I was before.
Allender also states that in order to understand our personal stories we must, “consider
the various characters – both major and minor – who makes an appearance in our lives. Allender
also points out that the major characters of parents come with their own stories that are often
passed onto children. This statement intrigued me the most because just recently I was sitting
discussing and reflecting with my mother, particularly about her childhood. It brought on
different set of emotions.
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My mother grew up in a two-parent household, she is the fourth child out of six. Her
father went to work everyday, he held a really good job and brought home more than enough
money to take care of large family, but he decided to do otherwise. Which left my grandmother,
my mother and her siblings left to suffer. They would go without a lot of things, adequate
housing, food, and clothing. Not because they couldn’t afford these essentials but because my
grandfather would mishandle his money and do other things that pleased him instead of taking
care of is family. My mom shared stories of times of abuse ad it pertains to my grandmother by
the hands of my grandfather, and moments of shame, for instance when my uncle had to wear the
same pair of pants for a year straight. Another moment when the sheriff’s department came to
evict them and her and siblings were at home alone. My grandmother, my mother and siblings
experienced a lot, but they still had love and unity. My grandmother was big on love and unity.
She loved her family. My grandmother remained married to my grandfather even through all of
the struggles and hardships. Although my grandmother decided to remain with my grandfather.
She gained a sense of independence in a way, she went to night school, secured a job and a safe
home and she was then able to provide for her children. She took up the slack for my
grandfather. I do believe that my mother and her siblings are all emotionally damaged by their
childhood. My mother has a lot of unresolved trauma and hurt. She holds resentment in her heart
for some things that she saw take place and her personal relationships have been affected. My
mother has made it her life’s mission to not accept the bare minimum from anyone. She never
exposed my sister and I to mistreatment by anyone. She protected us and cares for us deeply. I
am able to witness a strong, resilient, independent woman today. She is a successful business
owner, she’s happy, healthy, and saved. She has suffered a lot, but she is also an overcomer, she’s
a survivor. Allender, got it correct, I am because she is.
