Benchmark Attitudes and Beliefs Reflection Paper
Taylor Davis
School of Behavioral Science, Liberty University
Couc 501-B05: Ethical and Legal Issues in Counseling
Professor Joseph Cook
September 1, 2024
Abstract: There are many issues in counseling sessions that can unknowingly cause bias and
ethical dilemmas. Three that stood out to me were abortion, same-sex relationships, and
aggressive men. While each of these provide their own set of challenges, each provides an
opportunity for me to grow as an individual and a counselor.
Counseling often poses discords between the counselor and the client. While the APA
code of ethics demands that counselors push past these differences to offer effective
counseling, there are issues that I am still struggling to push past. As a student, I understand the
importance of working through these now as opposed to in a clinical office. The following three
examples offer a situation, a description, and an explanation of improvement for some
counseling issues that I have found difficult to address according to the Attitudes and Beliefs
Inventory.
Reaction
The first question that I found difficult to answer was the question about counseling a
woman who has already made the decision to get an abortion. While I felt like I would be
somewhat comfortable counseling her, it made me realize that I have not fully processed my
personal feelings on the matter. In my past, I have made the same decision. I never received
counseling and it took me ten years to come to terms with the choice I made. Rodriguez (2023)
conducted a study which found that it takes on average five years to determine if an individual
will be proud of or ashamed of their abortion decision. Now I have three children, which makes
the wound left by choices in my past that much deeper. While I have made the same choice as
the woman seeking counseling, her decision goes against my current beliefs on abortion.
Response
I learned the value of life when I eliminated a life that God gave me. I suppressed my
feelings for many years in fear of dealing with them. It wasn’t until I married my husband that
he pushed me to process my grief. While I did not seek counseling, I did talk through my feelings
with my sister, my sister-in-law, and my close friend. A few years later, God spoke to me in a
church service and gave me a vision. It wasn’t until after that happened that I was able to
understand that I was forgiven.
Having three children also helped me form the belief that abortion is wrong. My son was
born in the hospital in the middle of Covid-19 after a very difficult and long labor. While I know I
saw God’s goodness in the hospital that day, the homebirths of my next two children showed
me His grace. I gained a new understanding of how beautiful the process of labor and delivery
is, how God created the human body to completely alter for the purpose of new life, and how
He breathes that first breath into these tiny babies. Most notably, my last pregnancy came with
complications. She had some health issues that caused the specialists to have a conversation
about the possibility of still birth or abortion. Immediately, I knew that abortion was not an
option. By the next appointment, she was showing that she was perfectly healthy, like nothing
was ever wrong. I believe God healed her body because of the trust my husband and I placed in
Him.
Action
I have some work to do before I counsel people on the issue of abortion. I know that I
still have unresolved feelings about my past decisions because I get emotional when I talk about
it, so I should seek counseling to fully process things. Professionally, showing emotion in a
clinical setting is not best practice. Additionally, I need to work on being able to separate my
own experiences from the client’s experiences. While I might not agree with the decision to
abort a baby, I need to make sure I counsel based on the client without imposing my own
feelings or beliefs.
There is also a huge controversy in the United States of America about abortions being
legal. Balsam (2023) discusses the concern of back-alley abortions and government control on
women’s bodies. While I believe this is worth addressing, there should be a clear separation
when it comes to counseling. Government policies should only interfere so much, with personal
beliefs and policies interfering even less.
Reaction
The second question I had difficulty answering was the situation regarding a student
wanting to tell her parents that she is a lesbian. I responded that I would be somewhat
uncomfortable counseling this young lady. I do not agree with same-sex relationships. I believe
that God created man and woman to be together, as is stated in the Bible. Also, as a parent, I
would be upset if I was paying for my child to go to a counselor only for the counselor to help
them be bolder in a decision that I don’t agree with from the start. It makes more sense to me
for the child to talk to the parent and then both the student and parent can get counseling
together if there is an issue moving forward.
Response
I have disagreed with same- sex relationships since I got married. I used to not care who
other people were with, and to an extent I still don’t. I have friends that are gay, and I love them
just as much as my straight friends. However, the closer I get to God, the more I feel convicted
by those relationships.
When I was growing up with a single mom, her best friends were a lesbian couple. It
seemed like we did everything with them. I remember watching Harry Potter at their house for
the first time and they always helped me grow my collection of vintage M&M machines.
However, when my mom got married, that relationship ended. I did not understand that until
later in my life. I believe there was a conviction in my mom’s life or possibly my stepdad.
Ultimately, I believe there was an incongruence in that relationship and the new one between
my mother and stepdad.
Action
While I believe it is not my place to judge another individual’s sin, it is acceptable for me,
as a Christian, to disagree with that lifestyle. However, as a counselor, it is not acceptable for me
to voice that. I should work on supporting love no matter what gender it involves. Additionally, I
feel like I need to address my immediate assumption that everyone is in a straight relationship.
Be it my Christian background or my small-town mindset, it is important for me to understand
that the world is changing. Professionally, I need to make sure I do not appear surprised or
confused when an individual comes to me for same-sex counseling. I should not be dismissive or
unsupportive when a teenager wants advice on coming out to her parents. One study found
that lesbian and gay relationships have no difference in relationship quality and satisfactions
than straight couples have (Sommantico et al., 2019)
Reaction
The final question I had a difficult time answering was the question about counseling a
man convicted of domestic violence. While other questions about counseling men involved in
sexual situations made me uncomfortable, this one topped the charts of uncomfortability. I am
comfortable talking to men, but I have a hard time talking to men who have hurt women or
children. This went against my belief for women, women’s rights, and family systems. Nobody is
perfect, sure. However, someone who is willing to hurt a physically weaker individual has a hard
time earning my respect.
Response
I was raised in an unstable household. While I did not know my father until I was in my
mid-twenties, I had two other father figures in my life. The first one, my younger sister’s father,
was aggressive towards my mother. Dinner almost always ended when they started yelling. My
two sisters and I were responsible for putting ourselves to bed while they fought. Then, when I
woke up in the middle of the night to the yelling, I was always called downstairs to determine
the victor. As a seven-year-old, that was difficult to do. When we woke up in the morning to
catch the school bus, it was implied that you ignored the police cars in the driveway and just
went to school. One study found that many women find it difficult to talk about domestic
violence situations with emergency providers (Rhodes et al., 2007). Therefore, it is not
surprising that my mother had a hard time breaking away from this man.
Many years later, my mom remarried. While he attended church, he was verbally
aggressive towards me, and often imposed his aggressiveness towards my older sister. It never
sat well with me. To this day, I take my precautions when I am around him. My husband is my
protector, with God protecting all of us. I could not be more thankful for that. Seeing my
husband protect our daughters and even our son has taught me what safety in parents looks
like. He is an incredible dad. I know my daughters will always be protected while he is around.
Action
I have much work to do in the area of domestic abuse. I need to be able to treat my
clients with respect, regardless of their personal decisions. It is not up to me to convict the
client; God is the ultimate judge. My job, as a counselor, is to guide the client through their
mind and thoughts, hoping and praying for a positive outcome at the end of our time together. I
need to remember that it is not my job to change a man, or woman, who is violent. It is my job
to bring attention to the hopeful discord between their actions and their heart.
I fear that the rate of domestic violence has only grown since the onset of Covid-19.
Many women and men who were once able to leave during the day to attend a job have since
been stripped of that responsibility. They are now forced to stay home with violent partners. Job
losses and financial strain could add to the increasing risk of domestic violence (Anurudran et
al., 2020).
References
Anurudran, A., Yared, L., Comrie, C., Harrison, K. and Burke, T. (2020), Domestic violence amid
COVID-19. Int J Gynecol Obstet, 150: 255-256. https://doi.org/10.1002/ijgo.13247
Balsam, R. H. (2023). Abortion. Contemporary Psychoanalysis, 59(1–2), 125–141.
https://doi.org/10.1080/00107530.2023.2258062
Rhodes, K. V., Frankel, R. M., Levinthal, N., Prenoveau, E., Bailey, J., & Levinson, W. (2007).
“You’re Not a Victim of Domestic Violence, Are You?” Provider–Patient Communication
about Domestic Violence. ANNALS OF INTERNAL MEDICINE., 147(9), 620–627.
https://doi.org/10.7326/0003-4819-147-9-200711060-00006
Rodriguez, C. (2023). Abortion. AJN, American Journal of Nursing, 123 (2), 11-11. doi:
10.1097/01.NAJ.0000919632.97099.77.
Sommantico, M., Donizzetti, A. R., Parrello, S., & De Rosa, B. (2019). Gay and lesbian couples’
relationship quality: Italian validation of the Gay and Lesbian Relationship Satisfaction
Scale (GLRSS). Journal of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health, 23(3), 326–348.
https://doi.org/10.1080/19359705.2019.1621231
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