Dr. Kramer
COMS 560
3 April 2015
The four Gs’ of peacemaking as identified by Sande.
In proverbs 15:1 states, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Sande defines conflicts as a difference in opinion that frustrate someone goals and desires (p.29).
He believes that there are four primary sources of conflict. First, conflicts arise because of
misunderstanding due to poor communication. Second, conflicts due to differences in values,
opinion, expectations, goals, and priorities. Third, competition over limited resources such as
money and time. This is one of the most frequent sources of dispute in families, churches, and
business. Fourth, conflicts caused by sinful attitudes and habits that lead to hurt others (P.30).
Sande provides hope that conflicts can be prevented if we learn to look and respond to conflict in
a Biblical way. God use conflicts to stretch and challenge us to grow into the likeness of Christ.
Sande identified four principles that have always provided him a reliable track to resolve conflict
in peaceful way. He called it the four G’s of peacemaking. These principles are:
Glorify God
Get the log out your own eye.
Gently restore.
Go and be reconciled.
Glorify God
In 1 Corinthians 10:31-32 states, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for
the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God.”
Sande believes that conflict brings opportunities to Glorify God, to serve others, and to grow to
be like Christ. The questions that we need to ask ourselves is “how can we please and honor God
during a conflict? The reality of the situation is that people respond to situation differently; some
people use escape responses such as denial, flight, and suicide; some use attack responses like
assault, litigation, and even murder, and others uses responses commanded by God called the
Peacemaking responses. These responses are overlook an offense, reconciliation, negotiation,
mediation, arbitration, and accountability. According to Sande the best way to Glorify in the
midst of conflict is to depend on and draw attention to his grace, that is, the undeserved love,
mercy, forgiveness, strength, and wisdom he gives to us through Jesus Christ. There are several
ways we can accomplished this. First, Trust God; the Bible teaches us in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in
the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Second, obey God; John 5:29 states, “Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God
rather than human beings!” Third, imitate God; Ephesians 5:1-2 states, “Follow God’s
example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved
us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Fourth, acknowledge
God; Philippians 2:13 states, “for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill
his good purpose.” The message was given by Jesus to maintain a harmonious relationship with
those around us we must live in peace with God, peace with other, and peace within ourselves. It
is impossible to acquire internal peace without experiencing the love and peace with God and
others. John 4:11 states, “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one
another.”
Get the log out of your eye
The Bible teaches us in Matthew 7:5, “Your hypocrites, first take the plank out of your own eye,
and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” How important is to
accept the responsibility of our own sin? The only way we can accomplish this is a accepting our
own sin and remember that Jesus already paid the price and die for it. Self-awareness is a power
medium that we can use to let go the illusion of self-righteousness and freely admit our wrongs.
When we master this, we will experience the surpassing love and forgiveness of our Merciful
Father. In many cases, our father will be pleased to use our confession to help others see their
own faults (p. 78). In this context, whenever we engage in a serious conflict with others, we
should always explore our own heart to see whether we are being manipulated by unmet desires
which we could have converted in idols. No matter how good or valid a desire may look like on
the surface, if we got to the point that we cannot live without it, means that the desire has
evolved into an idol that has diverted our love and trust from God. In 2 Kings 17:41 states, “Even
while these people were worshiping the LORD, they were serving their idols. To this day, their
children and grandchildren continue to do as their ancestors did”. If we are not careful with these
unmet desires we could start engaging in conflicts, we start demanding, judging, and even
punishing others. In effect, at this point we expect other to submit to our idols. When they refuse
to do so, we condemn them in our hearts and with our words, and our action we escalate the
conflict to the point of desperation. The Bible teaches us in Ephesian 4:31-32. “Get rid of all
bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and
compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” The good
news is that the Lord our God is eager to deliver his people from their idols, if we allow him to
do the work. Therefore, if we want to suffocate the idols out of our hearts we need to replace
idols-worship with a God that transcend all understanding. To do this thing we need to repent
before God, Fear, love, Trust, and delight in God. Fortunately, confession brings freedom,
fulfillment and secure in his love and security in his provision. To become a peacemaker, we
must deal honestly with our contribution to a conflict. Doing so, we become more useful to him
in making peace and be better prepared to gently restore others.
Gently Restore
In Galatians 6:1 we read, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the
Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
There are many ways we can accomplish this. First, we must listen to others intently, and
communicate back in a way that will bring praise to God. Second, as our word are full of wisdom
and grace, talking to others can become as a mean to strengthening our relationship with others
(p.142). Genuine relationship involves personal communication. That is why, “If your brother
sins against, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you
have won your brother over (Matthew, 18: 15). If someone’s sins are dishonoring God, damaging
relationship, and hurting others, we must help them to see the need for change. Such
conversation should bring restoration and stronger relationships. It’s imperative to speak the truth
in love as God commands us. The Bible clearly commands face-to-face meeting as an important
step in reconciling with others. According to Sande, we must not let personal preference or
cultural tradition stop us from seeking genuine reconciliation, which requires a sincere
expression and confirmation of confession and forgiveness (p.147). In Colossian 4:5-6 we learn,
“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your
conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer
everyone.” According to Sande, there are some foundational communication skills that we can
learn to become a peacemaker in the midst of conflicts. First, we need to bring hope through the
Gospel; second, be quick to listen (Waiting, attending, clarifying, reflecting, and agreeing); third,
the ability to speak to others in a clear, constructive, and persuasive manner ( Breathe grace,
make charitable judgment, speak the true in love, talk form besides, not from above, help others
examine the desires of their heart, choose the right time and place, talk in person whenever
possible, engage rather than declare, communicate so clearly that you cannot be misunderstood,
plan your words, use I statements, be objective, use the bible carefully, ask for feedback, offer
solutions and preferences, and recognize your limits (p.170-182).As we learn to and practice
these set of skills and make them a normal part of our everyday conversation, we will be better
prepared when the conflicts break out.
Go and be reconciled
In Matthew 5:24 teaches us, “Leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled
to them; then come and offer your gift.” The Bible is very clear that we must Forgive as God
forgave us; this is incredibly high standard to live up to when we have the opportunity to forgive
someone. This sound easy to do it until we literally have to do it. It is almost impossible to truly
forgive others in our own strength, especially when we’ve been hurt and betrayed our trust. We
can try not to think about it but deep inside us the pain still latent. That is why we cannot do it
alone and we desperately need God to come in and change our hearts. Through forgiveness, God
brings down all the resistance that our sins have built, and he open the way for a renewed
relationship with him (p.209). We must not hold wrongs, not to think about the wrongs, and not
to punish others for them. The bible teaches us about these things in Ephesian 4:2, “Be
completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” and in Philippians
4:8-10, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or
praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from
me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” If we learn all
these things no matter how hard the offense, with Gods help, we can forgive as the Lord forgave
us. This will resolve the personal issue but what would happen if the conflict involve material
issues? Sande provides a comprehensive five-step principle that can help us reach an agreement
on material issues in a Biblical manner. These are cooperative negotiation, affirm relationship,
understand interest, search for creative solutions, and evaluate options objectively and
reasonably (p.226-242). When we cooperate people respond favorably, which can allow us to
reach out to a mutually beneficial solution to the conflict. Sometimes all it takes is a willingness
to “Look not only to our own interest, but also to the interest of others.
Applying all these principles can be very difficult, but as an ambassador of our Lord Jesus
Christ, we must put the effort and reconcile and restore relationships. This is the only way to
overcome evil with Good as the Lord taught us. Corinthians 15:58 states, “Therefore, my dear
brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work
of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”
