COMS 560
JOURNAL ACTIVITIES TEMPLATE
Journal Activity 1
In the table below, the left-hand column contains sets of communication expressions that indicate conflict
from a particular metaphorical position. In the column on the right, follow the italics example in set 1 by
filling in the blanks underneath “Metaphor for Conflict.” Be sure to identify:
1) Where the scene of the conflict is.
2) Who the participants are.
3) Who must win the battle and by what method.
4) What is the outcome/purpose of the conflict?
Communication Expressions Metaphor for Conflict
Set 1:
Your actions are completely indefensible. He
attacked me where I was most vulnerable – my
kids. That criticism is right on target. Okay,
shoot!
Accusations were hurled back and forth. I just
retreat. I fall back and regroup. Then I wait for
an opening. He slaughters me when I cry and get
confused. When I don’t want it to come to blow
(laughs), I launch a diversionary attack, like
telling him the kids are calling me.
WAR
The scene for conflict is battlefield. The
participants in discussion are warriors who must
win the battle. Nothing falls short of “killing” or
reducing the effectiveness of the opponent. The
purpose or outcome is inevitably a reduction of
players, harm, desire for vengeance and a
repetition of the battle.
Set 2:
He’s about to blow up. Any little thing will set
him off. Larry’s got a short fuse. The
pressure’s building up so fast that something’s
gotta give soon! I just need to let off steam. She
is really pushing my buttons.
EXPLOSION
Set 3:
He’s got the best case. The jury’s still out on
that one. You’re accusing me of what? She’s the
guilty party on this one.
TRIAL
Set 4:
I’m on a sinking ship with no lifeboat. I’m
traveling a rocky road. I’m working with a
checkbook that won’t balance.
STRUGGLE
Set 5:
I felt like being “a rowboat caught in a
hurricane. Tornado,
Avalanche
I was swept away,
Like a fire raging out of control.
ACT OF NATURE
Page 1 of 9
COMS 560
Step 2: The scene of conflict is a volcanic eruption. The participants in the discussion are energy in the volcano
that must be released before it erupts and blows. Nothing will stop the explosion but a release of energy or more
space. The purpose or outcome is an extreme reduction in tension, negative energy, and stress.
Step 3: The scene of conflict is the courtroom. The participants in the discussion are victims in a crime. They
must fight to proof their innocence. The purpose or outcome is an increase in evidence to prove their innocence.
Step 4: The scene of conflict is a sinking ship. The participants in the discussion are individuals who cannot
swim. The people must get out of the sinking ship by finding another source like a lifejacket and call for
assistance. The purpose of the conflict is to know when it is okay to get help.
Step 5: The scene of conflict is the open water body of water in an ocean. The participants in discussion are
kayakers who have lost their paddles. The kayakers must use what they have to survive. The purpose of the
conflict is being able to adapt to changes.
Page 2 of 9
COMS 560
Journal Activity 2
Borisoff & Victor, p. 31: Suggested Activities C
1. Letter to someone
Dear Mom,
I am writing this letter to apologize for pushing you to stay in your marriage and not get a divorce. I
should have supported you in your decision and loved you no matter what you decided as you do me. I pushed
you to stay in a relationship that you were not happy in and now you are miserable and unhappy. I am sorry for
pushing my beliefs on you. I really wanted you to push through the hard times and lean on God to make it work.
I realize that while we vow to love someone until death we should not have to stay true to that vow if the
dynamic of a relationship has changed. Shawn has become a different man and he is no longer the man you
married. I want you to know that I want you to be happy. I will support you through all of your decisions. I
apologize again for not supporting your choice from the beginning. You are a bright, loving, and overall
wonderful woman and you deserve to be treated that way. You deserve nothing less than the absolute best.
Whatever I can do to make it right I will. It breaks my heart to see you unhappy.
Love,
Artiea
2. Letter to me from someone
Dear Artiea,
I am writing this letter to apologize for being absent in your life. I apologize for letting a woman dictate
the relationship with my daughter. I apologize for not putting you first. I apologize for wanting to be a father on
my terms. It’s not fair that I waited until you were a woman to try to be involved in your life. I realize I have
missed my chance at being a father. Your mother raised you into an intelligent and bright woman. I cannot take
Page 3 of 9
COMS 560
that from her. She deserves all the credit. I apologize for trying to act like a father at the last minute. I realize
that you have already been parented and it is too late for me to step in about give “fatherly” advice. I apologize
for approaching your fiancé’s dad. That was not my place. I realize I did not earn the right to be asked for my
blessing in your marriage. I apologize for trying to push a father-daughter relationship on you after missing 20+
years of your life. I apologize for being selfish and not asking what you worked from the relationship…if
anything at all. I apologize for humiliating you and your mom by requesting a paternity test after over 20 years
of our life.
Signed,
Corey
Journal Activity 3
Cahn & Abigail 2 Discuss it. #2 p. 52. Please write out answer. No discussion group.
The professor in the scenario definitely seems to be trying to use the conflict strategy of avoidance. The
professor tried to remain neutral at that the beginning of the scenario. His class was being interrupted. He asked
why and began to work through it until he was constantly disturbed. The professor then used the competing
strategy. The competing strategy uses a “win-lose” approach. The professor was assertive when telling the
gentleman he was disturbing his class and to leave. He was not willing to compromise. He wanted him out of
his class immediately.
Journal Activity 4
Cahn & Abigail 3 p. 74 Work With It. #1
“He did this to me because he wants to get even.” internal
“She did this to me because she hates my guts.” internal
“He did poorly because his parents expect the worst from him, so he delivers accordingly.” external
“He didn’t show for the test because he is probably afraid he will fail.” internal
“He made the test too hard, so I flunked it.” external
“Of course she didn’t return the laptop. She is an idiot. What do you expect from an imbecile?” internal
Page 4 of 9
COMS 560
“They keep tearing up the parking lots and that is why I was late to class.” external
“I’ve been in a slump, which is why I am not doing well these days.” internal
“She’s immoral and only wants you for your money.” internal
“He treats you badly because you are so tall. He has a rotten attitude toward others taller than he is.”
internal
“Luck is against me. Maybe next time I will get lucky.” external
Journal Activity 5
Cahn & Abigail 4 Apply it p. 102 #4
I feel disappointed that you are backing out of this show after you agreed to help me with it. feeling
You really irritate me when you don’t show up for a date with me. feeling
I need assurance I am loved in a language I understand. need
I need for you to tell me where a class is going so that I can get excited about it. need
I feel like a single parent around here. feeling
You don’t seem to contribute anything to our group project. feeling
I feel frustrated when it seems that I have sole responsibility for planning our dates. feeling
I feel like I am going crazy. feeling
I feel insecure when we don’t have at least the equivalent of a month’s salary in the bank. feeling
I am not the only person who’s having trouble in your class. feeling
Journal Activity 6
Cahn & Abigail 4 Apply it p. 102 #5
Look at the following statements. Which statements are goal statements specifying a clear want? (WANTS IN
BOLD)
a Let’s get together for lunch.
b I want us to spend more time together with the kids.
c I want you to attend this class with me.
d I wish we could play different kinds of music around here instead of yours all the time.
e I want to stop feeling overwhelmed.
f I don’t want your pity!
g I wish you’d get off my case!
Page 5 of 9
COMS 560
h I would like us to have one night a week, Wednesday, just for ourselves.
i I want you to exercise more.
j I want you to put your dirty clothes in the laundry instead of on the floor.
Journal Activity 7
Cahn & Abigail 4 -Apply It - p. 102 #6
HIGHLIGHTED
a I feel . . . when . . . because . . . I want . . .
▪ I feel annoyed when I have to wait and wait because I hate waiting around and wasting time. I want to leave
at the time we agreed on.
▪ I feel frustrated when I don’t understand the course requirements because I don’t know what is expected
of me. I would like some help on how to improve my grades.
▪ I feel angry at myself when we stay out too late and drink too much because I don’t like being irresponsible.
I want to get more sleep and cut down on my drinking.
▪ I feel frustrated when I am the only one who cleans up this place because it’s not fair to me. I want you to
help around the house.
▪
Create your own I-statements:
▪ I feel afraid when I get pulled over because there have been several murders by police officers. I want to
feel protected by all of our men and women in blue.
I feel embarrassed when I go out with my friends because they are all skinny. I want to lose weight.
Page 6 of 9
COMS 560
Journal Activity 8
Cahn & Abigail 5 Work with it #1 p. 130 #1-5 answer all questions after case study.
How should you deal with violent acts by a family member?
oOption 1: Violent acts by a family member can be dealt with by first confronting the family
member. If telling that member how their actions affect you does not help, then go to the person
who is conducting the violent acts trusts the most and confide in them. This would also need to
be someone that this person would never hurt and would never want to disappoint. It needs to be
a person who is impressionable on the individual committing the violence.
oOption 2: Violence is not something that should be taken lightly, whether a family member on
not. The acts of violence should be immediately reported to someone of authority (police, pastor,
etc.) The solution depends on whether or not it is continuous. If continuous it should be reported
to the police. Violence escalates very quickly. What used to be a push turns into a slap, then a
punch. What starts as a simple act of violence could lead to a loss of a life.
How should you prepare for possible violent acts in the workplace?
oOption 1: Violent acts in the workplace should be immediately reported to management and then
Human Resources or Employee Services. Each company has a proper protocol for reporting
violence in the workplace. I believe an individual should follow that protocol and comply with
the company’s rules on reporting violence. Our text suggests being assertive and communicating
with the individual. However, once physical violence has occurred, I believe we are passed the
point of communication. Communication should happen prior to the violence. Perhaps when the
first verbal altercation happens, the individuals should communicate.
How should you deal with road rage?
oOption 1: Road rage should be reported. If possible, the individual experiencing the road rage
should try to get the offenders license plate number, safely. Since you are in the car there is no
way to communicate and talk through the issue. The victim of the road rage must remain calm
and not get forceful back.
How should you deal with jealousy by a romantic partner?
oOption 1: Drugs and alcohol can increase jealous feelings in an individual who is already jealous
Page 7 of 9
COMS 560
by nature. It is recommended to not argue or confront a jealous individual unless they are sober.
Depending on the level of jealously it might be best to completely avoid a jealous lover if they
can no control their jealous feelings.
How should you deal with sexual harassment in the workplace?
oOption 1: Companies should have written policies and protocols on handling sexual harassment
in the workplace just as they would have a written policy for violence. Our text also suggests
gated parking lot and/or guards on duty. Employees should remain aware and alert to be on the
lookout for sexual offenders. Management and Human Resources should be very diligent will
taking reports filed by employees.
Journal Activity 9
Sande, chs. 4 and 5: Reflection paragraph
Part A: The beginning of Chapter 4 in Sande spoke to me the most. Matthew 7:3-5 was referenced as a
reminder to first consider our own faults before addressing the faults or wrong doings of others. This
stuck out to me because it is the very opposite of my mother’s teaching. My mother always told me
“Don’t do as I do. Do better than me.” Where my mother may have been weak in a certain area of life,
she knew she was weak but as her child she wanted me to be strong. She would point out my faults no to
criticize me or be a hypocrite but to teach me to be better than what she was. In Chapter 4, Paul’s five
basic principles of resolving conflict were explained. The principles (rejoice in the Lord always, let your
gentleness be evident to all, replace anxiety with prayer, see things as they really are, and practice what
you’ve learned) had an impact on my way of approach conflict and life as a whole. Chapter 5 was deep
and required me to have an open mind. When discussing conflict I never really thought to consider it
beginning in the heart. When I think of the heart, I think of peacefulness and kindness, love and joy.
Matthew 15:19 read, “Out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft,
false testimony, slander.” These acts mentioned are acts of a poisoned heart. Chapter 5 also discussed
replacing idol worship with worship of the True God. This is one concept I heard frequently in my house
Page 8 of 9
COMS 560
as a child. In Chapter 5 we are told to repent to God, fear God, love God, trust God, and delight in God.
When we trust God we must rely on him, as he was the one who sacrificed his life for us.
Reconcile Sande’s approach to “rights” and “I” statements on p. 92 and 102–109 with Cahn &
Abigail’s list of rights on p. 83. Are these two approaches compatible with each other? Write no
more than a ½ page.
Part B:
When comparing Sande’s “rights” and “I” statement approach to Cahn & Abigails’ list of rights I would say that
the two of very similar. Cahn & Abigail’s rights and much like Sande’s demands. They both list of things we
may expect from others based on what we do for them or our morals as a person.
Page 9 of 9
Powered by TCPDF (www.tcpdf.org)
