COMS 560
BRITTANY J STOKES
DR. KELLY
COMS 560
28 MAY 2017
JOURNAL ACTIVITIES
Journal Activity 1
In the table below, the left-hand column contains sets of communication expressions that indicate conflict from
a particular metaphorical position. In the column on the right, follow the italics example in set 1 by filling in
the blanks underneath “Metaphor for Conflict.” Be sure to identify:
1) Where the scene of the conflict is.
2) Who the participants are.
3) Who must win the battle and by what method.
4) What is the outcome/purpose of the conflict?
Communication Expressions Metaphor for Conflict
Set 1:
Your actions are completely indefensible. He
attacked me where I was most vulnerable – my
kids. That criticism is right on target. Okay, shoot!
Accusations were hurled back and forth. I just
retreat. I fall back and regroup. Then I wait for an
opening. He slaughters me when I cry and get
confused. When I don’t want it to come to blow
(laughs), I launch a diversionary attack, like telling
him the kids are calling me.
WAR
The scene for conflict is battlefield. The
participants in discussion are warriors who must
win the battle. Nothing falls short of “killing” or
reducing the effectiveness of the opponent. The
purpose or outcome is inevitably a reduction of
players, harm, desire for vengeance and a
repetition of the battle.
Set 2:
He’s about to blow up. Any little thing will set him
off. Larry’s got a short fuse. The pressure’s
building up so fast that something’s gotta give
soon! I just need to let off steam. She is really
pushing my buttons.
EXPLOSION
The scene for conflict is at a meeting in the home of
Larry. The participants in discussion are siblings
Larry and Ellis. They must find a reasonable
compromise or come to collaboration on the
situation. The purpose or outcome of the conflict is
that they cannot agree on what to do with their
parents’ land that was left behind after they died.
Larry and Ellis should revisit the issue at hand
once they have had some time to calm down.
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Set 3:
He’s got the best case. The jury’s still out on that
one. You’re accusing me of what? She’s the guilty
party on this one.
TRIAL
The scene is in a courtroom. The participants in
discussion are a small local lawn company and a
homeowner. The jury must find one guilty or at
fault and that person will be liable to pay for
damages and the other party will win the battle.
The outcome or purpose of the conflict is to get the
jurors option as to whether the homeowner or the
lawn service company is guilty based on the facts
given in the courtroom.
Set 4:
I’m on a sinking ship with no lifeboat. I’m
traveling a rocky road. I’m working with a
checkbook that won’t balance.
STRUGGLE
The scene is in the home of Susan. The participants
in discussion are cousins Susan and Julianne. The
participants need to come to a collaboration to
settle the conflict. The outcome or purpose of the
conflict is that the homeowner Susan is frustrated
with cleaning up behind Julianne and her children
to keep her own home clean and organized. Susan
has talked to Julianne several times to figure out
how to compromise but Julianne has yet to step up
to clean up behind herself and her children.
Set 5:
I felt like being “a rowboat caught in a hurricane.
Tornado,
Avalanche
I was swept away,
Like a fire raging out of control.
ACT OF NATURE
The scene is at a lovely home. The participants are
husband Mark and wife Lauren. Lauren must try to
forgive Mark for his infidelity and lies. The
outcome or purpose of the conflict is that Lauren
has been a loving a committed wife for years so she
was distraught when she found out that Mark had
been unfaithful.
Journal Activity 2
Choose ONE of the following:
Cahn & Abigail 1 Think about it. p. 25, #,3,4,5, (Your essay should be about 1 page in length.)
Borisoff & Victor, p. 30: Suggested Activities A
Borisoff & Victor, p. 30: Suggested Activities B
Borisoff & Victor, p. 31: Suggested Activities C
C. Focus on Apology
1. Letter to my husband from a recent conflict.
Chris,
Thank you for taking the time out of your day for us to resolve our conflict issue from a
couple of weeks ago. I apologize for not wanting to handle the situation sooner and talk to you
about the issues that we were having. Sometimes my feelings get so hurt that I find it hard to
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remove that to listen and understand your point of view. This apology is just to put closure on
the situation so that we can learn from it and communicate effectively in the future. I will work
on listening to what you are saying and understanding your point of view. This will help us to
effectively communicate and come up with ways to collaborate and compromise in our marriage.
Love, Brittany
2. A letter I would like to receive from my husband
Brittany,
Thank you for expressing your feelings and taking the time out of your morning to sit
down and talk to me about the issues we were having a couple of weeks ago. I am sorry that I
did not realize ahead of time how you felt about my planning and spending time with the family.
I will work on the things that we have discussed and my open communication. I want to be there
for you in the ways that you need me so I think we should have those talks once a week to ensure
that we are on the same page and that our communication is open.
Love, Chris
Journal Activity 3
Cahn & Abigail 2 Discuss it. #2 p. 52. Please write out answer. No discussion group.
3.
a. The competitive conflict style
b. The competitive communication option was presented in the narrative because when the
professor expressed to the student that she was disturbing his class without an alternative the student
became irritable and responded in a negative manner. The compromising conflict communication style
would have been a much better option for the student and the professor to communicate. The
competitive communication style was the worst conflict style to use in this situation because the
professor and the student were speaking louder instead of solving the conflict.
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c. This conflict could have been handled in a much better way if the student would have came
into the classroom and asked the teacher politely if they could remove the audiovisual equipment. Since
the student needed the equipment right away he could have talked to the teacher about having a few
minutes to remove it and even getting help from other students or the teacher. The professor could have
decided to continue teaching after they spoke but at least she would have felt respected and known how
long it would take the student to remove it. She could have also told the students what was going on so
they would be aware of the situation and not have to see the conflict arise. Since the student getting the
equipment was having a bad day he may have felt better about the situation after getting approval or
help from the teacher. After speaking they would have came up with a solution to collaborate or
compromise and the situation would have remained calm.
Journal Activity 4
Cahn & Abigail 3 p. 74 Work With It. #1
a. A
b. A
c. B
d. A
e. B
f. A
g. B
h. B
i. A
j. A
k. B
Journal Activity 5
Cahn & Abigail 4 Apply it p. 102 #4
-All but B
Journal Activity 6
Cahn & Abigail 4 Apply it p. 102 #5
-B, C, I, and J
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Journal Activity 7
Cahn & Abigail 4 -Apply It - p. 102 #6 Journal Activity 8
6.
-Frustrated
-I do not do well on a test
-The next day I feel very sick
-To be able to spend some time reading and relaxing
-I feel afraid when I am home alone because I am used to my husband being home with me at
night. I want to feel secure and for him to come home from deployment.
-I feel angry when my children do not listen to me because I have to speak to them several times
to complete one task. I want them to follow directions the first time that I ask them to do
something.
Activity 8.
-White hat- A photographer and an assistant to a swimwear line were in a conflict based on the
location of the upcoming photo shoot. The issue is that the photographer did not properly
communicate the issues she was having with securing the location. The conflict started after my
the photographer called the assistant very late the night before the photo shoot to inform her that
the location was not secure which did not leave enough time for the photo shoot to be
rescheduled or moved.
-Red hat- The assistant is feeling very upset because she thought the location was secure and the
shoot had to be cancelled. The photographer may not understand that it was too late to try to
change location with equipment, food, and models.
-Yellow hat- Unfortunately, we can no longer work with the photographer as we found her to be
very unprofessional.
-Black hat- Better communication with everyone involved in the photo shoot would make sure
that everything is running more smoothly.
-Green hat- Having a checklist of all of the things that need to be followed up with would help to
ensure that everything is confirmed.
-Blue hat- The goal to having a checklist is definitely worthwhile because it will help to ensure
that future shoots go as planned.
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Cahn & Abigail 5 Work with it #1 p. 130 #1-5 answer all questions after case study.
1. When dealing with a violent act by a family member I would suggest stepping away from the
situation and getting legal help, if necessary.
2. In the workplace there should be security on site or some type of relief such as a panic button
in certain instances.
3. When dealing with road rage you should try to create some distance from the other vehicles
and stay calm.
4. When dealing with jealously from a romantic partner you should try counseling and
communicating with your partner to resolve the issues.
5. When dealing with sexual harassment in the workplace it should always be reported.
Journal Activity 9
Sande, chs. 4 and 5: Reflection paragraph
In Chapter four Sande introduces and describes different ways to look at conflict. Sande
discusses how it may be a better idea for individuals to view their mistakes within the conflict
before judging others. It is important to think about the mistakes that were made by one because
most conflicts have two individuals that contributed in the conflict in some way. Once you can
determine your mistakes or flaws within the conflict you can fix the situation or if it is too late
you can take the knowledge and use it in future situations of conflict. Sande touched on
Christianity and how it relates and contributes to conflict. It is in the best interest of everyone to
handle conflict effectively in the beginning so that the conflict does not become more serious.
Sande discusses how many things come into play when there is a conflict because everyone has
different wants and needs in life. God is there for us at all times so we can turn to him for
guidance and fulfillment when we are not receiving things that are expected from individuals
they are involved with. We need to be careful when we have a yearning for someone to give us
something and to not turn that feeling into a demand or ultimatum.
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Reconcile Sande’s approach to “rights” and “I” statements on p. 92 and 102–109 with Cahn & Abigail’s
list of rights on p. 83. Are these two approaches compatible with each other? Write no more than a ½
page.
After reading both books I do not feel that the approaches used are very compatible. However,
both of these approaches are important to dealing with conflict. When discussing I statements in the
Peacemaker, Sande, describes how you can use the “I statement” to your advantage. Sande relates these
conflicts to God and I statements to God and encourages readers to turn I statements into something
positive. Chan and Abaigail look at this from a different perspective and for everyone to look at their own
doing when dealing with conflict and to determine if they are communicating effectively and respecting
others human rights.
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