COMS 560
The Four Communication Behavior Styles for Handling Conflict
Poor communication often leads to conflict and if unresolved, in can escalate out of
control. Choosing the best communication behavior for the situation, will help bridge the gap and
resolve the conflict. There are advantages and disadvantages to each style of communication
behavior. In this essay, I will describe the pros and cons to each style; along with discuss the
criteria for selecting which style to use and when not to use it. Understanding each behavior and
putting them to use is crucial to having a healthy relationship. Depending on one’s personality,
the communication style is how a person chooses to express their needs and feelings on a matter.
It also affects how they verbally or nonverbally communicate. Most people tend to utilize only
one or two of the behavioral styles on a regular basis. A heightened sense of self-awareness is
important when identifying one’s communication preferences and making necessary adjustments.
Aggressive Communication Behavior
According to Back and Back (1980) aggression enhances ourselves at another person’s
expense; it puts the other person down. It is based on a belief that our opinions are more
important that other people’s. It is characterized by blaming others and outside factors, by
contempt and hostility. The advantages to being aggressive are the feeling of superiority it gives.
It also allows for a person to get their way faster and ends up getting a reaction out of people. To
the aggressive person, these are often their main objectives. Usually people that are
aggressiveness took on a different communication style at one point. The aggression could stem
from years of not being heard or respected. type of communication may have its benefits in the
short-run, the long-term effects and disadvantages can be detrimental.
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The disadvantages to aggressive behavior are numerous. As an aggressive leader, you are
teaching your subordinates to take on a passive or non-assertive role. Leaders should cultivate an
environment where they can share their ideas and opinions openly. According to Cahn and
Abigail (2014) aggressive behavior can lead to verbal abuse. This involves attacking the self-
concept of another person. When aggressive behavior is demonstrated it can be intimidating and
often leads to violence. Aggressive behavior that escalates can lead to emotional or physical
harm to another person. I don’t believe there is ever a situation that would warrant aggressive
behavior.
Passive-Aggressive Communication Behavior
According to Cahn and Abigail (2014) passive-aggressive communication can often
appear to take on an avoidance or accommodating conflict management styles. It is defined as
“the ability to pose one’s will on others through…acts that appear to avoid an open conflict or
accommodate the desires of others, but are carried out with the intention of inflicting pain” (p.
40). Instead of dealing with the conflict directly, the person who engages in passive aggressive
behavior will try and resolve the issue behind with malicious intent.
The disadvantages to this type of communication is that the person is not interested in a
“win-win” solution to conflict management. They are interested in a “I win-you lose” result. It is
difficult to maintain relationships with this type of communication. If they are found out, their
“back-stabbing” usually results in terminating the relationship. An important disadvantage to
passive-aggressive behavior is that it is against the Bible. Psalms 55:21 speaks negatively of a
passive aggressive person: “The words if his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in
his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords” (KJV). There are no
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advantages to this type of communication and should only be used if all other options have been
exhausted.
Assertive Communication Behavior
The assertive communication style can be one of the healthiest approaches to maintaining
relationships and resolving conflict. According to an article published by The College of New
Jersey (2016), assertive behavior is expressing your needs, ideas, and rights in a way that doesn’t
violate other’s rights. Assertive communication is direct and honest and leaves you with a feeling
of confidence that a situation was handled appropriately. In most situations, this should be the
objective, but there are situations where assertiveness is not the answer.
According to Shiplee, Damodar, and Singh (2012), studies revealed that an advantage to
assertiveness in the workplace is that it lends maximum support to employees and effective
communication fosters a strong emotional bond. Its positive consequences are known to reduce
absenteeism and increase employee satisfaction. Assertive managerial communication is
necessary within the workplace in order to drive relationships and sculpt the attitude and
behaviors of a team. Assertive communication increases the chances of a win-win solution. Both
parties will be listened to and have a better chance of consideration for their opinions and ideas.
Back and Back (1980) describes several advantages for ourselves when using assertion. They
include: greater confidence in yourself and in others, an increased self-responsibility, increased
self-control, and a savings in time and energy.
A disadvantage in assertive behavior is that not all people are going to approve. Others
may not understand or accept this style of communication. Many believe that being assertive is
being over-powering or just trying to get one’s way. If done in the right manner, this should not
be the case. There are those that will disagree when a person voices their opinions. This does not
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mean they should not do so, they should just be careful of the words and tone used. Exhibiting
assertiveness does not mean you choose not to compromise, but rather you are expressing your
own ideas so they are known and considered by others.
An appropriate time to use assertiveness is in any situation where you need to stand up
for yourself. For example, suppose the boss assigns an extensive list of demands with a tight
deadline. As a good worker, we should strive to do our best to meet the deadline, but sometimes
it’s just not feasible. In this situation, assertiveness is necessary to let your boss know that you
unfortunately will not be able to complete the tasks within the given timeframe. You should then
ask if there is any flexibility in the deadline or is he/she can work with you on alternative
solutions.
Non-Assertive Communication Behavior
Non-assertive is the opposite of assertiveness. They are not honest about their feelings
and do not express their needs and ideas. Many times, they forfeit their own rights, because they
would rather avoid the situation and do not feel as if their needs are as important. Non-assertive
is also known as a passive or submissive behavior. According to Filipeanu and Cananau (2015)
this type of behavior can induce frustration and comes with a strong sense to not irritate others,
even if they feel strongly about their opinion. Those that often utilize this form of
communication eventually surprise people when they begin to act more assertively. This is
known as “the effect of the last straw” (Filipeanu, 2015, p.240). There are advantages and
disadvantages to this type of behavior and it should only be used in certain situations.
The advantages to non-assertive behavior are the accommodating spirit behind this type
of communication. If not taken advantage of, it is well appreciated and highly regarded. When
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someone has a non-assertive or passive communication style, they are viewed as selfless and
caring. Hassan, Maqsood, and Riaz (2001) convey that non-assertiveness or an obliging style of
communication make good team members. They are cooperative to management’s wishes and
have a difficulty saying “no” when asked for assistance by another team member. This
cooperation stems from a need of affection and to have warm and close relationships with other
people.
Although a nonassertive communication style often leads to others thinking well of us, in
the long-run the effects can be unpleasant for both parties involved. The effects on ourselves are
a growing loss of self-esteem, increase in anger or self-pity. The disadvantageous effects on
others include feeling sorry for us, guilty about taking advantage of non-assertion, and eventually
irritation (Back & Back, 1980). As mentioned earlier, on assertion can lead to build up anger and
begin to express our opinions in an aggressive manner. It’s important to avoid unassertive
behaviors in most situations and create an environment when people are able to express their
ideas openly without aggression from others. An example of when a non-assertive should be
used is within a violent or risky situation. My times assertive or aggressive behavior can make
matters worse. It is important to remove yourself from the situation and do not do anything to
escalate it.
In conclusion, an assertive behavior is the option in more scenarios. It is the most
respectful and direct form of communication. Matthew 5:37 says “Let what you say be simply
‘yes’ or ‘no’; anything more than this comes from evil” (ESV). In this verse God encourages
directness and discourages non-assertive babbling. I have a natural non-assertive style that I am
working on. I ask the Lord to help me in this matter so that I can communicate my opinions
clearly and glorify Him.
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References
Back, K. & Back, K. (1980). Assertiveness for people and organizations. Industrial and
Commercial Training, Vol 12(1), p. 22-27. Retrieved on June 20, 2017 from
https://doi.org/10.1108/eb003767
.
Cahn, D. & Abigail, R. (2014). Managing conflict through management. Upper Saddle River,
NJ: Pearson Education.
Filipeanu, D. & Cananau, M. (2015). Assertive communication and efficient management in the
office. International Journal of Communication Research, Vol 5(3), p. 237-243. Retrieved
on June 19, 2017 from http://ezproxy.liberty.edu/login?
url=http://search.proquest.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/docview/1783990122?
accountid=12085.
Hassan, B., Maqsood, A., Riaz, M. (2011). Relationship between organizational communication
climate and interpersonal conflict management styles. Pakistan Journal of Phschology, 42(2).
Retrieved on June 21, 2017 from http://go.galegroup.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/ps/i.do?
p=AONE&sw=w&u=vic_liberty&v=2.1&it=r&id=GALE
%7CA290580290&sid=summon&asid=f4113632e3a08d56aaad41ba91d05f3d.
Shilpee A. Dasgupta, Damodar Suar, Seema Singh, (2012) Impact of managerial communication
styles on employees’ attitudes and behaviours, Employee Relations, Vol. 35 Issue: 2,
pp.173-199, https://doi-org.ezproxy.liberty.edu/10.1108/01425451311287862.
TCNJ.edu. (2016). Assertive, nonassertive, and agreessive behaviors. Anti-violence initiatives at
The College of New Jersey.Retrieved on June 19, 2017 from http://oavi.tcnj.edu/get-help-
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