FAMILY IN MINISTRY ASSIGNMENT
Submitted to Dr. Jon Scarlett
CLED 325 – B01
By
Donald Boyd
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Introduction
Having a plan for life leads to discipline; however, the Bible tells us, “The heart of man
plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Prov. 16:9). My heart desires God to align my
wife and me in our Family Ministry Vision plan according to His will. In this manner, gaining
discipline and aligning with God is ultimately my desire to fulfill my Godly mission and serve
God, my family, and humankind. Essential to my family plan are prayer, Love, Communicating,
and Serving as manifested in and through God’s word.
Families are one of God’s most excellent tools for orchestrating His plan of salvation to
all.
“Our family will stand on prayer as our guide and submit to God’s word for foundational
truth, as we strive to uplift one another and those God put before us in everyday life.”
Family in Ministry Vision Statement Defended and Explained
Fernando mentioned, “Families of Christian leaders experience pain in many forms.”1
That is why families in church leadership are on guard from attacks of the devil, the world, and
themselves—protecting and solidifying family biblical morals and values that are essential to a
healthy growing family. And prayer is the catalyst of carrying and implementing our family
values and morals. Dockery said, “…leaders must seek a spiritual understanding, a revelation, of
the unique work that God calls them to that is more than just the appropriation of best practices
or success models.” 2 Husbands are the leaders of their families and have a vision for their
marriage. And raising children is built on the success of his commitment to the marriage and first
to God’s word.
1 Ajith Fernando, The Family Life of a Christian Leader. (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2016), 55.
2 David S. Dockery, Christian Leadership Essentials: A Handbook for Managing Christian Organizations.
(B & H Academic, 2011).
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Praying Together
Families are the number one source of attacks from Satan, the world, and within human
nature. In persevering prayer, Fernando stated, “It goes without saying that the most important
thing that one can do when he or she has family problems is to pray.” Encountering problems in
marriage is guaranteed, written in the letter to the church of Corinth. The Apostle Paul said, “But
if you do marry, you have not sinned. And if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who
marry will face troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this” (1 Cor. 7:28). Families are the
essence of God’s grand plan of multiplying souls for the Kingdom, and prayer is vital to my
Family plan.
There is an adage that says a family that prays together stays together. Throughout my
life, this motto, spoken many times by my great-great-grandmother, etched in my mind. Who
seemed to remain on her elbows at the kitchen table. My visitations with her begin in silence as I
awaited her to finish praying. My grandmother’s prayers seemed to take forever, and many
times, she did not even know I was there. She wore out her elbows; I could imagine before
wearing out her knees, as she seemed to eat, sleep and perform all her daily duties at that table.
Unfortunately, a prayer of this nature and importance was the only prayer I witnessed, other than
church. My immediate home lacked such values, and it showed in many ways.
Remembering my grandmother’s prayer life appeared awkward though she rejoiced,
praised, and worshiped God constantly and continually. Only until I grew up and the Lord found
me did I understand her individual prayer life. Fernando said, “The most basic type of prayer in a
home is individual prayer in private.” 3 Praying to the Father teaches you to trust, have faith, and
instill awareness that you are never alone. First, solidifying your foundation with the Father gives
3 Ibid, 11.
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you the courage, strength, wisdom, and foundation to build on. I learned that the family had to
conduct their own prayer life before praying together could be meaningful. This type of prayer
life is what my wife and I instill in our home.
Prayer in my marriage, family, and with others is of utmost importance to raising a
family. Thus, family life should always value prayer as its highest degree of naturing a family.
Our children must witness and encounter both individual and family prayer time, so the
importance of modeling prayer habits will teach them the importance of praying. Making prayer
practical and an everyday experience also allows us to communicate better as the Lord becomes
consistent in our family life.
Communications
Talking to one another in love is another high degree of family life in my home and
family vision. Communicating as in prayer, we can speak to one another as we speak to God with
honor and reverence. In marriage, simple issues start with not communicating well. The Bible
tells us, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body”
(Prov. 16:24), and “Whoever restrains his words has the knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit
is a man of understanding” (Prov. 17:27). However, we also have the authority to speak life or
death to situations stated in Proverbs 18:21.
In my family vision plan, dialoguing our speaking skills is very important. Mirroring,
validating, and empathizing during our conversations are intentional. Such tools are part of my
vision in keeping us together, as words can be misinterpreted, misconstrued at any given time.
We understand there is no such thing as a perfect marriage or a perfect home. It is impossible to
have a faultless marital setting due to our sinful nature; however, having a Godly marriage is
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possible as Grace abounds much in Jesus Christ. Fernando emphasizes sharing truth in our
talking to our children, saying, “If that is the way the heavenly Father views his children, we
have a model for the way earthly parents should view their children. And because God gave us
words as the major way to communicate truth, we must express our delight over our children in
words.”4
As in 1 Corinthians 12:26, basic Biblical principles are encouraged to rejoice and honor
each other in our communications. Having to affirm our children, tell them how wonderful they
are, and saying to my daughters that they are beautiful and I love them. Of course, these
communicating skills, first practiced with my wife. Fernando states, “There should be some
regular practices in the home that communicate the idea that the parents delight in their children.
The first and last things for the day can express affirmation to children.”5
My wife and I plan Counseling engagements when necessary and for extra confirmation
to meet our needs or help with struggles that face us at times. As the Bible tells us, “The way of a
fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice” (Prov. 12:15). These marriage
counseling sessions are a great way of looking outside our understanding, getting Godly help and
His way of life.
Family Biblical Goals and Actions
As marriage sometimes can rid the home of solitude and empathy, many pastors struggle
and fall away from marriage due to the spouse’s lack of interest in the husband’s joys. As
Fernando writes, “many people have told me of the loneliness they are experiencing because
4 Ibid, 75.
5 Ibid, 67.
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their spouses do not understand them or the work they are passionate about.”6 As part of my
Family Vision Planning, my wife and I have adopted our local church as our place of stability
and accountability. We plan or have engaged in regular Sunday worship with our children and
have done so for many years.
Our family meals are done at the dinner table daily or perhaps scheduled out of the home
together as monthly family meetings dictate. My family plan encounters dinner discussion topics
with families such as sex, friends, and parenting as children should have these types of
conversations within the home first and most. And they are not afraid to speak on such topics
with the parents and vice-versa. Fernando encourages this, saying, “parents are commanded to
teach their children the Word of God “when [they] walk by the way.” In many cultures, today,
“walking by the way” would need to be revised to “driving in the family vehicle.”7
Once a quarter, we participate with other couples in couples outings to both pour into
others or allow others to pour into us. Our participation in small groups bi-weekly is a favorite
and regularly done with the family. My small group experience from creating care groups is
established as family outings as couples are together up or downstairs and the children are
together somewhere else. Meals are done together as entire families join in fellowship together.
God is our Rock
Fernando talks about the importance of believing God’s word during the most
challenging times of marriage and family calamities. God shelters us during life crises as the
Bible reminds us, “refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psa. 46:1). The Apostle
6 Ibid, 69.
7 Ibid, 101.
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Paul emphasizes our joyfulness in hope and being patient in our affliction, and more importantly,
being faithful in prayer spelled out in Romans 12:12.
Fernando said, “When disunity arose, the church took urgent steps to restore unity (Acts
6:1–6; 15:1–29). If such unity is the model for church life, how important must it be for family
life? The Bible has much to say about this unity in the church and the family.”8 Our solid ground
in God’s word is unity in Christ, where we are to stand in our marriage, the church, and life.
Conclusion
My family plan for the family is built-in and through prayer, communications, and
standing firm in the word of God where Jesus Christ Is our rock. By commenting on God’s word,
the foundation of my hope for my family is strengthened even as weeds grow around us and
catastrophes arise. Putting God first and securing my family in our love for one another, we can
help others. In the same manner, others help us.
8 Ibid, 45.
