Phillip J. Sexton III
CHMN301_D01: Foundations of NextGen Ministry
Reading Report: It's Just a Phase, So Don't Miss It
ii
Contents
Summary........................................................................................................................................1
Personal Response.........................................................................................................................3
Conclusion......................................................................................................................................3
Bibliography...................................................................................................................................4
1
When the earliest years matter in a human being's mental, physical, and spiritual
development, you should always make the most of it. A leader, parent, or responsible party must
leverage every possible resource to fulfill the responsibility we have been blessed and gifted
with. The period between the time a child is born and the time we launch them out into this
world as adults is divided into phases of life that all require distinct and specific needs that are
unlike any other phase. This is why It's Just a Phase: So Don't Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of
a Kid Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It By Reggie Joiner and
Kristen Ivy is a must-read for everyone who influences kids at any phase of their life. All 252
pages of this book show how Jesus modeled what God's love and forgiveness look like (Joiner &
Ivy 2015, 239). We have a responsibility to "leverage the distinctive opportunities of every
phase so kids will feel loved in a way that radically changes the way they love God, themselves,
and others" (Joiner & Ivy 2015, 238).
Summary
Joiner's and Ivy's book, in my opinion, has revolutionized the influence that we have over
the next generation. While this is not the first time that I have read this book, it reminded me
once again how crucial the information contained within it is. The information contained within
the covers of this book seems to be oversimplified as the authors proclaim that remembering
these four words: embrace, engage, affirm, and mobilize will connect "every parent, staff
member, and volunteer to everything they need to know about the phases" (Joiner & Ivy 2015,
50), of life that kids will experience. Directed mostly at those who influence children and teens,
this book recognizes the unique position that the readers are in. This position allows the readers
to pave the way to how adults see kids and teenagers, how non-believing parents see churches,
how believing families see their neighbors, how lead pastors see kids and youth ministry, and
2
how volunteer and team members visualize what they do each week. Not only does It's Just a
Phase tackle the readers' influence over the adults who influence kids, but it also emphasizes
parents' important role in their kids' lives. Parents have an advantage that churches will never be
able to obtain. Parents have specific insight into what their kids are going through that no one
else may know. Diving deeper into the book, Joiner and Ivy move to help readers understand
how children and teens think and learn most effectively. For example, preschoolers "think like
an artist" (Joiner & Ivy 2015, 95). "Artists experience the world through activities that stimulate
the five senses. Preschoolers blend reality with imagination and learn through participation"
(Joiner & Ivy 2015, 95). Elementary-aged kids think like a scientist; middle schoolers think like
engineers, and high school students think like philosophers. Numerous examples are given
throughout the next several chapters that model how to use this information at home and the
place of worship. These are all tools a reader can use to maximize the comprehension of the kids
they influence. Not only does this work teach us how to engage the next generation, but it also
helps us understand how the next generation will engage God. Learning how they relate to God
in the different phases of life becomes a very important piece of information that influencers
need to know in order to be intentional in the style of discipleship that should be used. I think it
is also worth noting, and not always obvious, that kids move through different phases of
development. This means that the way they relate to God today may be antiquated by this time
next year. This would require a new method of approach for a small group leader, for example,
who may be leading the same child a year from now. The book begins to wrap up by reminding
us to celebrate the big moments in the different phases of development. "Big moments are an
opportunity to celebrate our history, clarify our present and imagine our future. Big moments are
3
also an opportunity to remember God's faithfulness, celebrate God's presence, and anticipate the
future fulfillment of God's promises" (Joiner & Ivy 2015, 217).
Personal Response
I purposefully left out a review of a small portion of the middle of the book to make
comments in my response. Joiner and Ivy slam dunk an essential truth about influencing the
next generation. Chapter 11 highlights what it means to lead like love matters. "Jesus made it
clear that faith is not about rules, but about responding to a relationship" (Joiner & Ivy 2015,
182). We should not teach faith as a list of rules and theological jargon; kids and teens need to
understand that it is about knowing and loving God. They clarify that everything in life returns
to how you relate to God, yourself, and others. Children are created in the image of God. Jesus
constantly challenged people to treat others like God would want them treated. On a personal
level, I believe that this can be imposed even in our parenting. We should teach our kids to do
what is right because it is the right thing to do in the eyes of God, not because it is a rule or law.
Love trumps all things. God said that loving Him was the greatest of all commandments, and to
love our neighbor comes in a close second place.
Conclusion
It's Just a Phase is a masterful piece of literary art that can and should be used by
everyone who influences the next generation. While there are other wonderful resources out
there, not many encompass every phase of a child's life. Influence can only be as good as how
much of it is retained. This resource that Joiner and Ivy have put into our hands teaches us how
to maximize the delivery for it to stick in the lives of kids, who will one day become the
influencer over yet another generation.
4
Bibliography
Joiner, Reggie, and Kristen Ivy. 2015.It's Just a Phase, so Don't Miss It: Why Every Life Stage
of a Kid Matters, and at least 13 Things Your Church Should Do about It. Cumming,
GA: Orange Books.
