It’s Just a Phase, So Don’t Miss It- Notes
Include: Intro, Summary, Personal Response and Conclusion
Also quotes, 2-3 pages in length- include how many pages read
The point is sometimes it takes a lot of time, effort, and investment if you want to have influence
with kids.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 8.
“You have to make an ongoing investment learning about kids if you hope to have consistent
influence with kids.”
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 8.
A parent has 936 weeks between a child’s birth and graduation. We don’t want you to miss
what’s happening during the critical phases of growing up.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 10.
A phase is defined as a time frame in a kid’s life when you can leverage distinctive opportunities
to influence their future.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 10.
EVERY PHASE IS CRUCIAL.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 13.
Kids at every phase have been made in the image of God with the ability to know God.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 153.
But kids at every phase are changing physically, mentally, culturally, relationally, emotionally,
morally—and spiritually.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 153.
The way a kid relates to God changes at every phase of life.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 153.
Your job is not to redefine God at every phase, but your job is to help kids rediscover God in a
new way at each phase.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 153.
God doesn’t change. But kids do. Leaders need to think not only in terms of child development,
but also spiritual growth.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 156.
When it comes to leading the next generation, spiritual growth means helping kids mature in
their ability to relate to God.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 156.
In order to grow up and know God at every phase, kids need adults to help them rediscover how
to relate to God in every phase.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 156.
God is relevant to every phase of life. But there are aspects of God that may feel more relevant
at some phases than others. When you leverage distinctive opportunities to influence a kid’s
faith, you look for ways to appeal to their phase to help them relate to God.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 157.
One of the incredible things about a relationship with God is the way He has something unique
to show us at every phase
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 158.
The way God proved His love to humanity through time is similar to the way a child grows up
and relates to God throughout the phases.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 159.
Your goal is to show up in the lives of kids and teenagers, over time, to love them and help them
mature in their ability to relate to God at every phase.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 159.
The best way to help a kid mature in their relationship with God at every phase is to help them
relate to God in their present phase.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 159.
When you ENGAGE their interests you help a kid trust God’s character and experience God’s
family
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 162.
“You need to learn how to love God. But don’t fool yourself into thinking you love God just
because you are behaving religiously. The real evidence of whether or not you love God is not by
how much you know the Scriptures or how often you go to the temple. The authentic test of your
faith is how you treat people. Maybe even some of the actual people standing here.”
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 174.
When you lead kids to follow Jesus, you tend to define faith in terms of a relationship. Here’s a
definition of faith you might consider in the light of the Great Commandment: “Trusting Jesus in
a way that transforms how you love God, yourself, and others.”
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 178.
Your job is to simply cooperate with the mission of Jesus to demonstrate God’s story of love and
forgiveness to the human race.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 178.
The most important command is to love God- love my neighbor
Jesus came to show God’s love
Jesus loves me- I can trust Him
Kids need to know what it means to follow Jesus and to grow in their faith
For all of this to happen they first need to know that Jesus loves them and they were created in
the image of God
God loves me no matter what
God wants a relationaship with me- be more like Jesus
God is at work even when things don’t seem like it or it doesn’t make sense
I can become more like Jesus with the help of the holy spirit
As a Christian, we get to work with God in trying to help the lost
We are all called on mission with God
If I am a Christian, I should love others and show it- God loves everyone and Jesus showed this
by caring for tax collectors, sick people, prostitutes etc
--BIGGEST TAKE AWAY FOR ME—
WRITE IN THE PERSONAL PART—
Just remember, you shouldn’t prioritize your content based on how adults feel. You need to
prioritize based on how kids learn.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 204.
It doesn’t matter how much I know- I need to build relationships with the kids so thye know I
care- also teach creativr and repeat information so the kids can learn
Kids need to know how it matters before it will matter. That’s why you need to connect insights
and principles to a kid’s real world. They need to know what it looks like when someone reflects
God’s image and follows Jesus.
What does it look like to follow Jesus- give examples that make sense in their phase
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 207.
Children are made by God and made in His image- show them God’s love
All of the phases in a child’s life matter- focus on the present one- meet them there
Each phase builds on the previous one. It is important to connect with the first phase and build
upon that. Take every chance to connect with the current phase as to not take away from the
next one.
I am a parent of two boys and I am also a childrens ministry director. Although I am aware of
some of the information in the phases, this reading material helped to solidify and equip me to
explain this to parents. It is gives me a chance to utilize this for my own family.
The book's concepts are:
Embrace their physical needs, Engage their interest, Affirm their personal journey, and Mobilize
their potential.
Preschool years, elementary years, middle school, highschool
So just make sure you understand when you welcome kids, it’s like you are welcoming God.”
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 231.
When a local church makes the kids and teenagers a weekly priority, something remarkable
happens both in the community and in the church.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 233.
If every kid has been made in the image of God, and every kid matters to God, then what you do
every week in a kid’s life matters.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 235.
The phase only lasts so long- enjoy it, engage- the old phrase the days are long but the years are
short. The phase only lasts a little while- I have a responsibility to reach them for Jesus
Give parents the information so they can lead their child- need to know how each child changes
in each phase- apply what I know to my own kids and how I do ministry – kind of copied change
words- in each phase kids need to know that God loves them
The better you know each phase- the better you can connect and share truth about Jesus- they
will connect better to God- help them to grow in faith
The more you show up every week to model love and become familiar with what is happening in a
kid’s life at every phase, the more opportunity you have to nurture a kid’s faith
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 240.
When you show up in the lives of kids at every phase, it helps them see what God’s love and
forgiveness actually looks like.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 241.
FOR FUTURE REFERENCE IN MY MINISTRY----
There are many answers to that question, but here is a checklist of some things that will be true in
your ministry if you want to make the most of every phase. 1. Every age group in the church has a
specialist who champions them. 2. Age-group specialists meet regularly as a team to
discuss comprehensive issues. 3. There is a seat representing next generation ministries at the
executive leadership table. 4. -group leaders have a simple and realistic annual plan to learn
more about their age group (development, culture, pressures, etc.).
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 243–244.
5. Age-group leaders use their understanding of theology and child development to design
environments and plan production elements. 6. Your next generation ministry has one clear and
comprehensive strategy for helping parents win at every phase. 7. Next generation ministries
share the responsibility of recruiting and training weekly small group leaders for every age group.
8. Age-group ministries have an annual parent orientation to tell parents what they need to know
about the phase of their child, and about how your church can help them over the next 52 weeks.
9. Age-group ministries have a weekly strategy to communicate with parents and provide simple
resources to help them reinforce the message at home. 10. Age-group ministries have an annual
orientation for small group leaders to tell them what they need to know about the phase of their
group, and how you will help them lead over the next 52 weeks. 11. Age-group ministries have a
weekly strategy to communicate with small group leaders and provide resources to help them
connect with their group. 12. Age-group curriculum cooperates with a comprehensive strategy to
understand what has come before and prepare for what will follow after. 13. Every age group has
a scope and cycle that prioritizes content around what is more important for that particular phase.
14. Age-group leaders collectively own a strategy for celebrating critical lifestage milestones,
both in the church (Baby Dedication, Salvation/Baptism, Graduation), and in the home (first day of
school, coming of age, driver’s license). 15. Age-group leaders leverage
phase specific lifestage milestones to connect with the family, celebrate each kid’s story, and
promote future spiritual growth. One more thing … Every leader in the church values every phase
and treats every kid who breathes like they are made in the image of God.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 244–245.
Every phase has its own significant relationships, present realities and distinctive opportunities
For example as babies their mom important relationship is who takes care of them whethere its
mom, dad, grandma or whoever the primare caregiver is. A younger elementary student will likely
still be close to their parents but friends at school are important to. As middle school approaches
friends will take the primary role.
The needs of babies are being loved, fed, cared for- every need met
An early elementary student can start to feed themselves and take care of some of their basic
needs with the help of parents.
A middle school student is more independent and their opportunities are different. How I connect
with the preschoolers at my church is vastly different than how I connect with the preteens.
You have to remind everyone … It’s not babysitting. I t’s discipleship. It’s not pizza. I t ’s a
relationship. It’s not a party. It’s a platform. It’s not filling a volunteer slot. I t’s influencing
someone’s future.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 56.
You have to rally every adult who has influence to believe that kids should be a priority at every
phase.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 56.
EMBRACE preschoolers physically, it gives a first impression of a heavenly Father. ENGAGE the
interests of children, it provokes knowing God personally. AFFIRM a middle schooler’s identity, it
gives a safe place to process doubts. MOBILIZE a teenager’s potential, it develops a personal
vision for their future.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 58.
Champions of kids need to be avid learners. It is essential to know the changes that are
happening to kids so your message and ministry stay relevant.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 58.
AM I CONFRONTING THE PROBLEMS COURAGEOUSLY? Champions have difficult conversations.
It’s impossible to champion a cause without frustrating a few people. Always remember you
can’t move a boat through the water without making a few waves. There will be people who
don’t care enough, and you will have to move them until they care more. There will be people
who care about the wrong things, and you may have to move them to care about what really
matters. There will be people who really only care about themselves, and you may just have to
move them out. That doesn’t mean you should be rude or insensitive or heartless. It just means
you should be stubborn about making kids the priority. There will be times in your ministry when
what is best for a kid may be hard for an adult. But your primary responsibility is every kid at
every phase. So never put the ego of an adult over the heart of a kid.
Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid
Matters and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch,
2015), 59.
You need to know the kid- develop relationships so they know you care- will want to know what
you know- want to know Jesus
Care about the next generation- show them that you care about them- do things that matter to
them- meet with them weekly- discover their world by showing up consistently
Leaders need to know the kids to know whats going on in their world- all children face changes
whether its physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. They wont confide in us if we don’t
know them
Deuteronomy 6:6-9---- Continually reminding—first it needs to be in my heart and then I need to
communicate it to my children--
Don’t just present correct information from the bible- keep telling them, keep showing them
until they get it. Lay the foundation so they can understand more biblical truths in each phase
