Disturbing Behavior Paper Assignment
Rylie Hineman
CHMN301: Foundations of NextGen Ministry
September 2023
Introduction
It is no secret that the younger generations have a noticeably different attitude and
emotional range than the generations before. With this, comes the examination necessary for the
ministry worker, and the formulation of a plan to help guide the young learners to Jesus. The
biggest issue I find in the coming generations is emotional dysregulation, or the lack of control
of emotions. This has potential to create chaos in the classroom, and a need for individualized
attention that the ministry volunteers cannot provide. However, without diagnosing the issue,
knowing the student, and coming to a place of understanding and planning for a better
relationship, the student will not succeed. Not separating God from any of this, the ministry
worker must collaborate for the student to understand the love and deep relationship with our
Father in heaven.
Description
As said before, the biggest disturbing behavior I see with the coming generations is
emotional dysregulation. A professional way to put it, “You can think about emotional regulation
like volume control for your feelings. When you use the volume control for a device, you can
keep it from being too loud. With emotional dysregulation, your brain can’t regulate emotion
signals. In effect, your volume control doesn’t work like it should, making your emotions
“louder” and harder to manage.”1 Witnessing immediate reactions turn into outbursts of violence,
anger, or crying is becoming more common. Instead of coming to the mindset of the student, it is
easier to live a day to day of getting by rather than working together to find solutions. Emotions
can be witnessed and understood in a knowledge sense, but it takes more effort to know the
student, their background, and formulate a plan for growth.
1 “Emotional Dysregulation: How to Feel about Managing Feelings.” n.d. Cleveland Clinic.
Examples
An example that I can think of is working in the children's church area on any given
Sunday. This student has been known to struggle in school with their emotions, need an IEP
(individual education plan), and necessitates a behavioral paraprofessional. In an instant to a
negative response, their behavior can go from difficult to violent, and the result is that that
behavior is normal. The struggle to understand why they act the way they do is hard on everyone
and requires a type of effective reinforcement is unknown to the parents. This struggle stemming
from the family is known to the teachers in the children's ministry and requires another level of
understanding from the teachers that is easier to ignore than taking the time to train.
The next example is from the youth ministry, which is where I’m the most involved in.
This student is like the last, where they always have a person with them in the school for extra
support. What I can say about this student is everything that happens within the youth group is
personal, to the point they internalize everything, and it comes out in either anger or tears. The
most recent event is we had a student that moved away come and visit the youth group, this other
student was not made aware of this visit and was hurt to the point of yelling and crying in front
of the youth group. Luckily, we have more volunteers that help in this area so reaching out and
mentoring this student one on one is easier.
Solutions
For the younger ages, solutions to emotional dysregulation require a deeper understanding of
psychological and physical development, that I think should be required for those wanting to
volunteer and lead children's ministry. Joiner and Ivy write, “Emotional and moral development
can’t outpace physical development. You can’t explain how you feel before you know the words
to describe your feelings.”2 Understanding that children are not fully developed means that there
are levels of grace needed at all levels. If the student does not understand their own emotions,
how can we instruct them on how they are supposed to feel?
With the older student, our reading puts it best, “So you have to AFFIRM their personal journey.
Middle schoolers are primarily motivated by acceptance.”3 The one thing that I have noticed the
most about students in the middle school age, typically 12-16, is that they desperately want
relationships. Not necessarily sexual, but for friends and parents to know them in a deeper sense.
This is reflected in their spirituality too. How can we expect them to understand a deep and
meaningful relationship with God, when they do not have a sense of tangible relationships that
they can relate with. Ivy and Joiner write, “The best way to help a kid mature in their relationship
with God at every phase is to help them relate to God in their present phase.”4 Middle school age
requires being taught in a way that they can relate to Jesus, and that their life can also relate in a
way that God is the teacher.
Biblical Response
The biblical response to emotional dysregulation is the same as any other issue in the
church. Love the students anyway. Although it is cliché in some ways, there is nothing different
about the students need to learn God’s truth or the Gospels. 1 Peter 1:22 says, “Now that you
have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love
2 Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid Matters
and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch, 2015), 114.
3 Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid Matters
and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch, 2015), 128.
4 Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid Matters
and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch, 2015), 159.
one another deeply, from the heart."5 Although a sensitive situation when it comes to the
emotions of students, coming from a place of love, even when the response is negative, begins
the bond of trust and deeper understanding that all Christians are called to have with one another.
This is also represented in the reading, “You can actually start speaking a common language
immediately. Here are four words that can connect every parent, staff, and volunteer to
everything they need to know about phases.” 6 Collaboration based on biblical foundation means
that everyone can work together to support each other and the students.
Conclusion
In conclusion, emotional dysregulation is growing in homes, schools, and the church.
Students have a hard time regulating their own emotions in reaction to other people's responses,
and this affects their own understanding of the world around them. For ministry leaders and
volunteers, this means having to gain the understanding of the student’s psychology, while
simultaneously having to teach the Gospel. It seems like a large task, but times are changing. To
know students better means that they connect on a personal level, which in-turn sets an easier
foundation for God and Jesus to make a foundation in their life.
5 Holy Bible. ESV. (Crossway, 2011).
6 Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy, It’s Just a Phase So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid Matters
and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It, First Edition. (WORDsearch, 2015), 51.
Bibliography
“Emotional Dysregulation: How to Feel about Managing Feelings.” n.d. Cleveland Clinic.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/25065-emotional-dysregulation.
Holy Bible. ESV. Crossway. 2011.
Joiner, Reggie, and Kristen Ivy. 2015. It’s Just a Phase, so Don’t Miss It : Why Every Life Stage
of a Kid Matters, and at Least 13 Things Your Church Should Do about It. Cumming, Ga:
Orange Books.
