Attitudes and Beliefs 2
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Abstract
The ways of the counselor are many. From active listening to self-reflection and
compartmentalization, we are multi-faceted learners and ever-changing beings. Upon reflection
of my values and beliefs, I have found that the work of a counselor to always serve others is
learning to put self aside for the betterment of clients. Ethics will play a major role in my
pilgrimage as I am evolving into someone more Christ-like. Through these studies, and personal
reflection upon my own preconceived notions and values, some things have come to light
through a brief survey, that could have been mindless yeses, but instead, through inner
convictions, it has led to very real growth and cleansing of certain biases that were unknowingly
embedded since childhood. I am grateful for this experience to become a more well-rounded
individual and to seek to always be maturing in my faith, my viewpoints, my ethics, and my
development as a future part of the counseling community.
Keywords:
Counseling, growth, bias, Christ-like, values, beliefs, compartmentalization, future, ethics
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Underlying Attitudes and Beliefs Discovered through Inventory and Self-Reflection
Reaction:
After reviewing the completed personal attitudes and beliefs inventory, I found that the
most difficult prompts to answer were: interracial couple coming for premarital counseling, a
man convicted of pedophilia and court-ordered for counseling, and a person who shows little
conscience development, is strictly interested in his advancement and uses others for personal
gain. These three separate questions evoked the strongest feelings within me based on my limited
experiences with different races due to living in a small rural town, my personal values and love
of all children, and my religious/spiritual beliefs. After reflection, I have found these topics are
difficult to narrow down to only one personal value or belief and reveal a lack of
competence/education within my beginning journey of becoming a counselor.
While many questions evoked thought and reflection, the specific one with a “lack of
conscience development” (Inventory 2023) struck me as the most perplexing. It made me
automatically question how another person could use others only for what good they could
provide and/or what benefit/gain could be acquired. I am unsure how to handle such a puzzling
person because my Christ-centered and loving upbringing is in complete contrast to such. This
prompt instantly made me want to know more about how this person thought; to seek out
knowledge and further understand this human being. Campbell & Baumeister,82001; and
Ricard,82015 bring up the fact that we must have compassion and self-love for ourselves to
therefore in return love others. While I concur, it is hard to fathom an individual only being
concerned with oneself. Research from Marshall, Ciarrochi, J., Parker, P. D., & Sahdra, B. K.
(2020) explored how self-compassion ties into empathy. Their findings were in support of
previous research that females are more pro-social and empathetic than males, but in contrast to
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those findings, adolescents’ level of self-compassion is not a controlling factor in the
development of prosocial behavior or empathy. How do I foster warmth and love for others in
this individual who is only out for selfish gain?
The question addressing interracial marriage threw me in a loop when I came across it
because I was not aware of any bias or prejudice in my personal beliefs and/or values. I earnestly
believe this is a lack of cultural diversity and knowledge on my part. I thought to myself, with
my lack of exposure, I would have no idea where to start in the counseling process, other than
they are two human beings in love who will face the same challenges with in-laws, finances, and
communication as most couples do.
My heart for children and their precious innocence was shattered by the pedophile
prompt. It made my hair stand up on the back of my neck and caused me immediate anger. I
cannot fathom such a heinous crime. How do you counsel someone after that? Maybe they are
filled with remorse? Maybe they want to change their ways? What if they say they were born
that way? What if they do not want to change? What if they are only being counseled because it
is part of their probation and or as the prompt says, the court ordered? So many unknowns, and
to remain ethical in the practice, departmentalization would have to be key. However, when first
considered it, I was horrified at the possibility.
Response:
These responses came naturally to me due in part to the immediate effect of my southern
upbringing with a two-parent household, growing up the daughter of a small-town Tennessee
farmer in a county with only 3 red lights. My grandmother called every Sunday morning asking
if I would be attending church with her that day and if I was too sick to attend church, in my
adolescent years, I was also too sick to go out on Friday night. Our population was
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predominantly White with the rarely seen migrant workers on a neighboring farm. My high
school graduating class had less than 125 students, all Caucasian graduates in attendance. My
father praised his “pure white daughter-in-law” when my brother got married and told me stories
of “when colored folk were called coons and hung from trees”. While I did not agree with
previous generations’ choice of language, I did not realize that this lack of culture in my
community and my late father’s stories, were embedded into my upbringing and now upon
reflection have seemed to follow me into adulthood when panic ensued upon the thought of
counseling a multiracial couple to be married. I do believe this is a lack of experience and
knowledge because at college I was friends with all. Even now, my sister-in-law is married to a
man of color. They have 2 precious daughters whom I love dearly. However, I am ignorant
about cultural diversity. While I love and respect all persons, it does not mean I understand
and/or have a working knowledge of their similarities and differences.
Being brought up as a Christian youth, I have always known that the Holy Spirit will
direct my path if I rely on Him. I have been through many trials and tribulations and know
heartache firsthand when it comes to various traumas. I believe this belief would tie into the
reason I do not understand a lack of compassion or interest only for gain. The same rings true
with the love of Christ in me when the thought of pedophilia was presented in the prompts. A
millstone should be hung around their neck than to hurt one of My children is a foundational
verse I grew up hearing. Do not forbid the little children to come to me is another Scripture that
immediately comes to mind. I cannot imagine the horrific experience a child would endure
because of a grown-up’s actions sexually. I was raped at age 19 and had a hard time healing so
my heart immediately cries out for the child afflicted.
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Action:
Lack of compassion is a bewildering thought for me as a human being with a big heart
and a listening ear. However, I am aware of some struggles with emotional dysregulation,
narcissism, and/or other personality disorders. Perhaps our fictional client may be struggling with
something similar. Marion Sommers-Spijkerman, Mirjam Radstaak, and Farid Chakhssi (2023)
utilized a brief compassion exercise on those with dysregulation and found that the compassion
exercise did have a positive effect on participants compared to the neutral exercise. The brief
exercise did decrease the negative effect. Since the exercises were brief in nature, it limits the
findings, but imagine the possibility for change with multiple therapy sessions. As is known, a
lack of sharing a person’s feelings can lead to an enhanced self-centered demeanor, so showing
up for each counseling session can be a huge step in the right direction. I am hopeful to learn
more strategies to help clients in the future and of course, always lifting them up in prayer,
because true change comes from the Father.
I also realize that interracial couples are two individuals under the eyes of God with a
soul and purpose, and I would want to do the best for them possible for their positive future
outcomes. I would need to explore their beliefs, customs, traditions, cultural likeness, and
differences, then seek to understand both sides and how we could bring together their differences
for their well-being and the sanctity of their marriage. Current Opinion in Psychology (Volume
53), reveals that successful relationships, including interracial interactions, result when the
relationship is based on trust, forgiveness, common ground, and feeling valued by their partner.
This research also reveals that even in close friendships, people want to feel supported and
understood by others in their close circle, (Shelton, Nicole J., Turetsky, Kate M., Park, Yeji,
October 2023). Guy Itzchakov, Netta Weinstein, Nicole Legate, and Moty Amar (2020) reveal
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that active and high-quality listening will result in helping others lower prejudiced attitudes and
allow for a more open-minded discussion. Therefore, I will need to be mindful of the client’s
needs and internal feelings so as not to imply that they are judged or dismissed during our
sessions. Itzchakov et al. also found that listening, self-awareness, and difficult conversations
regarding race can lead to attitude changes in participants. It is also an invaluable skill that we
must lower our defensiveness and integrate positivity within these difficult yet constructive
learning experiences.
Throughout our lives, we learn to make choices that are acceptable in our day-to-day
lives. Our behaviors have both positive and negative consequences. Through experience, we
learn to reinforce the choices that lead to positive outcomes and limit the choices/behaviors that
are inappropriate. Think Pavlov, the dog and the bell resulting in conditioning, or basic
reinforcing of desired outcomes that we develop during our youth. Dillien, T,8Goethals,
K,8Sabbe, B,8Brazil, IA, (2019) reveal that child molesters may have an impairment in their
reinforcers. It is unknown if this rings true in every case/person due to many factors such as age,
the heterogeneous group, and furthermore, a lack of studies. Dillien, et. al also found that these
impairments were accurate in their research group and that the child molesters had a hard time
adapting when presented with change. The findings also reveal this connects to specific brain
regions and can result in overall poor choices. Discovering this conclusion helps me understand
that their “wiring” pathways are skewed. In turn, this gives me hope for the future. If we can
remedy the impairment, perhaps we can improve outcomes and futures for those struggling with
such.
In conclusion, this assignment has allowed me to discover positivity amidst the
overwhelming. It makes me motivated to seek change in myself and discover ways to help others
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succeed. Even if at first glance I think there is limited hope, I now understand that it’s not about
me. A wealth of information, strategies, and research is at my fingertips, and I am hopeful to
share this knowledge and hope with others in my daily life as a counselor. Some of my “no
ways” turned into “this could be possible” all because of self-reflection, research, and
application. I have a deeper understanding of the code of ethics and can now envision even more
success in the future.
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References
Shelton, Nicole J., Turetsky, Kate M., Park, Yeji (October 2023). Responsiveness in interracial
Interactions. Current Opinion in Psychology., Elsevier
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2023.101653
Guy Itzchakov, Netta Weinstein, Nicole Legate, Moty Amar (2020). Can high-quality listening
predict lower speakers' prejudiced attitudes?, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology,
Volume 91,104022, ISSN 0022-103. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2020.104022
Marshall, Ciarrochi, J., Parker, P. D., & Sahdra, B. K. (2020). Is Self‐Compassion Selfish? The
Development of Self‐Compassion, Empathy, and Prosocial Behavior in Adolescence.
Journal of Research on Adolescence., 30(S2), 472–484.
https://doi.org/10.1111/jora.12492
Marion Sommers-Spijkerman, Mirjam Radstaak, Farid Chakhssi, Effects of a brief compassion
exercise on affect and emotion regulation in patients with personality disorders,
Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, Volume 78, 2023, 101803,
ISSN 0005-7916. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jbtep.2022.101803
Dillien, T,8Goethals, K,8Sabbe, B,8Brazil, IA.8Reinforcement learning in child
molesters.8Criminal Behavior and Mental Health.82019;829:831–
42.8https://doi.org/10.1002/cbm.2097
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