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CULTURAL IDEOLOGIES AND FAMILY CONFLICT IN “THE FAREWELL”
MOVIE: EXPLORING HONESTY, PROTECTION, AND NEGOTIATION
ASU-Tempe
Summer 2024
Introduction
The film directed by Lulu Wang released in 2019, The Farewell tells a story which
revolves around Billi, a Chinese-American woman who returns to China secretly to attend the
wedding of her cousin. The major cultural issues that are presented in the movie concern the fact
that Billi’s relatives have decided to conceal from Nai Nai, the grandmother, the fact that she has
been given a very grave diagnosis; cancer that is almost certainly terminal. Ling’s decision fully
to conceal the fact of her illness from Nai Nai and to protect her dignity represents the conflict
between the Eastern and the Western culture that is at work here, and it is also a marker of the
collectivistic culture orientation. According to Chinese culture, family respect and order and
harmony within the family are priorities over individuality and truth (Lin, 2024). This is because
the family has not told Nai Nai the truth which is another confirmation of the overestimated
value of familial duty and group benefit, which is contrary to the western idea of a person’s right
to know the truth. In the film The Farewell, this clash is depicted through the main conflict that
occurs with the protagonist Billi where on one hand she is guided by the heart and on the other
hand she has to be the voice of reason as the quintessential American individual. In this case,
Billi who was raised with the western culture is in conflict with the Chinese family because
telling the truth would make their grandma to have a nervous breakdown (Chen & Liu, 2023).
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This particular conflict represents the general thematic opposition of the two cultures which is a
basis for decision making in the family and the mood of the film.
Everyone who appreciates small-world movies will adore The Farewell as the complex
portrayal of the family as a single entity in contrast to the conflict of moral values of its
members. The story of the film is set by Billi’s trip to China where her family arranges a
marriage so that they are all together once more but in truth they are meeting up to tell Billi that
her grandmother is sick. This is a typical case of cultural clash, which formed the basis of shock
that the family received. Despite the fact that Billi at the beginning of the movie seems to
understand that her grandmother has understood that there are secrets of a collective and
therefore the need to protect that collective; this is in relation to the bigger picture of familial
immunity as conceptualized by Pehlivan (2023). This raises the essential ethical dilemma of
whether Billi, and in fact the members, have the moral right to tell the truth, and the cultural
responsibility to “spare the elderly” (Filliettaz et al., 2024). The second level of analysis focuses
on the covert dynamics of the decision to keep the diagnosis a secret from the parents, and Billi’s
experience of cultural difference between China and the United States (Lin, 2024). This is where
the movie draws its emotional narrative, and the conflict to be found within the family, such as
Billi, the first generation Chinese American who does not appreciate the way that China deals
with death and illness (Chen & Liu, 2023). These paradigmatic oppositions capture how cultural
practices mediate the change process of the family in The Farewell.
Cultural Ideologies and the Family Conflict
Eastern Cultural Values
As for the Chinese, family is the cornerstone of one’s Self and, thus, organizes the place
of expectations in the behavior of every family member. In the society, self- interest is usually
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the least important than other values such as obeying parents, respecting the elderly and the
general welfare of the society (Dahlström, 2023). Sitting at the heart of this culture is the culture
of “face”, the preservation of one’s and family’s reputation in both the public and the private
sphere. This is a clear example of this in the movie The Farewell when the family decides to hide
the information of the sickness that they have to Nai Nai because they think that she will be
miserable if she knows about it. However, Chinese culture prefers not to tell an elder the truth
about their health status or even their death than to tell the truth about the person (Li et al., 2020).
This decision is then rationalised not as lies but as nondisclosure of what is best for the son. The
old people in Chinese families are not supposed to get upset mentally at any cost. Thus, the
decision to not tell Nai Nai about her illness thus preserves the harmony of the family rather than
speaking the truth and highlights what is considered of more value; the unity of the family rather
than the truth. This cultural notion is rooted in the Chinese culture because the need of the many
supersedes that of an individual; this is the family. Such decisions are made with the
understanding that only human happiness free of emotional suffering is possible when working
to achieve a group goal (Purwanto, 2021). This is unlike the western world freedom of person
and individual rights where freedom is only demanded where the person or his health is
involved. The Chinese culture has nurtured the culture of sacrifice and selflessness hence
families ought to observe high level of courtesy and respect to the elderly as they are the ones
who make the final decision in the family.
This kind of culture also has a major influence as to why the family did not inform Nai
Nai of the truth because in the Chinese culture they value a lot the aged. In The Farewell, the
family does not view deception as something reprehensible however as a noble cause to avoid
making the woman feel worse. Now, to Chinese families, their aged are accorded due respect and
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their standard of living is considered often even when planning for death. The family thinks that
telling Nai Nai would only be detrimental to her health and could also change any time she has
left (Siregar, 2022). This cultural perception of elders as sacred persons in family affairs
presupposes that assurance of their psychological comfort should be the younger persons’ top
priority even at the cost of telling untruths. The decision of not telling the truth about the
property for Nai Nai was a typical Chinese approach to the matter, because elders should not be
afraid or sad. In this respect, what is done to protect Nai Nai is regarded as an act of youths’ so
called emotional sponsee or support, which is directed at the psychological state of Nai Nai. This
is in contrast with the Western standards that Ernest appears to have adopted in his argument
because he believes that it is not only proper but also more "respectful" to not only expose but
also punish the defectors because a person should be answerable to him or her. In the Chinese
culture, Artemka would become angry very fast and may also exacerbate the stress of the elder
as she struggles with the mentioned drawbacks (Purwanto, 2021). It is cultural conflicts that are
central to The Farewell and through it the film articulates narrative conflict and puts its
characters in a position of choosing how to approach and treat the sick and the elderly.
Western Ideals of Honesty
In societies like the United States of America, the values of the western society include;
the virtue of truth, the principle of autonomy and freedom of choice when it comes to health
issues. This is quite the opposite to the Chinese culture of family and everyone’s happiness.
Concerning self-centeredness in the American culture, individuals are supposed to be aware of
their health condition and are capable of making their decisions considering their states (Siregar,
2022). This belief forms the premise of the American dream that liberty of body and freedom of
choice are aspects of individual value. The farewells Billi faces two cultural paradigms one side
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of her wants her grandmother Nai Nai to tell the truth no matter if it will make her grandmother
sad. Billi’s western upbringing makes her wish that her family had not decided to hide this
apparently key American value from Nai Nai, the truth. This is such a focus on truth-telling that
makes her a case of cultural conflict between American and Chinese value systems between the
individualism that she was brought up in and the familial responsibility.
These are the things that I think that are lacking in our society today that western
societies hold so dear: privacy and the right to self-determination with regard to decisions about
their lives. Like in The Farewell where Billi is a fictional character, she believes that Nai Nai
should know about her illness because it is- functional Western individualism and the right thing
to do. In particular, for Billi, it is not only the right to personal liberty of an individual to know
about the state of health of a person, but the respect. According to Stokes (2023), the Western
prescription is about individualism, people’s ability to choose their own lives, especially in terms
of health and lifespan. However, this is not entirely true, as the aforementioned view does not
align with Chinese perceptions that the right to know the truth is first and foremost about the
perceived wellbeing of the whole family (Dahlström, 2023). Here one can discern cultural
differences or cultural war, especially between the Tourist brought up Billi’s human right
struggle against her Chinese family’s more cultural ethic. It is for this reason that the movie
depicts how these two conflicting cultural values may cause a lot of psychological distress when
it comes to many of the most important choices in life, including health and death.
It Humanizes the Struggle Between the Two Ideologies in the Family
An ideological conflict is presented between the East and the West by examining the film
about Lulu’s death in “The Farewell” and the decision of concealing the disease from Nai Nai. In
the case of Chinese culture: In eastern culture, the values include respect for the elderly, family
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interests, and emotional support; on the other hand, in western culture, the values include legal,
humane, patient’s rights and patient’s confidentiality (Li et al., 2020). It is the focal point of the
film’s conflict and yet like all things Chinese, it is steeped in passion, a firm sense of right and
wrong, and a code of ethics that Billi is to encounter when the family makes this decision. Billi,
her sister and raised with individualistic and liberalized western culture that specifically
embraces truth and freedom cannot come to terms with the fact that their family is hiding the
truth from Nai Nai for her own good. For Billi, not telling the truth means answering to her
grandmother as a violation of cultural expectations she should know what is going on with her.
The emotional suffering of knowing the truth about a disease is something that the writer argues
Nai Nai should also be allowed to suffer from, if she is old enough to understand that her and her
husband’s health status has changed and that they are a unit (Siregar, 2022). Her family; with
Chinese background; thinks differently: to them, it means the speaker was shielding the
addressee and showing courtesy.
Such ideological conflict is also not only observed at the intergenerational level but also
between Billi and her family. However, between the old generation of the family; especially the
parents; respect for each other and protecting Nai Nai from discomfort and pain on the one hand,
and Billi and her peers who were raised in the liberal multicultural society where everyone has
the right to speak the truth, on the other hand. This can be observed in the attitude that Billi has
towards the parents, in which the generation of individual rights is different from the parents’
concern with concealing the family from the unfaithful man (Dahlström, 2023). The family’s
decision to shield Nai Nai is thus framed as a conflict between two competing ideologies:
Collectivism of culture in the east that emphasize the matters concerning the family and
emotional balanced and individualism of the culture in the west for instance that holds key
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values such as truth telling and self-power. Such tension describes the overall struggle that many
Chinese Americans face because they straddle two completely different cultural worlds with
their own sets of values and behaviors (Purwanto, 2021). This contrast of cultures is the critical
point in The Farewell in which characters are posed with the question of how or even if it is
rational to look after a person if you have very different understandings of what it means to do
so.
Some of the key roles are; family mediation in negotiation.
Regarding the above, another example of cultural representation of the primacy of the
family’s happiness over the individual’s is the decision of the entire family not to tell Nai Nai the
truth about her sickness in The Farewell The decision as to the extent of information and
delegation of the disease status is also a problematic one and implicates the whole family. During
the movie, there is no specific conversation about the health issues of the relatives’ choice, but
the relatives implicitly agree to the state of Nai Nai’s health as not so severe. This agreement can
be best characterized as implied mediation as the family has to find their way between cultural or
traditional and individual self. Billi’s parents, who were brought up in China, are convinced that
it will be better to spare Nai Nai the emotional trauma which would follow from the truth
(Purwanto, 2021). Nonetheless, given her Western-liberal background, Billi becomes a victim of
ethical position contradiction and, thus, wonders whether it is right to call this decision an
approach that respects Nai Nai’s right to know or not. It is vedient that her fight also reveals that
any collective decision-making is at risk when an employee has a personal culture that does not
align with the company’s culture. The position of Billi in this aspect that makes her to be in the
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middle between the Chinese traditional culture that expect her to be a good daughter and the
American culture that tell her to be a good witness.
It is the kind of decision making process that is common among Chinese families where
everyone is in search of a middle ground where everyone will benefit in a particular issue. This is
in contrast with other societies which make decisions based on the western societies which
values self-determination and liberty. That is why in The Farewell the actions of the family are
regulated by a certain cultural obligation that is above each individual’s wish (Li et al., 2020). In
Billi’s case this mediation process is again problematic since she was born in America but has to
be diplomatic with her Chinese family as per Chinese etiquette. Her concern is the decision, for
she cannot lie but this is a clash of two different cultures. The film thus portrays the social
relation of the suffering of a person, the struggle between the two moral systems of the two
cultures.
Emotional and Moral Tension
Billi's Moral Dilemma
The source of conflict within the main character named Billi in The Farewell is the clash
between the American values and norms of autonomy and truth-telling and her family’s Chinese
collectivist relational self-entanglement and hiding norms. Growing up in the United States of
America, Billi has embraced such cultural values as self-entitlement and the truth about health
and wellness. According to Billi, it is wrong to hide the extent of the grandmother’s illness from
her mother because she believes that, while it will be painful for Nai Nai to hear the truth, the
woman is entitled to the truth (Yang et al., 2022). To this, Billi has her own anxiety of not
meeting her grandmother’s expectation of not only not telling her a lie but also not to mislead her
especially when people are on their deathbed and want to make a right decision. However, her
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family’s choice of keeping it from Nai Nai what kind of morality is this choice presenting, this
moral choice is about loyalty to the family and the happiness of the elder family member. This
conflict provides the context for a number of internal conflicts because the movie is about Billi’s
two moral codes; her own as opposed to her family’s. It is not only political, but also very
dramatic; the drama where the most important personal concern, the main life’s goal for Billi, is
to have a relationship with a grandmother. Last of all, Billi has an important emotional conflict
which brings her into the situation when she has to find out the place of herself in the family.
While the aspects of Chinese social and family life progress within the film, Billi feels
her conflict even more when she observes other members of her family, who are also from the
same cultural background as her, do not hesitate to follow the decision to hide the reality. Their
actions are perceived as caregiving by her family, and it is more important for the family to
maintain the affective atmosphere than the truthfulness of their communication (Greenbaum et
al., 2020). It creates some sort of contradiction in the aspect of respecting and caring for the
grandmother as for Billi that is what various opinions on this regard have impacted. In the
Chinese traditional family, the elder’s feeling takes precedence over the individualistic right of to
tell the truth in the collectivistic choice. This conflict of ethic creates a kind of conflict in Bills’
mind as to whether she has to follow her ambition or she has to follow her family values as an
Chinese. The emotional weight of this moral dilemma is further amplified by Billi’s role as a
bridge between two worlds: On the one hand, the Western civilization of equal liberties and
truthful citizens and rights, On the other hand, the Chinese culture of filial piety and preventive
nationalism (Maestri & Monforte, 2020). Since Billi can no longer reconcile her acceptable
behavior with the perception of her family, she becomes socially dead in both America and
China. This internal civil war emphasizes her already present feelings of loneliness and
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confusion because she finds herself fighting between two different belief systems that are present
within her.
When Billi remains in China, her internal ethical struggle appears to translate into
loneliness because the only person she can speak to lacks the ability to help her understand how
to approach the subject of her family’s actions. She has a conflict between her ethnic group to
which she belongs and a principle that she has to uphold. The main conflict that Billi has;
between her personal right to make her own choices and the expectations of an Asian family; is
one of the primary themes for the film (Yang et al., 2022). She is also a victim of such problems
as those complicated responsibilities which Chinese-Americans face in their lives for they suffer
from difficulties in attempting to meet cultural expectations of being Asian and personal ethical
principles. This inner conflict standing between her decision to make a choice with her love for
Nai Nai places Billi in a situation to grapple with the question of identity and the question of
choice between belonging and truth. The decision also raises on the issue of autonomy and in
this case she raised her doubts whether it is possible to be moral and at the same time immoral to
others. Last but not the least; throughout the most dramatic part and the phase of transformation,
the Chinese conflict between individualism and the social norms is presented by the protagonist
Billi as she goes through the hall of subversion of filial piety and individual values.
Role of Emotions in Conflict
The stakes of telling a lie become visible in the light of a variety of emotions that remain
in the core of the viewers’ perception of The Farewell, which include guilt, anxiety, and loyalty.
The way that Billi struggles with an ethical conflict knowing that she cannot trick her
grandmother, the rest of the family also struggles with a conflict, though it may be emotional in
some way. Naturally, there is an element of guilt for being complicit in not speaking about Nai
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Nai’s illness decision, and unease; particularly for the millennial character like Billi. Greenbaum
(2020) says their sins, their infractions, their acts of omission as the whistle blowers are closely
intermingled with the overwhelming feeling of family responsibility as the family’s protectors
because they think that in not saving Nai Nai the emotional injustice of not reporting intends to
do her a favor rather than the formal whistle-blowing which is expected of them. Yang et al.
(2022) says this recalled situation illustrates how private emotions and cultural attitudes become
part of decision making processes. The pain they go through because they are forced to hide such
a crucial aspect from Nai Nai is the pain of knowing that one cannot do what is right in the eyes
of his conscience, but has to do what is right according to culture or the clan. These, of course,
are emotional loads, but the need to rule calmly in a family, to restore the emotional integrity of
the group, and so on, is quite relevant, and therefore the lie is justified as long as the harmonious
and joyful family life remains the main value.
However, the two feelings of guilt and moral distress are enhanced due to the fact that
she owes her allegiance to Nai Nai as seen below. Nevertheless, the voiced principles, Billi
wanted to be herself because she loved her grandmother-like character. However, she does not
fight with the lie only; she fights with the agony of thinking about how her grandmother would
act if she knew the truth. Apparently, Billi internal pressure stems from the clash between
cultural loyalty to her family on one hand and her personal ethics on the other hand which are
informed by two different cultures (Steffens, 2020). This conflict is compounded with the aspect
of Billi’s inability to persuade her family to tell the truth even though she knows that it is the
right thing to do at the right time. This challenge of decision making puts a toll on Billi
emotionally because she has to consider her role in the family and the morality of her actions.
She feels guilty and she feels helpless to change things if it means bring shame on the family.
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Billi learns about personal freedom and autonomy within a family, and that some decisions are
made for a family even if no one wants it.
Ceding to one’s guilt and anxiety is an effective way to shift emphasis in the case of the
conflict between personal and family sensibilities: density and moral loyalty. They all decided
not to upset the mother to show that the family is united; however, everybody becomes amoral in
the process (Greenbaum et al., 2020). For many of the family members, including Billi, the sin of
not telling such a drastic truth to Nai Nai has become not only a burden of the conscience but
also a real burden. Consequently, they want the family also to need togetherness and emotional
well-being over the feeling of shame they may feel. The first decision is whether to work in the
business of deceiving people while the second decision becomes an emotional burden for each
member of the family; and although Gautam’s decision is not exactly an ethical one, making the
decision an emotional one does make it more complicated. These emotions cause tension
between the self and the family because each character must decide how much they are willing to
give up for the sake of the family and on the other hand, they do not need conflict and are willing
to suffer emotionally. Consequently, the emotions in this particular case are collective, yet the
anger under discussion is individual, and the whole family has to share the accumulated tension
that is felt in relation to the truth. This shared emotional installed further cement the idea that
culture change is a generational affair.
Emotions and Ethics: A Conflict
The principal dramatic antithesis in the movie The Farewell is that the characters are
unable to convey the emotional and ethical truth to Nai Nai, and that she is sick. In Bethany’s
efforts to balance between respecting the truth and the superficiality of protecting family secrets
loyalty, guilt, and anxiety become the components of Billi’s moral decision-making process. As
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one can only view the family’s action as owing to their love and concern for their daughter, it
deprives Billi of both her child and the way out of the predicament in which the family finds
itself. For instance, in the case of Billi, the dilemma that Truth present is that on one hand, it is
her duty to respect her grandmother’s wish of keeping her from the truth on the other hand there
is the unfulfilled desire of the entire family not to inflict emotional suffering on Billi (Yang et al.,
2022). Because of the conflict between the values that Billi considers correct and the values of
her family’s heritage, she finds herself being a complete outsider to both American and Chinese
culture. This internal conflict only adds to the feeling of loneliness and erasure that she feels, as
she is trying to balance two systems which she cares about..
Also, the affected feelings such as guilt and anxiety are also part of a person’s decision
making of all the characters in the film. All family members who choose to stay quiet do it to
shield Nai Nai and this is love, but love comes with its consequences. In an effort to explain the
ethics of the actions in question the members of the family end up getting a feeling of ethical
dilemmas. Such an emotional turmoil gets well portrayed when the young members of the family
such as Billi develop moral stress and guilt for participating in such a decision. The pain
becomes an overall identity burden to each family member which adds an ethical touch or moral
dilemma of the decision to the overall process of decision making. These emotions lead to a lot
of hopelessness, and a feeling that if not checked by another level of thinking, leads to a lot of
confusion to the family when making the decision. The family has to understand the fact that a
lie can at times, cater for a more emotional need than the truth.
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Cross-Cultural Negotiation and Mediation
Subtle Family Negotiations
This is not spelt out and made an open conflict but, rather it is intertwined with family
bargaining as depicted in The Farewell. There is one aspect that Liang Kai’s film also depicts the
typical Chinese nonverbal behavior, “face saving,” to make a decision. The parents of Billi and
other relatives do not speak up for the ethical issue of Nai Nai They use tactics that make Nai
Nai accept what has been done. The family uses cultural reasons to explain to everybody that it is
right to tell a lie for the sake of the grandmother. For example, whenever Billi wants to let her
know that what her parents are planning to do is wrong, her parents then have to explain that it is
a white lie which will help to spare the life of Nai Nai emotionally. Fortunately, they happen in
silence and rumors and bombers, with the older generation encouraging the junior members to
follow the rest of the family’s choice. The decision is articulated in relation to the kinship
reciprocity; Ma and Lan’s love for Nai Nai and her comfort as well as desires are a response
move. These forms of communication are useful in preventing and managing likely
confrontations, but at the same time, they enable the family to express its expectations towards
the decision made by the seniors and elders (Bastianelli et al., 2020). Therefore, this strategy is
appropriate in the culture we are in, it encourages togetherness of the family and also it portrays
an upright respect for the elderly in the family. In the cases of deciding on children’s lives, these
negotiations make all the family members reiterate the importance of the family than the
individual’s concern.
These negotiations also cut on family order or in other words, family structure in which
the decision of elder generation is final. The elders in the family lead the clan and because they
are more knowledgeable about the Chinese culture they are the ones that issue the decree that the
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lie should be kept. These family members claim that as a group, they are protecting Nai Nai from
whatever other complications that may arise from the understanding of her disease. Busch (2022)
says one can notice that the value of lying that is typical for the Chinese family is more important
than such American values as the truth and the rights of an individual, which is often related to
the preservation of the harmony, especially of the emotional state of the family members. This is
in a Chinese manner where the young people especially the children have to listen to their
parents, especially the elders this shows that in making a group decision the consideration is not
on what one would like to do but rather what everyone feels is right. Even as the family may not
be comfortable with the lie, the family chooses to let the lie go because apart from everyone
being annoyed the togetherness of the family will be threatened. It fully depicts the aspect of
young people’s conformity with the rules set by the elders even if they are uncomfortable
(Busch, 2022).
In detail, it depicts the way in which the family detaches from confronting the lie directly
and at the same time depicts the possibility of the relationship’s dynamics when it comes to
preserving the family’s unity. Face to face confrontation is not possible and thus the family is
able to do so without feeling guilty or resentful that comes along with open confrontation when
discussing such a sensitive issue. All of them use contextual communication and there is nobody
to oppose the negative attitude that the family members have. In this case, the elders are taking a
responsible decision for the group, and the rest of the young members though they know that it is
wrong follow the example for the sake of the group harmony. Sneaky way of conflict solving
and management can be viewed as Strengths; limitations of families in decision making. While it
promises to provide support in the short run it shifts away the very psychic and ethical dilemmas
that may emerge in the future, the subject will be left with feelings of shame and uncertainty. In
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Bills case this silent contract pushes her to face the conflict between her culture and her ethical
standards. There is no external conflict which leads the family members especially Billi to
manage internal conflict on their own which only enhances the shortage of emotional conflict
solving (Greenbaum et al., 2020).
Billi and the Negotiation with Ones Identity
This is the basis of The Farewell as Billi tries to navigate life between the American
culture she grew up in and the traditional Chinese practices of her parents. Billi was raised in the
United States of America, thus he was a libertarian who was taught about freedom and people’s
rights. As a holder of the western culture values she wanted to disclose the truth about her illness
to Nai Nai because truth telling is one of the cornerstones of respect for the individual’s right and
dignity. But as soon as the movie shifts to the future the audience realizes that Billi is
experiencing the feeling of an American with Chinese value system and she cannot prevent her
parents from suffering as the Chinese cult believes that elders should not suffer. It was noted that
in the Chinese culture the harmonic state of the particular family is valued more than the right of
an individual to get the truthful information. Billi’s dilemma captures one of the greatest struggle
that many people experience in today’s global village; the clash of cultures that reveals two
indispensable yet incompatible values; honesty in one culture and family honor and support in
the other culture (Bond, 2022). They override the mother-daughter relationship as well as
challenge the essence of what it means for Billi to be a Chinese person. Bond (2022) assert that it
shows a story of an African girl struggling between two cultures and societies; the struggle
represents the moral development of two cultures.
Regarding identity, one’s relationship with her grandmother is another level to it for Billi.
Here the instincts of a Catholic are challenged by the love that Billi has for Nai Nai, this clashes
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with the American dream, the responsibilities of a family, Chinese tradition and the dignity of
man. Because of the developed emotions, the position of Billi is at stake and she becomes a
character who has to reconcile American culture with traditional Chinese culture. She being a
woman from the west she is aware of the rights of an individual as well as freedom which is not
the same with her family who focus on the general welfare of the community and protection of
the old people. Thus, subordinated to the culturally rooted confrontation, Billi’s negotiation
becomes the confrontation with a person’s ethnicity and, more specifically, the question of
whether she is Chinese-American or not. She cannot decide what is right between the individual
freedom that she has been brought up with in the west and the Chinese culture where everyone
must be responsible for the group; she has the moral what if of the need to continue the lie
(Girnyk et al., 2021). These confrontations of culture’s vision make Billi feel like she is an
outcast for both the Chinese and the Americans. This a sense of cultural disorientation makes her
come up with new ways to do kinship and faithfulness as accorded by her biracial identity.
Billi does not position herself as the fixed other, but as the hybrid subject; the American
and the Chinese. As Billi is made to sit through the family meeting to further the lie she comes to
understand the role of her family and the system in maintaining emotional health. Billi learns the
struggle between her Western and Chinese identity as opposed to having to choose between the
two as any dualism would have it. This is not a negotiation of allegiance to one side over the
other but a discussion of how she can straddle the two, and thus cross over. This shift of focus on
culture, Billi is able to start to let go of her conflict between her Canadian culture and her
Chinese family culture; she can begrudgingly accept the decision. The internal conflict of the
multicultural person is discussed and the process of formation of multicultural subjectivity in the
case when cultural switching is a continuous process rather than a choice (Gomez et al., 2024). It
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gives understanding to Billi, that does not against her cultural values and beliefs in her view of
the world as a cocktail of cultures. In this way, Billi provides reasons for her family’s decision
and at the same time challenges herself during her process of self-discovery.
Role of Emotions in Conflict
The ways in which the concept of “truth” is built up as being the very antithesis of the
“good” in The Farewell only further muddies the waters when it comes to deciding when it is
right to lie and when it is right to tell the truth, and all of this is to the chagrin of Billi who is
quite torn over her family’s decision to never inform Nai Nai of the truth. The two main
sentiments in this conflict is the feeling of guilt and the sentiment of anxiety and the sentiment of
loyalty. The isolet blames Billi for the guilt since this reduces it to meaning that she is part of the
lie, something she does not believe is right. That is why she is concerned now with the ethical
problems of it and the harm that Nai Nai may experience, if ever she would come to know that
her favorite granddaughter contributed to the ploy. One the one hand, the conflict of the film
based on the culture of family responsibility is in opposition with Billi’s need to tell the truth.
Such conflicts within reveal how the learners can have personal moral values and family and
cultural duties and see how much emotions play a role in moral decision making (Greenbaum et
al., 2020). Li Na Nai is an important character in the film as evidenced by the fact that Billi is
very close to her, and lying is considered as betrayal even if it is for the benefit of Nai Nai as
seen from the movie.
Self-guilt feelings become more acute and anxiety even more intense during the second
season especially as Billi gets more involved in the con. Each time Billi is with Nai Nai she
wants to run and hide but instead she has to fake a smile and pretend that everything is OK inside
her and at the same time choose if she is to let the lie be the truth. This internal conflict then
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becomes a strain, an illness in the emotional realm that Billi is unable to ignore and yet which is
causing her considerable physical and psychological pain, and therefore make it very difficult for
her to enjoy any time with her grandmother. This is the case because Billi is a good daughter
who wants to protect her family and will uphold the decision made for the family even if she
does not want to be part of it. Continuing the movie, she gets the lesson on the subject of loyalty
and the last moment of recognizing that the family’s choice was made with love to spare Nai Nai
from more suffering. This change in her outlook frees Billi from conforming to her family’s
culture of not talking about when they died when she tries to explain to her husband why she did
not tell him when her mother died. However, the dynamics of the emotions make Billi to come
face to face with a reality of how the emotions influences the relations with the family and self-
identification and moral functioning (Morley et al., 2022).
The primary reason that the moral conflict that exists in the case of Billi’s family does not
reduce the dilemma to providing a plan to the audience is that it encompasses one of the most
crucial aspects of human lives. It ranges from guilt, to loyalty and that is why her character
shows how there are levels of liberty in decision making especially regarding other people’s
lives. It is not only a moral issue but a physical one as well as emotional one; the health of Nai
Nai as a family is not only protecting her physically but also her spirit. The lastly acceptance of
the family decision by Billi also show the consequent of the moral decision making based on
emotions rather than reason. In the context of the film, by the end of the film, Billi’s inner
transformation is into accepting the relations of the family no matter how truth actually lies. How
emotions work in relation to moral decision making of a person is best depicted when the woman
submits her urge to make the family happy ahead of her desire to tell the truth to the family.
However, emotions are not just the obstacles to reason that limit choice, they are also necessary
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to understand the many aspects of moral decision making where family relationships are the
focus (Lee et al., 2022).
Generational Conflict and Resolution
Generational Clash: Family Rights vs. Autonomy
Strangely, the question of generation division, which is present in The Farewell, is shown
by the conflict of values of the old and new generations. The old people are depicted by Billi’s
parents and the relatives of Nai Nai; this elder generation loves Nai Nai and protect her from the
truth about her situation such that she would die if she knew she is sick. For them, it is alright to
deceive Nai Nai because it is rooted in traditionalism where the group’s welfare is paramount
than individual’s welfare that will never be realized. They con this will affect the family
harmony especially telling the truth to Nai Nai and that the truth will be worse than the lie itself.
This attitude is based on the principles of ancient China when family is considered to be the most
important and shielding oneself from other people’s emotions is more important than anyone’s
ability to express himself or herself (Avruch, 2022). But the new generation or the generation Y
or Billi if you may have a different understanding of the situation. She considers the deliberate
concealment as a conscious act while the act of denying a person information and thus
preventing him from making his decisions is also an act. The conflict of generations reflects the
collision of the values which are typical for East and West, where the respect to parents and
grandparents, and the collectivistic values are also typical for the Chinese society.
Billi, as an American raised girl, embraces all the principles of the “Western” world, and
these are freedom of choice and the truth. For her, telling Nai Nai a lie is quite painful as it is
against her right to live or die without been informed the truth. Thus, Billi is against the family
decision because the emotional shield at the cost of the truth, she believes, is negative values that
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disrupt belief in trust and respect. Raised in a social context that embraces the rights of an
individual, Billi faces the struggle of the modern world between the collectivistic and the
individualistic cultures of Alaska the Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man 116. On the one
hand, the older family members want to preserve the emotional balance; on the other hand, Billi
represents the idea that the ethically correct behavior is the cornerstone of relationships
(Gabrielova & Buchko, 2021). This generational conflict in The Farewell cannot be bridged to
attempt to find out how the traditional Chinese Confucian values intersect with the new open-
minded ethos. Therefore, the conflict is based on the concern that is characteristic of the
contemporary stage; the conflict of interest of individual and general societal interest in the
increasingly integrated world. The movie shows how these cultural differences affect people’s
relations particularly with their families and relations, the interaction spheres that become so
painful when two different and rather opposite cultures meet.
Generational Differences: Bridging the Gap
This is why, while the film is full of intergenerational conflict, in The Farewell,
reconciliation and compromise are found, and perhaps one day these large cultural disparities
might be ironed out slightly. Getting and achieving the goal primarily put a conflict in front of
Billi at the beginning and then she learned that lying is not always wrong and may stem from
good intentions and love. Slowly watching her family, Billi comes to understand that parents and
grandparents try to shield her and her sister from the truth because they want to maintain peace
within the family more often than not. This is a slow process but it is a shift of the subject’s
attitude towards his or her own ethnicity. But let us not that Billi ever stops believing in the right
of self-determination, but she slowly begins to understand that her parents, like most first-
generation immigrants, are motivated not by his or her self-interest, but by love on behalf of the
22
common good. In this regard, for instance, The Farewell demonstrate that culture is not rigid and
thus transforms as generations come and go, (Rudolph et al., 2021). This progressive perception
opens the way for the myth that the generations are two hostile groups that exist only to destroy
the spirit of the other. It means that the film depicts the change that can also work in other ways
as the youth can at least know what the certain cultures represent.
Moving forward in the movie, the older generation is also willing to some extent to
comprehend Billi’s agitation, which is, in fact, the more liberal aspect of the American way of
life. In sexually harassing her, they do not violate the conventional cultural standards; instead,
they try to persuade her that whatever they are doing is to her disadvantage because they are
shielding her; however, neither the decision to lie nor the one to sexually harass is spontaneous.
This is a rather reluctant acknowledgement of the other viewpoint that identifies the younger
generation and, thus, holds out the possibility of détente between the two. This generation gap is
still evident but rather than being portrayed as a nearly impenetrable barrier it is not. Rudolph et
al. (2021) assert that the picture is an illustration of how attitudes of understanding and
acceptance of each other’s differences may change and the family has to deal with it. The
cultural values may emerge in response to new perspectives and, in this case, both generations, in
their turn, compromise, which evidence the intergenerational conflict (De la Porte & Jensen,
2021). It also portrays the transformation of the manner in which the elderly in a family receive
the opinion of the young people and transform to be more open to the new ideas of the youth.
Rudolph et al. (2021) state that the movie explains how people of different generations have to
work through their conflict and begin to listen and respect each other.
23
Conflict Resolution: Suppressed or Resolved?
In The Farewell the moral conflict is unresolved and this reflects the cultural tensions
within the family. This means that the “controlling ethical issue” at the heart of this movie is left
hanging, as the family all agree to hide the truth from Nai Nai about her granddaughter. From
Billi’s point of view this is only a partial solution to the moral claim though it is temporary. The
last scene of the movie does not try at all to explain what is right and what is wrong in the case of
the presentation of a loved one as being sick or not. It is actually depicting the everyday conflict
between the right of the individual to know and the prevention of the suffering of family
members. The general tendency of people to stay away from the confrontation of an ethical
debacle than denying the truth is seen in the scenario (Avruch, 2022). This kind of conflict
resolution does not offer a clear resolution for the audience, which means that he or she had to
come up with ethical conclusions regarding the role of cultural practices in the contemporary
system of values. Such remainders suggest that the type of cultural conflict that can be left
unresolved is best dealt with cautiously.
It is important to note that there is one more ethical concern unresolved, that of choice
and self-determination; Nevertheless, there is also the growing suggestion that the family is
rescued from the root of evil by being unified and by having the genuine love between its
members. The decision they make is portrayed as a loving one but the move they make
complicates things for Billi even more about her morality. Actually, the kind of change of the
emotions that is depicted in the movie is that while Billing subscribes to the family view, she
feels uneasy saying the lie. To sum up the conflict remains open, the conflict is not solved not
because there is no solution, but because it is the process of the conflict of the principle and the
duty. The subject is silenced in the interest of the peace, the viewers are left to ponder what
24
cultural and ethical implications of such decisions there might be for themselves. This movie The
Farewell also depicts people’s comprehension that not all ethical concerns have solutions and
they have to be discussed in the constantly changing family and culture contexts (Magano et al.,
2020). The same with the film the end is not very clear, but it tells that there are some traditions
which society has to struggle with the family endlessly. Magano et al. (202) assert that the
Farewell captures the mechanism of cultural processing within the kin network and the way
identity maintains balance even while dealing with the main ethical questions.
The Impact of Cultural Adaptation
Billi’s Personal Growth
The Farewell also captures the reverse method of change of second generation Chinese
American known as Billi who mostly battles between American and Chinese assimilation. Chen
(2023) says one can see a woman in two worlds Billi faces a conflict between what she was
taught and what she feels the western set of values where freedom and honesty are paramount
clashes with the Chinese set of values where the group comes first and emotions have to be
suppressed. This internal war is one with the power that comes from cultural shift and
development that usually includes it. The act of returning to China for Nai Nai’s wedding puts
the man in the face of her Chinese identity which alters her perspective on values in equal
measure. According to Lin (2020), this conflict between her Western and traditional ethnocentric
perceptions of performing the role of a daughter and a submissive woman is used to pose
philosophical questions about the clash of two ethnocentric cultures, and lead to her personal
growth. This gaze makes Billi realize that there could be things that she did not like about her
traditions and yet they were not wholly empty of love and death. In the movie she has to find for
herself what it takes to live in two different cultures at the same time.
25
At this moral and cultural clash Billi is changing throughout the movie as well. At some
point she begins to understand that learning one culture is not equal to forgetting the other, but
how to live with both. Rejecting it and refusing to take it at the beginning, Billi does so but not
because she is fully supporting her family’s choice, but as she realizes how much her family
loves her. This is a crucial shift in her character development because for most of the film Billi
learns to be assertive and to defend her family, but she also learns that fighting or embarrassing
her family in public is not the right way to do it. Thus, in the worst period of the film, and finally
at the end of the film, Billi comes to know the existence of such a thing as the second generation,
and therefore the conclusion that a person has two cultures within, and it is possible to be a
citizen of two countries as well as having double identity and double belonging to the respective
cultures; one’s own and one’s family’s (Jessop, 2021). Looking at the movie in this way, it does
a good job of depicting Billi’s growing and shifting, not only as a process that occurs within the
individual, but also as a process by which the individual comes to understand that cultural
essences are constructed at intersections and that people are never just one thing. This made her
to stay with her family and seek for a way to meet the middle even if she did not agree with her
family in setting up new understanding on cultural negotiations and the emotional part of the
family members.
Culture in conflict with the family
The family in The Farewell portrays cultural transition in the course of the conflict
concerning Nai Nai’s illness and death. First of all, there are tremendous responsibilities for not
informing Nai Nai about the truth because it brings them back to the Japanese ethic of concealing
such a fact from the family member which might lead to a heart attack. However, Billi rejects
this approach, and questions the morality of the decision, the relatives alter the approach based
26
on the conflict between submission to the ethical standards and the tips of living in a culturally
diverse society. The family does not change its mind directly to accept the lie as proper but for
Billi and with it the family gets to know why she is uncomfortable and in a way agrees to it. In
this adaptation the opponents also stick to their culture norms but the members of one family can
try to change their way of thinking to some extent either in the public or private practice (Chen &
Liu, 2023). It is this feature that shows the family’s ability to cope with the dialectics of the new
change in cultural family values and social generations. But the older generation has not changed
their attitudes towards the beliefs and values and hence, personal emotional responses underscore
the fact that people are often constrained to question the norms even if such norms create
discomfort.
The Farewell does not find the fine line between the truth in the characters of the story
but they learn to tolerate the conflict. The hope for the restoration of the youth into the life of the
village does not end in the victory, however, of certain values of European civilization over the
Hawaiian traditional values and not in the moral victory of Ka’ahukani but in the factual
recognition that, to remain united, the family of Hal excellent has no choice but to lie. Also, Billi
erases visions in conflict and understands why her family did it even though she does not agree
with it. The real plot of the film is that people do not use reason to settle disputes but rather
develop certain working strategies. The unity is also preserved, but the moral conflict is omitted,
which means that the ways families handle cultural conflicts are portrayed: either they learn how
to address these conflicts or they learn how to tune them out (Pehlivan, 2023). They are not
erased in the end but become part of the new family dynamic of multicultural existence of the
lives. The dramatic conflict is never really solved in the movie [the last scene of Billi dancing
with her family at the wedding reception is a symbol of acceptance and not a victory for Billi] In
27
order to explain the Chinese minced message that “sometimes people have to endure a bitterness
for the sake of the family happiness”.
Conclusion
The movie, The Farewell, presents the more profound discussion of the cultural attitudes
towards the family relationships and primarily the opposition of the collectivist and individualist
value systems, as Billi tries to find her way through the family’s deception about the
grandmother’s illness. The movie is an assertion of the author’s arrant unimpeachable and
stubborn beliefs and freedom and democracy versus a collective Chinese tradition of not telling
ugly truth about one’s own family. At the center of such a struggle of feelings and emotions there
are such features of Chinese organizational culture as “face-saving” and the intergenerational
conflict between the seniority endowment and the modern liberal post-Maoist orientation which
emphasizes individual rights and moral autonomy. It also both highlight how mediation is an
essential part of avoiding conflict, or handling conflict, as the viewer sees how the entire family
learns to change their mind at Billi’s expectation, though no conclusion is made for that specific
issue. The Farewell brings real issues into the light in REAL families especially the Chinese
Americans when it comes to crisis The portrayal of Chinese culture in America of the earlier and
later generations meets the audience’s expectation of divorce and family conflicts. Lin (2022)
stated that it tells how other aspects of social interaction including communication, bargaining
and consideration of peoples’ feelings can be useful when families find themselves at odds with
the values of the community they live in. Thus, within the context of rather naturalistic
Orientalist approach the film advances the possibility of transcending the process of Seeing
Cultural Other as Alien and the longing for cultural similarity and human closeness when
cultural practice is understood as separate from attitude or sentiment. Through the portrayal of
28
the tragedy of choosing between individualism and collectivism the Farewell depicts the
difficulty of the issue especially in the modern multicultural society and how Americans
particularly face this two tested principles, let alone the new family settings. Of course, the
movie’s ending is more of compromise between these two sets of values including all have to be
saved, and this is where the families’ fight is staking.
29
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