DEVELOPING AND MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS
• Levels of Relational Closeness
Acquaintances: most relationships; involuntary associations
Friendships: few relationships; voluntary attractions
Intimates: rare relationships; valuable allegiances
• Relational Stages – Knapp’s Phases of Formation and Dissolution
Formation (“coming together”)
oInitiating: associative interaction
oExperimenting: discovering commonalities
oIntensifying: discussing future possibilities
oIntegrating: conjoining goals and purposes
oBonding: establishing commitments
Dissolution (“coming apart”)
oDifferentiating: identifying significant differences
oCircumscribing: allowing for different activities
oStagnating: loss of common ground
oAvoiding: deliberately seeking separation
oTerminating: discontinuing the relationship
• Theories Explaining Why People Pursue Relational Connection and Closeness
Social Exchange Theory (Thibaut & Kelley, "Shopping for relationships"):
oCost-Reward Analysis
oComparison-Level of Alternatives
oWhy relate?
The bright side of relating – relationships can yield satisfying rewards
The dark side of relating – You’re a real bargain, but I will retain you
only as long as you continue to pay off.
Social Reciprocity Theory (Cialdini, "Favors generate obligations"):
oConditional exchange of services
oBusiness-like contractual arrangement
oWhy relate?
The bright side of relating – relational partners can dependably serve each
other
The dark side of relating – Our relationship has worth to me only as long
as you equitable uphold your end of the deal.
Personal Needs Theory (Maslow, Schutz, Herzberg, “You – meet my needs!”):
oSecurity needs – longing for belonging, acceptance, and love
oSignificance needs – yearning for appreciation, esteem, and influence
oWhy relate?
The bright side of relating – fundamental needs can be met in relationships
The dark side of relating – Since you exist for the purpose of my need
satisfaction, our relationship has value only as long as you’re meeting my needs.
