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Socioemotional Selectivity Theory and the Macrodynamics of Friendship: The Role of Friendship Style and Communication in Friendship across the Lifespan Kevin B. Wright & Brian R. Patterson

This manuscript examines the relationships among friendship style and several relational

variables across three different age cohorts from a socioemotional selectivity theory per-

spective. Participants (N ¼ 144) from three age groups were asked to evaluate a signifi-

cant friendship in terms of quality of talk, level of emotional support, and perceptions of

homophily. The results indicated that individuals with discerning friendship styles had

longer friendships than people with independent or acquisitive styles. In addition, older

individuals were more likely to have a discerning friendship style. The data were incon-

sistent with any significant differences for homophily. Those with a discerning friendship

style reported higher levels of emotional support than either independents or acquisitives.

Acquisitives had the highest evaluations of the quality of talk followed by discerning and

then independents. The results provide some support for socioemotional selectivity theory,

although several limitations and directions for future research are noted.

Keywords: Friendships; Lifespan Communication; Socioemotional Selectivity Theory

Over the last two decades, scholars have become increasingly interested in how the

nature of friendship changes throughout one’s lifespan (Field, 1999; Matthews,

1986a; Patterson & Bettini, 1993; Patterson, Bettini, & Nussbaum, 1992; Rawlins,

Kevin B. Wright (PhD, 1999, University of Oklahoma) is an associate professor in the Department of Com-

munication at the University of Oklahoma. Brian R. Patterson (PhD, 1992, University of Oklahoma) is an

associate professor in the Department of Communication Studies at West Virginia University. Correspondence

to Dr. Kevin B. Wright, Department of Communication, 610 Elm Avenue, Room 101, University of Oklahoma,

Norman, OK 73019, USA (Tel.: þ1-405-325-5946; Fax: þ1-405-325-7625; E-mail: [email protected]).

Communication Research Reports

Vol. 23, No. 3, November 2006, pp. 163–170

ISSN 0882-4096 (print)/ISSN 1746-4099 (online) # 2006 Eastern Communication Association

DOI: 10.1080/08824090600796377

1989, 1992, 2004; Roberto & Kimboko, 1989). Rawlins (2004) contends that friend-

ships exhibit continuities and discontinuities with earlier patterns of communication

across the lifespan. Due to their voluntary nature and relatively peripheral social

positioning, friendships may be more subject to modification depending on the

circumstantial life events than family (Patterson, 1995; Rawlins, 2004). Numerous

variables are associated with changes in communicatio0n between friends as the

relationship progresses through the lifespan, including relocation, changes in finan-

cial and social capabilities, and health and mobility (Rawlins, 2004). According to

socioemotional selectivity theory (Carstensen, 1998), despite these life events, indivi-

duals are guided by the same essential set of socioemotional goals for friendships

throughout life, such as the need for novelty, support, and meaningful interaction.

However, as individuals age and gain more life experience, the priority of these goals

changes, often altering perceptions of relationships and relational behaviors.

The current manuscript investigates friendship at different points in life, using

socioemotional selectivity theory as a framework. Specifically, differences in friend-

ship duration based on friendship style and age cohort are examined. In addition,

the study focuses on differences in perceptions of homophily, emotional support,

and quality of talk based on friendship style.

Socioemotional Selectivity Theory and Friendship across the Lifespan

Socioemotional selectivity theory (SST; Carstensen, 1998; Carstensen, Isaacowitz, &

Charles, 1999; Lockenhoff & Carstensen, 2004) is a framework for studying friend-

ships at different points in the lifespan. According to SST, individuals are guided by

the same essential socioemotional goals throughout life, but the priority of these

goals changes as a function of the perceived time left in life. Changes in time per-

spective and associated changes in social preferences influence the composition of

people’s social network partners as they age. SST posits that younger individuals

tend to be future-oriented when developing relationships, and they are interested

in forming expanded and diverse social networks in an attempt to gain novel

experiences, information, and new social contacts (Lockenhoff & Carstensen,

2004). By contrast, older people, due to the perception they have relatively limited

time, tend to prefer smaller social networks comprised of familiar, emotionally

close, and meaningful relational partners (Lockenhoff & Carstensen, 2004). SST

predictions are consistent with findings from communication studies showing that

older individuals may take a more discriminating view of friendship than younger

individuals (Patterson & Bettini, 1993; Patterson, 1995; Patterson et al., 1993;

Rawlins, 1992).

Friendship Style

Another longitudinal aspect of friendship is friendship style. Matthews (1986a,

1986b) interviewed older adults about their friendships over the course of their

164 K. B. Wright & B. R. Patterson

lifespan and described a number of friendship styles that reflect how these people

managed or conducted their friendships over time. The discerning style describes an

individual who has had relatively few friends over their lives. They tend to form

friendships that are enduring and related to specific people. They are thought to

maintain contact with these friends in spite of divergent lives and far-flung geogra-

phy, and they are often reluctant to form new friendships because new relationships

do not measure up to the tried and true friendships. Individuals who have inde-

pendent friendship styles tend to make friends easily and often. For them, friend-

ship is less closely linked to the person but rather tends to be associated with

activities or specific life contexts. When friends no longer do things together, the

relationship may decay. People with an independent friendship style tend to have

a larger network of friends throughout life than people with a discerning style.

Finally, a third type of friendship style, acquisitives, is a combination of the two

previously described types. They tend to have a core group of close friends that

have existed for a long period of time, but are open to new friendships based

on activities and certain contexts.

It is unclear from Matthews’s (1986a, 1986b) research whether these styles are

enduring traits throughout life or if friendship styles changes as a function of age

and life experience. In terms of SST, older individuals are expected to exhibit a more

discerning friendship style, while younger individuals are expected to exhibit a more

independent friendship style. Because the acquisitive friendship style is a combination

of both discerning and independent, it is unknown how it is related to friendship

duration. The following research questions were proposed in an attempt to clarify

the impact of friendship style on friendship duration and to assess whether friendship

style varies in terms of age:

RQ1: Are there differences in the length of friendships across the lifespan based on friendship style?

RQ2: Does friendship style differ by age group?

As discussed previously according to SST, the goals that individuals have for form-

ing relationships should differ as a function of age (Carstensen, 1998). Based on SST,

diversity (or dissimilarity) should be an important characteristic in choosing a friend

among younger individuals, while similarity should be more important for older

individuals. One of the most basic motivations for relationship formation is simi-

larity or homophily (Burleson, Samter, & Luccetti, 1992; Kandel, 1978; McCroskey

& Richmond, 1996). However, it is uncertain to what extent perceptions of homo-

phily are altered by friendship style. Similarly, SST posits that older individuals seek

more meaningful relationships than younger individuals. Two variables that have

been associated with meaningful friendships are perceptions of emotional support

and quality of talk (Field & Minkler, 1988; Leatham & Duck, 1990; Rawlins, 2004;

Rook & Ituarte, 1999). However, it is unknown whether these perceptions differ in

terms of friendship style. The following research question addresses these issues.

RQ3: Are there differences in perceptions of homophily, emotional support, and perceptions of the quality of talk based on friendship style?

Socioemotional Selectivity Theory and Friendship 165

Method

Participants

The researchers distributed the survey questionnaire to 182 individuals from the

targeted age groups by asking undergraduate students enrolled in communication

classes at a mid-sized eastern university to distribute the questionnaire to people

in the surrounding community. Of these, 144 usable questionnaires were returned.

Fifty-seven of the respondents were male and 87 were female. The average age of

the sample was 46.57 (SD ¼ 17.59). The sample also represented a variety of occupa-

tions. For the purposes of analyzing differences between broad age groups, the

researchers grouped the respondents into categories of young (n ¼ 43; age

M ¼ 25.07; SD ¼ 6.14), middle (n ¼ 60; age M ¼ 47.32; SD ¼ 4.40), and old

(n ¼ 41; age M ¼ 68.02; SD ¼ 8.24), using age 35 as the cut-off point between young

and middle-age and age 55 as the cut-off between middle-age and old age.

Questionnaire Measures

Friendship length

Participants were asked to choose a friend whom they have known for most of their life,

indicate how long they had been friends with this person, and answer the survey ques-

tions based upon their perceptions of this friendship. The average length of the friend-

ship was 13.84 years (SD ¼ 6.51) for the young age group 31.13 years (SD ¼ 8.24) for

the middle-age group, and 40.56 years (SD ¼ 16.67) for the older age group.

Friendship style

The researchers assessed friendship style by providing a description of Matthews’s

(1986a, 1986b) independent, discerning, and acquisitive styles of friendship. Parti-

cipants were asked to indicate which of the descriptions best represented their style

of friendship.

Homophily

The researchers assessed perceptions of homophily with McCroskey and Richmond’s

(1996) Measure of Perceived Homophily instrument. This instrument assesses two

dimensions of perceived homophily—attitude and background homophily—with a

seven-point semantic differential scale (alpha ¼ .91 and .88, respectively). Scale

items included descriptors such as ‘‘At this time in my life, my friend was ‘like

me=unlike me,’ ‘similar to me=different from me,’ and ‘culturally different=culturally

urally similar.’’’

Emotional support

The researchers measured perceptions of emotional support using the Emotional

Support Scale (Weber & Patterson, 1996). This 20-item instrument uses a five-point,

166 K. B. Wright & B. R. Patterson

Likert-type scale to determine the degree to which the participants agree or disagree

with statements about a relational partner’s ability to communicate emotional

support. Items include statements such as ‘‘they are good listeners when I am upset’’

and ‘‘they show genuine concern for my problems.’’ The reliability coefficient for this

instrument was .96 (alpha).

Quality of talk

The researchers assessed the quality of talk using the quality of talk subscale from the

Iowa Communication Record instrument (Leatham & Duck, 1990). These items used

a five-point semantic differential scale and included items such as, ‘‘the quality of

communication was ‘relaxed=strained,’ ‘in-depth=superficial,’ and ‘guarded=open.’’’

The reliability coefficient for this instrument was .94 (alpha).

Results

The first research question was concerned with whether there were differences in the

length of friendships across the lifespan based on friendship style. A factorial ANOVA

used friendship length as the dependent variable and friendship style as the inde-

pendent variable with age group included in the design as a control. An ANOVA

indicated there were differences in the length of a friendship based upon friendship

style, F (2, 136) ¼ 3.87, p < .05. There was no significant interaction effect between

friendship style and age group. A Games-Howell multiple comparison procedure

(robust to unequal group sizes) indicated that those people who had discerning

friendship styles had longer relationships (M ¼ 39.55 years; SD ¼ 14.89) than those

who had independent (M ¼ 26.59 years; SD ¼ 13.58) who or acquisitive (M ¼ 26.99

years; SD ¼ 14.72) friendship styles.

The second research question was concerned with the relationship between age

group and friendship style. A chi-square analysis indicated a relationship between

friendship style and the age groups for the sample, v2 (4) ¼ 14.89, p < 01. Younger

and middle-age individuals were more likely to report having an independent friend-

ship style, middle-age and older respondents were more likely to mention having a

discerning friendship style, and younger people were more likely to indicate an

acquisitive friendship style than the other age groups.

The third research question asked whether there were differences in perceptions of

homophily, emotional support, and perceptions of the quality of talk based on

friendship style. The researchers conducted a series of ANOVAs to assess whether

homophily, emotional support, and perceived quality of talk scores differed based

on friendship style. Age group was included in the design as a control. The results

indicated no significant interaction effects between friendship style and age group

for any of the dependent variables. An ANOVA indicated that there were no differ-

ences in terms of homophily scores based on friendship style, F (2, 136) ¼ 1.18,

p > .05. However, in terms of perceptions of emotional support, an ANOVA indi-

cated significant differences in perceptions of emotional support based on friendship

Socioemotional Selectivity Theory and Friendship 167

style, F (2, 136) ¼ 8.12, p < .001. A Games-Howell multiple comparison procedure

indicated that individuals with an acquisitive friendship style perceived more

emotional support from their friends (M ¼ 75.10; SD ¼ 7.34) than individuals

with independent (M ¼ 68.14; SD ¼ 7.53) or discerning (M ¼ 69.62; SD ¼ 8.95)

friendship styles. In addition, in terms of the relationship between friendship style

and perceptions of the quality of talk, an ANOVA found differences in perceptions

of the quality of talk scores based on friendship styles, F (2, 136) ¼ 6.74, p < .01.

A Games-Howell multiple comparison procedure indicated that individuals with a

discerning style of friendship had a higher quality of talk scores (M ¼ 27.42;

SD ¼ 4.90) than those with independent friendship styles (M ¼ 26.32; SD ¼ 4.58)

lower quality of talk scores than those with acquisitive friendship styles (M ¼ 28.81;

SD ¼ 3.96).

Discussion

The purpose of this study was to explore the perceptions of friendships at different

points in the lifespan from the perspective of socioemotional selectivity theory. Specifi-

cally, the researchers assessed whether friendship style was related to friendship length,

age, perceptions of homophily, emotional support, and quality of talk. The finding that

friendship length was associated with friendship style provides support for Matthews’s

(1986b) friendship style categories. Yet, the question of whether these styles are endur-

ing traits throughout the life span or whether they change as a function of shifting rela-

tional goal priorities needs to be assessed empirically in future research. In the current

study, the finding that younger and middle-age individuals were more likely to report

having an independent friendship style while middle-age and older respondents were

more likely to mention having a discerning friendship style is consistent with SST,

and it provides some support for the idea that older individuals often shift to a more

discerning friendship style. However, future researchers need to examine friendship

styles longitudinally to assess whether the change as a function of relational goal

re-prioritization due to changing time perspective.

Research question three asked about differences in perceptions of relational variables

based on friendship style. There appears to be little difference in terms of perceptions of

homophily based upon friendship style. One explanation for this finding is that indi-

viduals may tend to be attracted to friends who are similar in terms of attitudes and

background, regardless of whether the person is a long-term friend or a friend at a cer-

tain point in one’s life. The results also showed that individuals with discerning friend-

ship styles reported higher levels of emotional support than those with independent

and acquisitive styles. Because the majority of individuals with a discerning friendship

style were older, this finding supports SST in that older individuals should place a

higher priority on highly emotionally supportive friendships than younger individuals

due to having less of a future-oriented time perspective.

In terms of quality of talk, discerning styles reported higher perceptions of quality

than independents. This finding is consistent with SST because those with discerning

styles (predominately older individuals) may feel that they cannot afford to lose the

168 K. B. Wright & B. R. Patterson

friends they have. Because they are important sources of emotional support at a time

in life when this is a high priority goal, the loss of these relationships may be socially

crippling. Interestingly, the highest perceptions of talk quality were found among

acquisitives. Perhaps because acquisitives have a core group of friends and are willing

to seek out new friendships, their social network may include individuals who offer

both stable, emotionally close interaction and more novel interaction. Future

research would benefit from examining the effects of acquisitive vis-à-vis discerning

friendship styles of important outcome measures such as quality of life and psycho-

logical well-being.

Limitations and Future Directions for Research

The current study has a number of limitations. First, the researchers measured partici-

pant perceptions of homophily, emotional support, and quality of talk at one point in

time, and this did not allow for an assessment of how these variables change over the

course of a friendship. Future research would benefit from following friendships long-

itudinally to assess whether these variable fluctuate as friends experience significant life

events (e.g., marriage, moving to another state, and divorce). Second, the researchers

relied on a convenience sample of participants from the different age groups, and this

limits the ability to generalize the study findings. Third, the age groups created by the

researchers were somewhat arbitrary for the purposes of comparing groups in the data

analysis. Perhaps means of assessing age cohort membership other than chronological

age, such as common experiences with significant life events, would be a better way

to classify individuals into age cohort groups. Future researchers should continue to

assess how communication patterns and perceptions of relational partners change

throughout the course of a friendship. Finally, the use of descriptions of Matthews’s

(1986a) friendship styles may have introduced a social desirability bias. Future research

would benefit from developing a friendship style measure.

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