Writing Portfolio
Richard Holmes
RevisionCommentfromProfessor.docx1.Project one comment
-Good integration of source detail to support your ideas.
Add 2-3 in-text citations that quote the source, in your next draft
-Good work overall
2.Project three
Paragraph beginning with "In the two articles..." is confusing because you have introduced three. So, make more clear which two? you are referring to. Similarly, you use Goldsmith and Twenge in some detail but you barely connect them to Tannen at all.
Interesting efforts in conclusion; can you revise toward the assignment direction, "Your conclusion should hint at where you hope to take the conversation with your next and final persuasive research project. "
Alphabetize WC page.
3.Novel project
-keep indents consistent for each paragraph (0.5 inches)
-review assignment requirements (you are missing secondary source content)
· Below are the most frequently given feedback items for these two projects.
If desired, these comments may be inserted and used to create an additional Draft, before your own project is commented on.
----- // ----- // ----- // ----- // ----- // ----- // ----- // ----- // ///// Project 4: ///// --Missing Labels, “Project 4, Draft ____" (*important*) --Intro. is missing thesis, focus, and call to action. It should also include a connection to source(s). Show readers clearly that is a research paper, and what specific, persuasive goal your project will focus on.
--problem established, but missing your own position, suggested solution, or specific call to action
--consider your university level audiences and assume readers are familiar with the issue, then clarify what new, persuasive, or original content you are adding about the well-documented subject
--Copy-paste strategy from previous projects makes this draft weak and unclear. Copy-paste is a start, to build on further, not an end-product. Review SafeAssign--> View Originality Report carefully. --end paragraphs with your* words, not others', reiterating to readers your project's purpose
--Persuasive thesis. (Must make a clear, specific claim, with which other people may reasonably agree or disagree. Must be clear about consequences of (dis)agreement and what is at stake). --Missing important requirement for all projects: "Introduce, frame, evaluate sources deeply, thoroughly, carefully. Not acceptable to name-drop only." *important*
--sources used must be individual sources and college-level (real people with credentials, first and last names, published articles, dates) rather than faceless organizations, personal blogs, or obscure web sites --MLA format required (this applies to in-text citations, WC page, margins and line spacing) --not acceptable to claim, "people say / people think" without source evidence to support these claims --fix font and margins (12 point Times New Roman, 1-inch) --insert page numbers ///// Novel Project Draft 3: ///// --most comments above ----^ , also apply here
--Instead of just "adding on," organize next draft more clearly into a persuasive research-based argument regarding why the book is important or interesting to all readers. Remove filler content like "so far..." from Draft 1.
--Missing Draft number (*important*) and/or Project name
--insert page numbers --missing WC page / include novel itself as an entry in Works Cited page --more focus needed on why, how this novel appeals to all readers of Global English --missing two required secondary sources, that are used substantially (not just one quote or sentence about them and done) --missing three in-text citations from the novel, with page numbers and your commentary about why the citations stand out and are relevant, important, to readers today --don't narrate the action of the novel in so much detail; choose only a few parts, discussing why they are powerful or important or noteworthy --add more background on the author (applies to novel author and other sources)
