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Chapter 5 Child-Centered

Play Therapy

The best discovery the discoverer makes for himself . Ralph W. Emerson

The child-centered play therapy approach is an encompassing phi- losophy for living one’s life in relationships with children—not a cloak of techniques the play therapist puts on upon entering the playroom and takes off when leaving, but a philosophy resulting in attitudes and behaviors for living one’s life in relationships with chil- dren . It is a way of being based on an intentional commitment to cer- tain beliefs about children and their innate capacity to strive toward growth and maturity . Child-centered play therapy is a complete therapeutic system, not just the application of a few rapport-building techniques, and is based on a deep and abiding belief in the capacity and resiliency of children to be constructively self-directing . Children are quite capable of appropriately directing their own growth, and they are granted freedom in the play therapy relationship to be themselves in the process of playing out feelings and experiences . Children create their own histories in the playroom, and the thera- pist respects the direction determined by each child .

The child-centered play therapist believes deeply in and trusts explicitly the inner person of the child . Therefore, the play thera- pist’s objective is to relate to the child in ways that will release

Landreth, Garry L.. Play Therapy : The Art of the Relationship, Taylor & Francis Group, 2012. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/capella/detail.action?docID=958282. Created from capella on 2024-05-24 21:15:31.

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the child’s inner-directional, constructive, forward-moving, creative, self-healing power. When this philosophical belief is lived out with children in the playroom, they are empowered and their developmental capabilities are released for self-exploration and self-discovery, resulting in constructive change . The child-centered therapist is concerned with developing the kind of relationship that facilitates inner emotional growth and children’s belief in themselves . Child-centered play therapy is an attitude, a philosophy, and a way of being with children rather than a way of doing something to or for children .

Personality Theory What a child knows—some intellectual knowledge or some “important” information the therapist can provide—is not what is important to personality development; how a child feels about herself is what makes a significant difference in behavior. Each child possesses a personal perceptual view of self and the world that is reality for the child, and this view of self provides a basis for individual functioning in whatever daily experiences occur in the child’s life . This view of self and the limitless potentialities within each child are the basis for the theory of personality structure on which the child-centered approach to play therapy is based . These principles provide a framework for understanding the complex intricacies of the therapist’s beliefs, motivation, and attitude that form a lifestyle approach to children .

At this point, my tendency is to go on writing about children and the wonderfully fresh and exciting ways they approach the creative living of life; but a discussion of theory is necessary . An understanding of and adherence to a system of theoretical person- ality constructs provides consistency to the therapist’s approach to children and enhances the therapist’s sensitivity to the child’s internal world of experiencing .

I feel the need to point out that a counseling theory is based on a theory of personality and behavior that is not age restricted . In teaching my play therapy courses, I have at times been disturbingly puzzled by the reactions of some graduate students and mental health practitioners who are excited about utilizing a child-centered

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approach in their play therapy sessions with children, but do not believe that the same theoretical constructs of personality and behavior are applicable to adolescents and adults in counseling experiences . A counseling theory is an inclusive theory of develop- ment that explains personality development and behavior across all ages and does not change when applied to older or younger persons . How is it possible to believe that a 5-year-old child has an innate self-actualizing tendency and, therefore, the therapist needs to fol- low the lead of the child, and then in the next moment explain that a 30-year-old adult is predisposed to cognitive vulnerabilities that lead to psychological distress, and therefore, the therapist’s role is to educate the adult about what is rational or irrational? I am unable to sort through the incongruities generated by the application of such opposing views to individuals dependent on their age .

Having said that, let’s return to an exploration of theory . The theoretical constructs of child-centered play therapy are focused on the inner dynamics of the child’s process of relating to and discovering the self that the child is capable of becoming . The child-centered theory of personality structure is based on three central constructs: (a) the person, (b) the phenomenal field, and (c) the self (Rogers, 1951) .

Person The person is all that a child is: the child’s thoughts, behaviors, feelings, and physical being . A basic proposition is that every child “exists in a continually changing world of experience of which he is the center” (Rogers, 1951, p . 483) . As the child reacts to this changing world of experience, the child does so as an organized whole, so that a change in any one part results in changes in other parts . Therefore, a continuous dynamic interpersonal interaction occurs in which the child, as a total system, is striving toward actualizing the self . This active process is toward becoming a more positively functioning person, toward improvement, inde- pendence, maturity, and enhancement of self as a person . The child’s behavior in this process is goal directed in an effort to sat- isfy personal needs as experienced in the unique phenomenal field which for that child constitutes reality .

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Phenomenal Field The phenomenal field consists of everything the child experiences (whether or not at a conscious level), internal as well as external— including perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors . The phe- nomenal field forms the basis of internal reference for viewing life . Whatever the child perceives to be occurring is reality for that child . Therefore, a basic tenet in child-centered play therapy is that the child’s perception of reality is what must be understood if the child and the behaviors of the child are to be understood . The child’s phenomenal world is the point of focus and must be understood if a significant relationship is to be established with the child . The child’s behavior is viewed as being goal-directed in an effort to satisfy personal needs as experienced in the unique phenomenal field which for the child constitutes reality .

Whatever the child perceives in the phenomenal field, there- fore, assumes primary importance as opposed to the actual reality of events. Because reality is subjectively determined, the child’s behavior must always be understood by looking through the child’s eyes. Thus, the therapist intentionally avoids judging or evaluating even the simplest of the child’s behaviors (i .e ., a picture , stacked blocks, attempts at spelling, playdough creations) and works hard to try to understand the child’s internal frame of reference . If the therapist is to make contact with the person of the child, the child’s phenomenal world must be the point of focus and must be understood . The child is not expected to meet pre- determined criteria or fit a set of preconceived categories .

The constantly changing interaction of the person of the child— thoughts, behaviors, feelings, and physical being—with the expe- riential environment is such that the child’s perspective, attitude, and thoughts are constantly changing . This dynamic has great significance for the therapist, who may see the child only once a week . The child this week is in some ways different, and the thera- pist must “catch up .” Events that were reacted to one way last week may be reacted to differently this week, as the child’s inner world of reality changes . This constantly changing integration within the child seems to explain the tremendous resiliency within chil- dren and the generating effect on hope . Life is a constant process

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of personal dynamic experiences, and children are constantly experiencing an internal reorganization of thoughts, feelings, and attitudes . Therefore, past experiences are not experienced with the same degree of intensity or impact day after day . Thus, the thera- pist has no need to take the child back to past experiences, because the child has grown since former events, and past experiences no longer have the same impact they formerly had . Therefore, the therapist allows the child to lead, to take the current playroom experience to where the child needs to be .

Self The self is the third central construct of the child-centered theory of personality structure . Rogers (1951) hypothesized that every child exists in a continually changing world of experience, of which the child is the center . The child reacts as an organized whole to this field as it is experienced and perceived, which for the child is reality . As the developing infant interacts with the enviro nment, especially through interactions with significant others, a portion of the child’s total private world (perceptual field) gradually becomes recognized as “me” (differentiated as the self), and concepts are formed about himself or herself, about the environment, and about himself or herself in relation to the environment . The self, then, is the totality of those perceptions of the child .

According to Patterson (1974), the child can become a person and develop a self only in interactions with other persons . The self grows and changes as a result of continuing interaction with the phenomenal field . Rogers (1951) described the structure of the self as

[A]n organized configuration of perceptions of the self which are admissible to awareness . It is composed of such elements as the perceptions of one’s characteristics and abilities; the percepts and concepts of the self in relation to others and to the environment; the value qualities which are perceived as associated with experi- ences and objects; and the goals and ideals which are perceived as having positive or negative valence . (p . 501)

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The child’s behavior, therefore, is generally consistent with the child’s concept of self .

As the child develops, the child experiences reactions and evalu- ations from parents and significant others, and perceives himself as good or bad dependent on these evaluations . A child whose parents react to him as stupid and incapable comes to view himself as stupid and incapable . How can a child feel capable if no one responds to her as capable? How can a child like herself if no one likes her? How can a child trust herself if no one trusts her? How can a child feel acceptable if no one accepts her? How can a child feel wanted and important if no one wants to be with him? How can a child believe in himself if no one believes in him? How can a child discover what self-responsibility feels like if no one provides opportunities for him to assume self-responsibility?

Rogers hypothesized that the self grows and changes as a result of continuing interaction with the phenomenal field . The child’s behavior is viewed as being consistent with the concept of self . Therefore, the play therapy experience can facilitate posi- tive change in self-concept . In the child-centered play therapy relationship, a child experiences an adult who genuinely cares for him, accepts as he is, wants to be with him, believes he is capable, trusts him to make responsible decisions, believes in him as a person, and returns responsibility to him in an atmosphere of permissiveness and acceptance . In this kind of safe relationship, the therapist becomes a significant person in the child’s life . The child then internalizes the therapist’s attitudes and responses to the person he is and comes to feel adequate, accept himself, believe in himself, see himself as capable, trust himself, like himself, and act responsibly .

A Child-Centered View of Personality and Behavior Rogers (1951) articulated 19 propositions regarding personality and behavior that provide a conceptual framework for under- standing human development, behavior, and motivation . His

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hypotheses reflect the philosophical core of child-centered play therapy and also explain the facilitative nature of the therapeu- tic relationship and how psychological change occurs in a child . These propositions, summarized below as they apply to children, describe a child-centered view of the person and behavior of the child and provide a basis for relating to children in play therapy .

Every child exists in a continually changing world of experi- ence, of which the child is the center . The child reacts as an orga- nized whole to this field as it is experienced and perceived . This perceptual field is, for the child, “reality .” As the child develops and interacts with the environment, a portion of the child’s total private world (perceptual field) gradually becomes recognized as “me” (differentiated as the self), and the child forms concepts about himself or herself, about the environment, and about him- self or herself in relation to the environment .

The child has a basic tendency to strive to actualize, main- tain, and enhance the experiencing self . The resulting behavior is basically the goal-directed, emotionally influenced attempt of the child to satisfy needs as experienced, in the field as perceived . Therefore, the best vantage point for understanding the child’s behavior is from the internal frame of reference of the child.

Most of a child’s behavior is consistent with the child’s con- cept of self, and behaviors inconsistent with the self-concept are not owned . Psychological freedom or adjustment exists when the self-concept is congruent with all of the child’s experiences . When this is not the case, the child experiences tension or maladjust- ment . Experiences that are inconsistent with the self-concept may be perceived as a threat, resulting in the child becoming behavior- ally rigid in an effort to defend the existing self-concept .

When there is a complete absence of any threat to the perception of self, the child is free to revise his or her self-concept to assimi- late and include experiences previously inconsistent with the self-concept . The resulting well-integrated or positive self-concept enables the child to be more understanding of others and thus to have better interpersonal relationships . The child moves from external motivation to internal motivation that incorporates

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realization of the value within himself or herself (Rogers, 1951, pp . 481–533) .

Rogers’ 19 propositions are further delineated as follows:

The child is viewed as: 1 . Being the best determiner of a personal reality . The child’s

perceptual field is “reality .” 2 . Behaving as an organized whole . 3 . Striving toward independence, maturity and enhancement

of self . 4 . Goal directed in an effort to satisfy needs . 5 . Being behaviorally influenced by feelings that affect rationality . 6 . Behaving in ways that are consistent with the self-concept . 7 . Not owning behavior that is inconsistent with the self-concept . 8 . Responding to threat by becoming behaviorally rigid . 9 . Admitting into awareness experiences that are inconsistent

with the self if the self is free from threat . (Rogers, 1951, pp . 481–533)

An understanding of and grounding in these theoretical con- structs of personality and behavior provide the play therapist with the necessary dimensions for understanding the person and behavior of a child and help the play therapist to see more clearly what a child sees in her world of perceptual reality . Thus, the role of the play therapist in the play therapy relationship will be more consistent and effective .

Key Concepts of Child-Centered Play Therapy Child-centered play therapy is both a basic philosophy of the innate human capacity of children to strive toward growth and maturity and an attitude of deep and abiding belief in children’s ability to be constructively self-directing . It is based on an understanding of the observable natural forward movement of the human organ- ism through developmental stages of growth that are normally progressive and always toward greater maturity . This tendency is innate and is not externally motivated or taught . Children are naturally curious, delight in mastery and accomplishment, and

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energetically live life in their continual pursuit of discovery of their world and themselves in relation to the world .

Speaking of the process of self-discovery and self-growth, Moustakas (1981) said:

The challenge of therapy is to serve, to wait with interest and con- cern for the child to activate the will and to choose to act, to dare to pursue what is present in the way of interest and desire . This calls for unusual patience and an unshakable belief in the child’s capacity to find the way, to come to terms with the restraints and tensions of living, a belief in the child’s powers to listen inwardly and to make choices that are self enhancing . (p . 18)

An inherent tendency exists within children to move in sub- tle directness toward adjustment, mental health, developmental growth, independence, autonomy of personhood, and what can be generally described as self-actualization . The basic character or nature of children’s lives is activity . Their approach to living is an active process, and this can perhaps best be seen in a close observation of their play, which is active and forward moving, not passive , toward enhancing self-sufficiency in the activity of living life . This inherent push toward discovery, development, and growth is readily observable in the developmental stages of infants and young children . When they experience difficulty or frustration in their attempts to accomplish or master a physical developmental task, infants naturally strive forward toward mastery using their own unique coping skills and the propensity to try again with renewed vigor, effort, and determination .

Infants are not content to continue crawling from one place to another . An inner urge to stand up, followed by a developmental forward-moving continuation of the inner striving, results in their learning to walk . This is not a conscious decision, a well-thought-out plan, or the result of some significant adult’s efforts to teach walking . It occurs spontaneously as a result of growth and development inher- ent in a child’s nature, if the necessary conditions are present . This inherent directional process does not automatically ensure a smooth succession of transitional steps . The infant pulls up to a standing position, turns loose, takes a faltering, wobbly step forward, falls, stands up, wobbles forward for a few steps, and falls again .

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Although some pain may be experienced in this process, the infant continues this forward-striving directional process toward growth . It is not necessary for someone to explain to the infant what causes the pain, what is being done the wrong way, how his behavior affects significant adults, or what behaviors need to be changed in order to achieve the desired goal . This directional striving will occur spontaneously when the infant is ready to take the next step, even though a period of temporary regression to crawling may occur . The infant will try again and again until walking is mastered to his satisfaction . Because in these experi- ences the infant has been responsible for self, the accomplishment and accompanying satisfaction are internalized and strengthen the self . This continual striving for growth makes mature behavior more satisfying than immature behavior .

Although this example may seem to be an oversimplification of a very complex process, it clearly highlights the point that chil- dren are capable of self-determination . This propensity to move in the direction of increasing independence, self-regulation, and autonomy and away from control by external forces is not limited to developmental accomplishments in infants or toddlers but can be seen as a primary motivating force of the whole person at all developmental levels and phases of life as individuals strive for meaningful interpersonal relationships and enhancement of self . Children have a far greater capacity for self-direction than is readily recognized, and they are capable of making appropriate decisions .

A powerful force exists within every child that strives con- tinuously for self-actualization . This inherent striving is toward independence, maturity, and self-direction . The child’s mind and conscious thoughts are not what direct her behavior to areas of emotional need; rather, it is the child’s natural striving toward inner balance that takes the child to where she needs to be:

The behavior of the individual at all times seems to be caused by one drive, the drive for complete self-realization . When an individual reaches a barrier which makes it more difficult for him to achieve the complete realization of the self, there is set up an area of resis- tance and friction and tension . The drive toward self-realization continues, and the individual’s behavior demonstrates that he is

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satisfying this inner drive by outwardly fighting to establish his self-concept in the world of reality, or that he is satisfying it vicari- ously by confining it to his inner world where he can build it up with less struggle . (Axline, 1969, p . 13)

Adjustment and Maladjustment The inner drive toward self-realization and affirmation of the worthwhileness of self are basic needs, and each child is striving continually to satisfy these needs:

An adjusted person seems to be an individual who does not encounter too many obstacles in his path—and who has been given the opportunity to become free and independent in his own right . The maladjusted person seems to be the one who, by some means or other, is denied the right to achieve this without a struggle . (Axline, 1969, p . 21)

Manifestation of these principles can readily be seen in the lives of some children, such as in the following case of Matt .

Seven-year-old Matt walked methodically beside me into the counseling center, hands stuffed into his pockets, shoulders hunched, and a hollow look on his face . He looked older, defeated by the jarring, awful reality of having been locked in a hot, smelly, dark jail cell on the upper floor of a county government office building for 4 days, without anyone with whom he was familiar to comfort him . His parents lived within walking distance of the jail, but they had not visited him, their reason locked somewhere deep inside and either unknown to them or deliberately withheld .

When I saw Matt standing in the cell earlier that morning, he tried hard to appear calm and almost nonchalant, but the fright in his eyes and the bright red half-circle outlining his bottom lip betrayed his inner anxiety and revealed a frightened little boy, the victim of a system not prepared to understand or provide for the needs of children and that had no juvenile detention facility .

Earlier in the school year Matt had been referred to the Center for Play Therapy by his second-grade teacher for “aggressive behavior, short attention span, frequently tardy, and being moody .” Test

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results were inconclusive but did indicate satisfactory academic progress potential . He was recommended for play therapy and walked the one block from his school to the center, accompanied by a school staff member, once a week for six sessions . When Matt missed his seventh session, I called the school and was informed that he was in jail . Matt had been caught stealing empty soft drink bottles from a grocery store and, as this was the second such inci- dent in a month, the county judge, having been given legal juris- diction over Matt by his parents because, “We can’t do anything with him,” declared Matt incorrigible and ordered him sent to jail .

I persuaded the court to release Matt to my custody, and now here we were in the play therapy room together again . As he banged out his frustration on Bobo, he said, “Sometimes a guy gets to wondering if his parents really love him, and what you gotta do is go out and do something kinda bad . Then when your parents find out about it, if they beat up on you, you know they love you .” Matt was striving to enhance his self and yet, at the same time, was pushing the very thing he wanted farther away because his behavior made him unacceptable to his parents .

Matt wanted to feel that he was a lovable person, to be accepted and included in the family as a worthy member . He found him- self, however, in a home environment where the relationships were not lovingly supportive enough to provide the security and sense of belonging necessary for him to demonstrate directly in a constructive way that part of himself that longed to be appreciated and responded to as a lovable person . Because Matt was not able to express outwardly his inner drive to enhance his self, he resorted to indirect and ultimately self-defeating ways of affirming the worthwhileness of his self .

Axline (1969) explained the difference between well-adjusted behavior and maladjusted behavior this way:

When the individual develops sufficient self-confidence…con- sciously and purposefully to direct his behavior by evaluation, selectivity, and application to achieve his ultimate goal in life— self-realization—then he seems to be well-adjusted .

On the other hand, when the individual lacks sufficient self-confidence to chart his course of actions openly, seems content

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to grow in self-realization vicariously rather than directly, and does little or nothing about channeling this drive in more constructive and productive directions, then he is said to be maladjusted… . The individual’s behavior is not consistent with the inner concept of the self which the individual has created in his attempt to achieve complete self-realization . The further apart the behavior and the concept, the greater the degree of maladjustment . (pp . 13–14)

All maladjustments result from an incongruence between what is actually experienced and the concept of self . Whenever a child’s perception of an experience is distorted or denied, a state of incongruence between the self-concept and experience exists, resulting in psychological maladjustment . Incongruence between the child’s self-concept and experience basically results in incongruence in behavior . Therefore, the child-centered play therapist is intentional about looking through the child’s eyes to understand the child’s perception of self and experiences and builds an understanding and accepting relationship in which the child feels safe enough to express himself and explore experiences as he perceives them . As previously stated, children possess the capacity to experience the factors of their psychological malad- justments and the capacity and the tendency to move away from a state of maladjustment toward a state of psychological health in the context of a safe relationship .

Therapeutic Conditions for Growth This forward-moving, actualizing tendency previously described is the central tenet of the child-centered approach to play therapy and was succinctly described by Rogers (1980) as “Individuals have within themselves vast resources for self-understanding and for altering their self-concepts, basic attitudes, and self-directed behavior; these resources can be tapped if a definable climate of facilitative psychological attitudes can be provided” (p . 115) . The attitudes of the play therapist that form the basis for the thera- peutic relationship and facilitate the release of the child’s inner resources for growth are genuineness (being real), nonpossessive

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warmth (warm caring and acceptance), and empathy (sensitive understanding) (Rogers, 1986) .

Being real The child-centered play therapy relationship is not an experience in which the therapist assumes a certain role or tries to do things in a prescribed manner . That would not be real or genuine . An attitude is a way of living life, not a technique to be applied when it seems to be needed . Genuineness is a basic and fundamental attitude that is for the therapist a way of being rather than a way of doing. Realness is not something to be “put on” but, rather, a “living out” of self at the moment in the relationship . The extent to which this is possible is a function of the therapist’s awareness of his own feelings and attitudes . Genuineness or realness implies that the therapist possesses a high degree of self-understanding and self-acceptance and is congruent in what he feels and what he expresses in the relationship . This concept does not imply that the play therapist must be fully self-actualized; rather, it is a statement regarding the importance and necessity of the therapist having insight and being congruent in the relationship with the child .

The play therapist must have ample self-understanding and insight into personal feelings in areas such as rejection, which may be experienced in relation to a child’s behavior in the play- room . This area of self-understanding is especially important for beginning play therapists, whose experiences and value systems may result in their experiencing feelings of rejection or even dislike of a child who exhibits messy behavior, tries to manipu- late, or is verbally abusive to the therapist . A play therapist who lacks self-understanding of her own motivation in this area may inappropriately project rejection to the child . Play therapists should work through such issues in supervisory or consultation relationships outside the play therapy experience .

Realness is being aware of and accepting one’s own feelings and reactions with insight into the accompanying motivation and being willing to be oneself and to express these feelings and reac- tions when appropriate . At such times the therapist is being real

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or genuine and is experienced by the child as a person, rather than as a professional . If the therapist feels uncomfortable about some- thing the child has asked her to do, expressing those feelings of being uncomfortable is being very real . Children are sensitive to the play therapist’s way of being and are keenly aware of any false front or professional role presented . The experience of being with an adult who is living a life of realness at the moment with the child can be very rewarding for a child . Such an experience was summed up by one child who said, “You don’t seem like a coun- selor . You just seem like a real person .”

Warm Caring and Acceptance A discussion of warm caring and acceptance must first focus on the necessity of the play therapist’s acceptance of self . The time with the child is not an objective relationship in which some kind of mechanical acceptance of the child exists but, rather, is an extension of self as being acceptable to self and relating on that basis . Children are nonassuming in their acceptance, and their acceptance is basically unconditional . I have learned from my experiences with children that they like and accept me for the person I am, for the way I am . They do not try to analyze or diagnose me . They accept me, my strengths, and my weaknesses . Experiencing their acceptance has freed me to be more accepting of the person I am . How can a play therapist extend to a child gen- uine warmth if the therapist does not feel that for himself? How can the therapist be accepting of the child if the therapist experi- ences self-rejection or nonacceptance of the person he is? How can I respect the child if I do not respect myself? Acceptance, like genuineness, is an attitude, a way of being, an extension of the person of the therapist and all that the therapist is at that moment .

This kind of acceptance and warm caring is characterized by positive respect for the child as a person of worth . The therapist experiences a genuine feeling of warmth and caring for the child which is unconditional . This caring is experientially felt; it is not some abstract attitude of respect and acceptance of the worth and dignity of other persons one can pick up from readings or

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graduate courses in counseling or psychology . The therapist really cares for the child and experiences a genuine prizing of the person of the child, so what occurs is an absence of evaluation or judg- ment . Experiential caring is based on interactions within a rela- tionship, getting to know the person of the child, and therefore does not automatically exist at the deepest levels possible within the first few minutes of encountering the child . Neither is it likely, as Rogers (1977) has pointed out, that the therapist will experience unconditional caring at all times . Unconditional caring and accep- tance is not an all-or-none characteristic but is best thought of as a matter of degree, experienced in relation to the child out of the play therapist’s deep, abiding feeling for, faith in, and appreciation of children’s lives . The child is respected and prized just as much when she is defiant, moody, angry, or resistive as when she is coop- erative, happy, or pleasantly engaging the therapist (Figure 5 .1) .

Figure 5.1 Warm caring and acceptance grant the child freedom and permission to be fully himself or herself in the emerging togetherness of the relationship in the playroom. The therapist really cares for the child, and there is an absence of evaluation or judgment.

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Warm caring and acceptance grant the child freedom and per- mission to be fully himself in the emerging togetherness of the relationship in the playroom . The therapist does not wish that the child were different in some way . The attitudinal message con- sistently projected is, “I accept you as you are,” not “I’ll accept you if… .” Acceptance does not imply approval of all of the child’s behavior . As is discussed in Chapter 11, many behaviors are con- sidered unacceptable in the playroom necessitating the setting of therapeutic limits . However, the central concept here is that none of the child’s behaviors is evaluated as making the child any more or any less worthy of being accepted or prized as a unique person. Such nonevaluative acceptance is absolutely essential to establishing the kind of relationship in which the child feels safe enough to express and reveal her innermost feelings and thoughts .

Most children have a strong desire to please adults and are quite sensitive to even the most subtle cues of rejection by the therapist . Children are keenly aware of and sensitive to whatever the play therapist experiences . Therefore, the importance of thera- pist self-awareness and self-understanding needs to be emphasized again . Children are egocentric and are likely to internalize a thera- pist’s feelings of boredom, impatience, veiled criticism, or other nega- tive behaviors as rejection of themselves . Because children have been developmentally dependent on “reading” nonverbal communication cues of adults, they are sensitive to whatever the therapist is feeling .

If the therapist experiences some inner tenseness as the child takes a fist full of playdough and repeatedly squishes it in the cup of brown tempera paint, that will be sensed by the child and will inhibit further experiential communication and exploration . Impatience with a child who stands in silence in the middle of the playroom and is slow to begin playing may show in a slightly different tone of voice or verbal expression such as, “You don’t want to play with any of the toys here?” or a suggestion, “Beth, maybe you would like to play with some of those dolls right there .” Beth hears these as messages of rejection, that she is not pleasing the therapist . In response to a 10-year-old boy filling the nursing bottle with water and sucking on it at length, the thera- pist’s reaction may be, “Now what! He’s too big to do that! Maybe he’s regressing, and I should do something to stop it .” Such a

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critical reaction may show in raised eyebrows, squinted eyes, or clinched teeth and will be quickly perceived by the child as dis approval . The child’s reaction, then, is likely to be feelings of guilt for engaging in “baby” play . If the therapist readily responds to some play activities by the child and not so readily to others, the child takes note of that as disapproval of the play that is not readily responded to .

These are subtle but significant forces in the play therapy rela- tionship, and they have a major impact on the degree of accep- tance experienced by the child . Warm caring and acceptance are basically an attitude of receptiveness toward the experiential world of the child and facilitate in the child an awareness that the therapist can be trusted .

Sensitive understanding The typical approach in most adult–child interactions is character- ized by an attitude of evaluation of children based on what is known about them . Seldom do adults strive to understand the internal frame of reference of children, their subjective world . Children are not free to explore, to test boundaries, to share frightening parts of their lives, or to change until they experience a relationship in which their subjective experiential world is understood and accepted. Sensitive understanding of children occurs to the extent the therapist is able to put aside his own experiences and expecta- tions and appreciate the personhood of children, their activities, their experiences, their feelings, and their thoughts . According to Rogers (1961), this kind of empathy is the ability to see the world of another by assuming the internal frame of reference of that per- son: “To sense the client’s private world as if it were your own but without ever losing the ‘as if ’ quality—this is empathy , and it seems essential to therapy” (p . 284) .

Attempting to sensitively understand children from their view- point may be one of the most difficult and also potentially most critical factors of the therapeutic relationship, for as children feel understood by the play therapist, they are encouraged to share more of themselves . Such understanding seems to have a mag- netic quality for children . As they feel understood, they feel safe

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enough to venture forth further in the relationship, and their per- ception of their world is changed .

This process of coming forth and familiar objects taking on new meaning is graphically described in the delightful story of The Little Prince (de Saint Exupery, 1943) . The fox in the story tries to convince the little prince to tame him (to establish a rela- tionship with him) . He tells the little prince his life is monot- onous and boring, that he hunts chickens and men hunt him . There is no change in expectation or the routine . He describes the chickens as all being just alike, and all the men as just alike . Then the fox says,

But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life . I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others . Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground . Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow . And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread . Wheat is of no use to me . The wheat fields have nothing to say to me . And that is sad . But you have hair that is the color of gold . Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you . And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . (p . 83)

The similarity between this description and the impact an understanding and accepting relationship in play therapy can have in changing a child’s perception is striking . What a wonder- ful description of the healing power of a relationship to alter a person’s perception of the world and in the process that which had little meaning takes on new and significant meaning . Perceptions are changed as a result of meaningful relationships.

In a play therapy relationship, the therapist anticipates the child’s inner rhythm and is sensitive to the emotional movement of the child in the flow of the play therapy process . Being empathic with a child often is regarded as a passive process of sitting in a chair in a playroom and allowing the child to do whatever comes to mind, with little or no reaction or response from the play thera- pist . Nothing could be further from the truth . This relationship of being fully with a child is a highly interactive mental and verbal process on the part of the therapist . Sensitive understanding

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that is accurate requires the therapist to maintain a high level of emotional interaction with the child . The therapist has a sense of personal identification (as if) with the child, rather than a mere reflection of feelings now and then as the child plays .

This process of being fully with the child and sensitively and accurately understanding the child requires a commitment of self to the relationship with the child . Being fully committed to the relationship with the child results in one of the most active experi- ences in which a therapist can be engaged, necessitating significant emotional and mental involvement and verbal responsiveness on the part of the therapist . This is not some objective observational activity to be entered into lightly . Mental and emotional effort is required to accurately sense and enter into the child’s private world with understanding . Children know when they have been “touched” in this way (Figure 5 .2) .

Figure 5.2 The relationship with a child is a continual prizing of the uniqueness of the child and an empathic experiencing of the moment-by-moment living out of the child’s world at a pace of unfold- ing determined by the inner direction of the emerging child.

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Sensitive understanding means the play therapist is in full emo- tional contact with the child’s perceptual, experiential world of real- ity . No questioning or evaluation is made of the child’s verbal or acted out description of feelings or experiences in relation to this personal world of experiencing . The therapist tries hard to be fully in tune with all that the child is experiencing and expressing at the moment . The therapist does not try to think ahead of the child’s experience or to analyze the content in some way to derive meaning . The attitude of the therapist is to sense as deeply as possible the experiencing of the child at that moment and to accept as fully as possible the emerg- ing intuitive empathic response within herself as being sufficient for the moment . Thus, the relationship with the child is a continual prizing of the child’s uniqueness and an empathic experiencing of the moment-by-moment living out of the child’s world at a pace of unfolding determined by the inner direction of the emerging child .

The therapist does not try to send painful experiences of the child away by unnecessary reassurance, such as reassuring a frightened child that “Everything will be okay” or attempting to comfort a child with, “But your mother really does love you .” To do so would be to reject what the child is feeling at the moment . Such responses give a clear message to the child that it is not per- missible to experience pain . Whatever the child feels is consid- ered by the therapist to be a legitimate feeling . If Bobby feels sad over the loss of a favorite crayon, the therapist experiences that sadness , perhaps not to the extent the child feels it, but neverthe- less an experiencing occurs of the sadness “as if .” Even though the therapist may never have been physically abused by an alcoholic father, the terror and anger felt by Kevin are experienced within the intuitive experiencing of the therapist “as if” and verbally communicated with feeling to Kevin . “You felt completely help- less and were so scared of your father . You feel really angry at him .” The therapist must be careful not to allow his life experi- ences to encroach upon and color such feelings and experiences .

The Therapeutic Relationship Attempting to describe the almost imperceptible but fully pres- ent subtle nuances characteristic of a shared relationship with

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the person of a child is a bit like trying to pick up a small bubble of mercury with your fingers . The very nature of the mercury is such that it defies being picked up . How does one adequately describe the shared experience, the exuberance of a child who struggles to express the unbelievable emotional release experi- enced in the safety of being fully accepted as a person of worth? Are there words that will adequately describe the emotion expe- rienced in such moments? If so, they are unknown to me, for words always seem to be such an inadequate means for attempt- ing to convey the essence of such a shared moment with a child .

Perhaps we should look to children who live out such experi- ences in the playroom for descriptions of the meaning of the rela- tionship . Five-year-old Philip stood in the middle of the playroom flinging his arms up and down and excitedly repeated, “Who would have thought there was such a place like this in the whole world!” Indeed, this relationship is for most children like no other they have experienced . Here the adult allows the child to be—just that, to be! The child is accepted for the person she is and what she is at that time .

This kind of relating, of truly experiencing being with a child with the permission of the child to know her inner world, is not learned by training or by sharpening our intellect . It is a learning open only to the heart . The importance of responding out of one’s heart in a relationship with a child is vividly described by the Tin Woodman in his conversation with the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz:

“I don’t know enough,” replied the Scarecrow cheerfully . “My head is stuffed with straw, you know, and that is why I am going to Oz to ask him for some brains .”

“O, I see,” said the Tin Woodman . “But, after all, brains are not the best things in the world .”

“Have you any?” inquired the Scarecrow . “No, my head is quite empty,” answered the Woodman, “but

once I had brains, and a heart also; so having tried them both, I should much rather have a heart .” (Baum, 1956, pp . 55–56)

Respect for the person of the child and a prizing of the child’s world are not activities of the mind . They are genuinely felt and

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experienced in the inner person of the therapist and are sensed and felt by the child, who deeply appreciates and values the thera- pist for such unconditional acceptance . This relationship with the child in the playroom, then, is a mutually shared relationship of acceptance and appreciation in which each person is regarded as an individual .

This is a unique relationship based on expectancy not expecta- tion. Expectation focuses on behavior, expecting the child to be a certain way, to exhibit certain behaviors that have previously been identified, to play a certain way, what the child is supposed to do . A relationship of expectations is based on performance as the basis for identity and value . Expectations restrict and box a child in . Because I have no expectations of Bryan in the playroom, I will never be disappointed in Bryan .

Expectancy has a dynamic quality of anticipation of being together . What will Bryan be like today? Expectancy is an atti- tude of eagerness . Expectancy is alive, dynamic, an unknown potential . A relationship of expectancy does not rely on the past or information about a child.

I have sometimes experienced a fantasy that the developing relationship with a child in play therapy is like going into a com- pletely dark room, in which someone has placed a beautiful and very valuable vase on a stand . I enter the pitch-black room with eager expectancy knowing the vase is in there somewhere and wanting to make contact with it so that I can discover what it is like and appreciate its beauty . Under such conditions I would not stride right into the darkness of the room and begin to grope for the location of the vase . Neither would I swing my arms rapidly to try to make contact, lest I unexpectedly and unintentionally strike the stand or the prized vase, causing it to topple to the floor . Such behavior would be unthinkable . Instead, I enter the dark- ness of the room with caution and first stand there to begin to adjust to these new surroundings, trying to sense the dimensions of the room . I focus all of my energy on being sensitively aware of the possible existence of nearby objects .

Having adjusted to the initial darkness of the room and being guided by great caution, I proceed to gently explore what is avail- able to me in the room . My movements are slow . I begin to get

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acquainted with what I experience in the room, to see as clearly as I can in my mind that which I experience and sense with my total being . Everything about me is straining to sense the presence of the vase . After a few moments of not being successful in my efforts to locate the vase, I do not change my approach and move ahead quickly or try a new procedure and start crawling around on the floor . Quite the contrary, I know the vase is here some- where; so I proceed with great patience to gently feel for the vase .

I do not try to rush the discovery . Instead, I persevere with per- sistent patience in my effort to make contact with the vase . Finally, one of my gentle hand movements touches something; I am very still, knowing it is here! I experience a flood of relief, joy, anticipa- tion, and wonder at what the vase will be like . Then I begin ever so gently to touch the vase, allowing my hands to explore its shape and beauty and to picture that beauty in my mind . The play ther- apy experience with a child is like this experience with the vase, and in like manner I want to approach, experience, and “touch” the emotionally vulnerable child .

When I am in a relationship with a child, I experience an unspoken inner struggle to touch what is untouchable in the child . To accomplish this, I have learned to appreciate and enjoy the child’s inner quietness . Waiting is a part of the therapeutic process . Waiting for the child conveys a belief in the child, a willing- ness to trust the child. I want to be patient with the child’s inner process . If I am to be successful in my effort to make contact with the child,

I must be still within myself and see the child . I must be still and listen to the child . I must be still and make contact with the imagination of

the child . I must be still and follow the lead of the child . I must be still and experience the child . I must be still within myself and touch the hidden inner

person of the child . I must be still within myself and wait for the child .

If I am to be helpful to a child, I must make contact with the person of the child at all levels of experiencing in our shared time

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together . Being still within myself does not mean I am unrespon- sive and silent . A great deal is always being communicated ver- bally and nonverbally by a child, and I want to communicate what I hear and understand to the child . I would like to gently touch the child’s emotional world and also to hear as fully as I can the child’s expressed thoughts, reactions, and descriptions . I would like the total response of my person, verbally and nonverbally, to convey to the child the depth of my yearning to know and understand, to the extent to which I am fully capable, the child’s experiential inner world of feelings and thoughts as known, experienced, felt, expressed, and lived out at the moment .

Just as I want to hear, the child has a longing to share what he may perceive as a frightening part of his life, or a part of his life that the child fears may be rejected by me or others . So the child ventures forth in this relationship in ways that may seem to lack focus or direction as he experiences this inner conflict of wanting to be heard and fearing evaluation and criticism . At such times a tentative and perhaps almost imperceptible sharing occurs of this vulnerable part of the child’s self in what may be an obscure or oblique manner that could easily go unnoticed, because the mes- sage is so inconspicuous or veiled .

The child is perhaps at that moment only vaguely aware at some deeper level of this underlying part of herself or her experience that she would like to share, perhaps not even at a conscious level, in the immediacy of our experiencing relationship . At other times, one can sense at an immediate conscious level a deep longing on the part of the child to have this vulnerable part of self heard and accepted . In the midst of the child’s behavior that may sometimes be bizarre or sometimes monotonous or sometimes seemingly out of control or deliberately provocative, there is the person of a child who is tapping out a message, “Does anyone hear me? Does anyone notice I am hurting? Does anyone care?” At these moments in our developing relationship, I would like by my attitude, words, feel- ings, tone of voice, facial and bodily expression, by the total person I am to communicate my hearing, understanding, and acceptance of this deeper message in a way that will help the child to feel safe, accepted, and appreciated . I want by all that I am at that moment to confirm the child’s existence .

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Sometimes by my response in such moments, it seems to me I am very gently opening a door the child has come to stand in front of in our journey together; and by that gesture, I am saying to the child, “I’m really not sure either what is on the other side of the door . I understand what is there may be frightening to you or something you would rather not face . But I am willing to walk through that door with you . I am not willing to lead you through the door, nor will I push you or follow you through the door . I will be fully present beside you, and we will discover together what is there . I trust you in this process to be able to face and cope with whatever we find there .” This kind of relationship was described by Rogers (1952, p . 70) as “the process by which the structure of the self is relaxed in the safety of the relationship with the thera- pist, and previously denied experiences are perceived and then integrated into an altered self .”

The beginning of this movement toward a different self is facili- tated when the warmth, interest, caring, understanding, genu- ineness, and empathy experienced by the therapist are perceived and felt by the child . In this climate of facilitative psychologi- cal attitudes (Rogers, 1980), the child comes to rely on her own vast resources for self-directed behavior and for altering her self-concept and basic attitude . Thus, the power to change resides within the child and is not a result of direction, advice, or infor- mation the therapist might have to offer. As expressed by Rogers (1961, p . 33), “If I can provide a certain type of relationship, the other person will discover within himself the capacity to use that relationship for growth and change, and personal development will occur .” The relationship then can be described as therapeutic and a function of basic key attitudes of the child-centered play therapist who is willing to know the child and to be known in the process of the developing relationship .

Child-centered play therapy is an immediate and present expe- rience for children in which the therapeutic process emerges from a shared living relationship developed on the basis of the thera- pist’s consistently conveyed acceptance of children and confidence in their ability to be of help to themselves, thus freeing children to risk using their own strengths . Experiencing this acceptance of

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themselves, children begin to value themselves and come to per- ceive and accept themselves as unique and separate .

As children gradually experience being themselves, they are free to experience living in the present and to make creative, responsible use of their individuality . The therapist can do noth- ing to make this happen . The therapist tries to see and experience the child’s point of reference and understand the meaning to the child without imposing her beliefs or solutions on the child . This basic intent of the therapist does not vary with the presenting problem or the cultural background of the child . According to Glover (2001), “It is exactly this accepting and respectful relation- ship that makes child-centered play therapy an ideal intervention for children who are of a different culture than the therapist” (p . 32) .

Because the motivation for learning and change spring from an intrinsic self-actualizing tendency in the child, I have no need to motivate the child, to supply energy, or to direct the child’s behav- ior toward some predetermined goal . I trust the child to lead our experience together to where the child needs to be. I am not wise enough to know where a child should be in our relation- ship, or what a child should do. I trust the child’s intuitive inner direction to take the experience to where the child needs to be . I can never be sure I know what the child should be working on in our time together . For example, only the child and the perpetra- tor may know about sexual abuse . Parents and teachers may know only that there are behaviors, such as a child waking up frightened or biting other children, about which they are concerned .

In the child-centered approach, the child selects the theme, content, and process of the play . The child chooses which toys to play with and sets the pace . The therapist does not make decisions for the child, no matter how insignificant the decision may seem to be . Thus, the child is encouraged to accept responsibility for himself and in the process discovers his own strengths .

The nature of the interaction between the therapist and child in the child-centered approach was clarified by Axline (1969) in her Eight Basic Principles, which serve as a guide for therapeutic

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contact with children . These principles in revised and extended form are listed here:

1 . The therapist is genuinely interested in the child and develops a warm, caring relationship .

2 . The therapist experiences unqualified acceptance of the child and does not wish that the child were different in some way .

3 . The therapist creates a feeling of safety and permissiveness in the relationship, so the child feels free to explore and express herself completely .

4 . The therapist is always sensitive to the child’s feelings and gently reflects those feelings in such a manner that the child develops self-understanding .

5 . The therapist believes deeply in the child’s capacity to act responsibly, unwaveringly respects the child’s ability to solve personal problems, and allows the child to do so .

6 . The therapist trusts the child’s inner direction, allows the child to lead in all areas of the relationship, and resists any urge to direct the child’s play or conversation .

7 . The therapist appreciates the gradual nature of the thera- peutic process and does not attempt to hurry the process .

8 . The therapist establishes only those therapeutic limits neces- sary to anchor the session to reality and which help the child accept personal and appropriate relationship responsibility .

In this approach, the child and not the problem is the point of focus . If the focus of the play therapist’s interactions with a child is on solv- ing the child’s identified problem, then the message communicated to the child is, “Your problem is more important than you are .”

The child is always more important than any problem the child may be experiencing . I would be dismayed if a child ever thought that I was more interested in or concerned about a problem she

RULE OF THUMB:

When you focus on the problem, you lose sight of the child .

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might have than I was about her as a person . Every child is so much more than anything the child has done or experienced . I have learned from children that experiences do not define the persons they are. Children are not bound by their experiences . They are not limited to what they have done or accomplished .

It is very likely that someone reading this book has experi- enced a shattering experience in his or her life, the destruction of a dream, an overwhelming tragedy, a deeply disturbing experi- ence, a traumatic event, or a heartbreaking loss . The person you are is not defined by that experience . Perhaps you are reading this book because you are in graduate school and now have direction in your life . You have overcome that devastating experience, a testimony to the resiliency of the human organism and the fact that the person you are is not defined by that experience .

The play therapist must avoid becoming blinded by her limited understanding of a child and a prisoner of her own solutions to complex problems . The child’s identified problem may be only an observable symptom of a deeper issue, the cause . I do not assume that what I have been told about a child by parents, teachers, and other significant individuals in the child’s life is the most important thing about the child or all there is to know about the child . Therefore, my objective in the play therapy relationship is to discover that which I don’t know that I don’t know I don’t know. I am not wise enough to know what I should be looking for in a child . And because I don’t know what to look for, how can I go looking for it?

There is so much I don’t know about children . Perhaps what is most important is what I don’t know . I am not wise enough to know what a child should be working on; therefore, I trust the child to take me in this relationship to where the child needs to be . I make no preconceived decisions about a child . To do so would block the creative growth of the child . I wait patiently with wonder and eager anticipation as the vulnerable inner person of the child emerges .

RULE OF THUMB:

The facts about a child do not tell very much about the person of a child .

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The journey of the relationship is what is significant, not the determining of the child’s past history, not the determining of causes, not the uncovering of past behaviors, not the discovery of environmental factors, not the development of an educational plan, not direction provided by the therapist, not the structur- ing of interventions, not the solving of the child’s problem, but being with the child, fully experiencing the child’s world, seeing, experiencing, and taking in a part of the child I have not experi- enced before . A play therapist in a supervision group concluded, “Therapy is not something I have to do, but rather is something to be a part of . Play therapy is a journey I get to take with a child .”

Diagnosis is not necessary, because child-centered play therapy is not a prescriptive approach . The therapist does not vary the approach to meet demands based on a specific referral problem . The relationship that develops and the creative forces this relation- ship releases in the child generate the process of change and growth for the child . The relationship is the therapy; it is not preparation for therapy or behavioral change.

Whatever develops in the child as a result of the play therapy relationship was already there . The therapist does not create any- thing in the child . The therapist only helps to release what already exists in the child . The potential for whatever positive behavioral changes or growth that occurs or whatever the child becomes already existed in the child before the therapist saw the child . Therefore, the therapist cannot take credit for the change . In this process, the child is responsible for himself and is quite capable of exercising that responsibility through self-direction resulting in more positive behavior .

In child-centered play therapy, the relationship, not the utili- zation of toys, or the application of techniques, or the interpreta- tion of behavior, is the key to growth . Therefore, the relationship is always focused on the present, living experience with the child:

Person of the child . . . rather than . . . problem Present . . . . . . . . . . . . . rather than . . . past Feelings . . . . . . . . . . . . rather than . . . thoughts or acts Understanding . . . . . . rather than . . . explaining Accepting . . . . . . . . . . rather than . . . correcting

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Child’s direction . . . . . rather than . . . therapist’s instruction Child’s wisdom . . . . . . rather than . . . therapist’s knowledge

The relationship provides consistent acceptance of the child, which is necessary for the development of enough inner freedom and security in the child for her to express herself in self-enhanc- ing ways . The key facilitative elements in the relationship which are growth-promoting for the child can be summed up in the fol- lowing therapeutic dimensions in the play therapy relationship:

Belief in the child Respect for the child Acceptance of the child Hearing the inner child Acceptance of the child’s will Focus on the child’s needs Freedom for the child to set his own direction Opportunity for the child to make choices Respect for the child’s boundaries Patience with the process

Objectives in Child-Centered Play Therapy When we speak of objectives in the child-centered play therapy approach, the emphasis is on broadly defined therapeutic objec- tives rather than on individualized prescriptive goals for the child . Setting specific goals is inconsistent with child-centered philoso- phy because goals are evaluative and imply specific achievements required of the child which have been externally established . When specific objectives or goals are set for the individual child, the therapist will almost assuredly drift into the trap of subtly or directly pushing the child to work on the objective related to the identified problem and will thus restrict the child’s opportu- nity for self-direction . Does this mean the therapist is not inter- ested in the “problem” parents or teachers have identified? Not at all, for such information about the child is a part of the child’s

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total life and can (but not necessarily) help the therapist to better understand what the child is communicating in the playroom .

An important caution to note is that knowing such pretherapy information about the child may bias the play therapist’s percep- tual view of the child and result in the therapist not “seeing” other parts of the child . Although this is a realistic concern, exposure to information about the child prior to encountering the child for the first time is largely unavoidable in that the therapist will often need to interview parents or teachers prior to working with the child, because the setting precludes the availability of another staff member to conduct the interview . This potential problem can largely be overcome if the therapist has a high degree of self-understanding, is aware of the potential perceptual bias, and is committed to the process of allowing the child to be fully the person she is at the moment with the therapist .

The general objectives of child-centered play therapy are con- sistent with the child’s inner self-directed striving toward self- actualization . An overriding premise is the necessity for building a relationship with the child that will provide the child with a positive growth experience in the presence of an understanding, accepting, and supportive adult so the child will be able to dis- cover internal strengths .

Because child-centered play therapy focuses on the person of the child rather than on the child’s problem, the emphasis is on facili- tating the child’s efforts to become more adequate, as a person, in coping with current and future problems that may affect his life . To that end, the broad therapeutic objectives of child-centered play therapy are to help the child

1 . Develop a more positive self-concept . 2 . Assume greater self-responsibility . 3 . Become more self-directing . 4 . Become more self-accepting .

RULE OF THUMB:

It is not possible to establish a relationship with a problem .

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5 . Become more self-reliant . 6 . Engage in self-determined decision making . 7 . Experience a feeling of control . 8 . Become sensitive to the process of coping . 9 . Develop an internal source of evaluation . 10 . Become more trusting of himself .

These objectives of child-centered play therapy provide a gen- eral framework for understanding the characteristics and the pro- cess of the approach . Because specific objectives are not set for the child, the therapist is free to facilitate the development of these person-focused objectives . This does not preclude the child from working on specific problems she feels a need to express, but frees the child to do so . In this child-centered relationship, the thera- pist believes in and trusts the child’s capacity to set her own goals . Children in play therapy, however, seldom establish specific goals for themselves, at least not verbally and perhaps not consciously . A 4-year-old does not voluntarily say, “I need to stop hitting my 1-year-old brother,” or a 5-year-old does not state, “My goal is to like myself better .” Likewise, a 6-year-old does not say, “I’m here to work on the anger and rage I feel toward my father, who sexually abused me .” Although such problems may not be stated as goals by children, such problems will be acted out through their play, and in the process of the relationship children will work on the problems in their own way . In this approach, children need not be aware they have a problem for play therapy to be beneficial .

In child-centered play therapy, no attempt is made to control a child, to have the child be a certain way, or to reach a conclusion the therapist has decided is important . The therapist is not the author- ity who decides what is best for the child, what the child should think, or how he should feel . If this were the case, the child would be deprived of the opportunity to discover his own strengths .

What Children Learn in Play Therapy Because the majority of children who are referred for play therapy are involved in some sort of school experience, a pertinent topic

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to examine is that of learning . Most teachers spend their day involved in the process of helping children learn, so teachers natu- rally may want to know just what children learn in play therapy, especially if a child has to miss part of the instructional time in order to attend play therapy sessions . Actually, for children play therapy is a unique learning experience under the most favorable growth-promoting conditions possible and, as such, is viewed from a developmental perspective with objectives consistent with those of the school: to assist children in learning about themselves and their world .

Play therapy assists the development of children by helping them to know and accept themselves . Play therapy also assists in accomplishing the broader school objective of learning about the world by helping children to get ready to profit from the learning experiences provided by teachers . Children who are anxious or worried, have poor self-concepts, are experiencing a divorce in the home environment, or have poor peer relationships cannot achieve maximum learning from even the most masterful teacher . Play therapy, therefore, is an adjunct to the learning environ- ment, an experience that helps children maximize opportunities to learn in the classroom.

Risk taking, self-exploration, and self-discovery are not likely to occur in the presence of threat or the absence of safety . The potential learning experiences available in play therapy are directly related to the degree to which the therapist is successful in creating a cli- mate of safety within which children feel fully accepted and safe enough to risk being and expressing the innermost totality of their emotional being . This is not a conscious decision on the part of children but, rather, the result of a permissive climate void of criti- cism, suggestions, praise, disapproval, or efforts to change them .

Children are accepted just as they are; therefore, there is no need to please the adult in this relationship . As one child expressed it, “In here you can just be your own little ol’ self .” Because there is no threat to self, self-exploration and self-discovery occur natu- rally . This is not meant to imply that self-expression occurs with reckless abandon, as might be the case in the early stage of the therapeutic process . In response to the feeling of permissiveness

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established in the playroom, the safety to be fully one’s self, and the careful use of therapeutic limits (which will be discussed later), children learn self-control and responsible freedom of expression.

Most of what is learned by children in the play therapy rela- tionship is not a cognitive learning but a developing experiential, intuitive learning about the self that occurs over the course of the therapeutic experience . This kind of learning about self in the child-centered play therapy relationship is a result of the kind of relationship facilitated by the therapist . The following Eight Basic Learning Experiences About Self facilitate change in children:

• Children learn to respect themselves. The play thera- pist maintains and communicates a constant regard and respect for children, regardless of their behavior—whether they are playing passively, acting out aggression, or being whiny and dependently insisting on help with even the simplest tasks . Children sense and experience the thera- pist’s respect, feel respected, and, because an absence of evaluation and an ever-present acceptance exists, they internalize the respect and thus learn to respect them- selves. Once children have respect for themselves, they learn to respect others .

• Children learn that their feelings are acceptable. Through the process of playing out their feelings in the presence of an adult who understands and accepts even the intensity of the feelings, children learn that all of their feelings are acceptable. As children experience their feel- ings are acceptable, they begin to be more open in express- ing their feelings .

• Children learn to express their feelings responsibly. Once children’s feelings have been openly expressed and accepted, they lose their intensity and can more easily be controlled appropriately . As children learn to responsibly control their feelings, they are no longer controlled by those feelings. This, then, is a freeing process for children to experience in that they are free to go beyond those feelings .

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• Children learn to assume responsibility for themselves . In the natural process of development, children strive toward independence and self-reliance but often are thwarted in their efforts by adults who, although well-intentioned, take charge by doing things for children and thus deprive them of opportunities to experience how being responsible for themselves feels . In the play therapy relationship, the therapist believes in children’s ability to be resourceful and so resists doing anything that would deprive them of the opportunity to discover their own strength . As the thera- pist allows children to struggle to do things for themselves, children learn to assume responsibility for themselves and discover what that responsibility feels like .

• Children learn to be creative and resourceful in con- fronting problems. When children are allowed to figure things out for themselves, to derive their own solutions to problems, to complete their own tasks, their own creative resources are released and developed . With increasing fre- quency, then, children will tackle their own problems, even those that were formerly overwhelming, and experience the satisfaction of doing things all by themselves . Although a child may initially resist the opportunity to solve his own problems, the creative tendency of the self will come forth in response to the therapist’s persistent patience .

• Children learn self-control and self-direction. If no oppor- tunities are available to experience being in control, learn- ing self-control and self-direction is not possible . Although this principle seems simplistically obvious, the absence of opportunities like this in children’s lives is overwhelmingly conspicuous when one takes the time to carefully observe children’s interactions with significant adults . Unlike most other adults in children’s lives, the play therapist does not make decisions for children or try to control them either directly or subtly . Limits on children’s behavior in the play- room are verbalized in such a way that children are allowed to control their own behavior . Because control is not applied externally, children learn self-control and self-direction as they are allowed to make their own decisions .

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• Children gradually learn, at a feeling level, to accept themselves. As children experience being accepted just as they are with no conditional expectations from the therapist, they gradually, and in sometimes imperceptible ways, begin to accept themselves as worthwhile . This is both a direct and an indirect process of communication and learning about self . The therapist does not overtly tell children they are accepted, because that would have little or no positive impact on the relationship or the way chil- dren feel about themselves . Acceptance is an attitudinal message communicated verbally and nonverbally by all that the therapist is and does . Acceptance is first felt by children and then becomes known to them as they expe- rience being accepted nonjudgmentally for who they are, just as they are, with no desire that they be different . This increased self-acceptance is a major contributing factor to the development of a positive self-concept .

• Children learn to make choices and to be responsible for their choices. Life entails a never-ending series of choices . But how can children learn how to make a choice or what making a choice feels like if they are not allowed to expe- rience the process of making choices: the indecision, the struggle, wanting to avoid, feeling incapable, the anxiety, and the apprehension that one’s choice will be unaccept- able to others? Therefore, the therapist avoids making even simple choices for children, such as which color to use in a drawing or which toy to play with .

These are all desirable indices of growth in maturity .

Multicultural Approach of Child-Centered Play Therapy Child-centered play therapy is a culturally sensitive approach because the facts about a child’s socioeconomic strata or ethnic background

[D]o not change the therapist’s beliefs, philosophy, theory or approach to the child . Empathy, acceptance, understanding, and genuineness on the part of the therapist are provided to children

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equally, irrespective of their color, condition, circumstance, con- cern or complaint . The child is free to communicate through play in a manner that is comfortable and typical for the child, including cultural adaptations of play and expression . (Sweeney & Landreth, 2009, p . 135)

Being sensitively attuned to a child and responding to a child’s emotions transcends culture and is a multicultural language (Figure 5 .3) . As pointed out earlier in this chapter, the child-centered play therapist tries to see and experience the child’s point of refer- ence and understand the meaning to the child without imposing beliefs or solutions on the child . This basic intent of the therapist does not vary with the presenting problem or the cultural back- ground of the child . According to Glover (2001), “It is exactly this accepting and respectful relationship that makes child-centered play therapy an ideal intervention for children who are of a

Figure 5.3 Child-centered play therapy is a culturally responsive intervention because children’s self-directed play takes on aspects of their culture and transcends language barriers.

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different culture than the therapist” (p . 32) . When a child plays out his story and is responded to with empathy, genuine warmth, and acceptance by the therapist, the child begins to develop empathy and acceptance of self and others and acceptance of his culture because his cultural play is accepted .

Although some play therapists rely on a verbal approach and encourage children to express their feelings in words as a neces- sary part of resolving problems, the child-centered play therapist is respectful of differences, does not encourage or insist on direct verbal expression of affect, and allows children to choose the method of communication most comfortable to them . Because play is children’s natural language of expression, children play out rather than talk out their experiences and feelings in direct but more often symbolic ways that allow them to distance themselves from the pain and stress involved in exploration of actual happen- ings and experiences . Thus, children in cultural groups where the direct expression of emotions is not encouraged are able to fully express and explore intense emotional reactions in the safety of their play in the child-centered play therapy relationship . Glover (2001) proposed that child-centered play therapy allows a child the freedom to be who the child is, thus providing the basis for a culturally sensitive relationship .

In some approaches to play therapy, the therapist expects chil- dren to volunteer information, especially information related to problems and their life experiences, so play therapy sessions can be structured to deal overtly with these issues in the course of therapy . Such an approach goes counter to the social values of many cultural groups that believe problems should not be dis- closed to strangers and should be handled within the family . The child-centered play therapist does not question children about their problems because the child-centered approach is not a pre- scriptive approach and background information does not provide guidance for what the therapist does or how the therapist conducts herself in the relationship with a child in the playroom .

Lin (2011) found in his meta-analytic study of child-centered play therapy that non-Caucasian children demonstrated sub- stantially greater improvement as a result of play therapy than Caucasian children . Lin hypothesized that a possible explanation

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lies in the child-centered play therapy approach that allows non-Caucasian children to utilize their self-directed play to tran- scend language barriers, thus allowing them a nonverbal means of expressing their inner feelings, thoughts, and experiences that they may be unable to express fully in an English-speaking world . Lin concluded his findings by strongly suggesting that practition- ers can confidently consider child-centered play therapy as a culturally responsive intervention .

Garza (2010) studied the effects of child-centered play therapy with Hispanic children and concluded that the results of her study demonstrated

[S]trong support for CCPT as a viable treatment modality for Hispanic children . The results are noteworthy because this study compares CCPT to a research-supported intervention . There is a particularly strong indication that the behavioral outcomes of children who receive CCPT interfaces with a behaviorally focused value (obedience) of Hispanic parents . (p . 188)

Research studies have shown child-centered play therapy and child–parent relationship therapy (filial therapy based on child-centered play therapy philosophy, theory, and skills) to be effective with children across diverse cultures: African American children, Chinese children, German children, Hispanic children, Iranian children, Israeli children, Japanese children, Korean children, Native American children, and Puerto Rican children . (Research results are presented in Chapter 17 of this book .)

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children . In J . Baggerly, D . Ray , & S . Bratton (Eds .), Child-centered play therapy research: The evidence base for effective practice (pp . 177–191) . Hoboken, NJ: Wiley .

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Garza, Y ., & Bratton, S . C . (2005) . School-based child-centered play therapy with Hispanic children: Outcomes and cultural considerations . International Journal of Play Therapy, 14(1), 51–79 .

Glover, G . (2001) . Cultural considerations in play therapy . In G . Landreth (Ed .), Innovations in play therapy: Issues, process, and special populations (pp. 31–41) . Philadelphia: Brunner-Routledge .

Lin, Y . (2011) . Contemporary Research of Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT) modalities: A Meta Analytic Review of Controlled Outcome Studies . (Unpublished doctoral dissertation, University of North Texas, Denton .)

Moustakas, C . (1981) . Rhythms, rituals and relationships. Detroit, MI: Harlow Press . Patterson, C . (1974) . Relationship counseling and psychotherapy. New York:

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theory. Boston: Houghton Mifflin . Rogers, C . (1952) . Client-centered psychotherapy . Scientific American, 187, 70 . Rogers, C . (1961) . On becoming a person. Boston: Houghton Mifflin . Rogers, C . (1977) . Carl Rogers on personal power: Inner strength and its revolu-

tionary impact. New York: Delacorte . Rogers, C . (1980) . A way of being. Boston: Houghton Mifflin . Rogers, C . (1986) . Client-centered therapy . In J . L . Kutash & A . Wolf (Eds .),

Psychotherapist’s casebook (pp . 197–208) . San Francisco: Jossey-Bass . Sweeney, D ., & Landreth, G . (2009) . Child-centered play therapy . In K . O’Connor

& L . Braverman (Ed .), Play therapy theory and practice: Comparing theories and techniques (2nd ed ., pp . 123–162) . Hoboken, NJ: Wiley .

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