ESSAY REVIEW- ANSWER QUESTIONS IN FULL SENTENCES.

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Snow Ai

Professor Altebarmakian

English 100

Feb 19, 2020

What is Love, to You?

Love is a word that many writers write about, musicians perform about, dancers dance

about, businesses capitalize on, etc. It is evidently something that plays a significant role in many

aspects of our lives. However, if I were to ask you, "what is love?" how quick would you be in

answering, if at all? The consensus is that love is an unconditional affection for someone or

something. Nevertheless, you will often come across a plethora of definitions for love. With this,

love is an obscure concept that many people are still trying to figure out. According to Oxford

dictionary, "[love is] a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone." In other words, love is

based on extrinsic elements such as lust and infatuation. In the media, love has often been

associated with marriages and weddings: marriage seemingly legitimizes the love in the

relationship and weddings celebrate and display the legitimized love. Conversely, to me, love is

intrinsically-based: it is the feeling and mental state of wanting the best for someone or

something, being a space of comfort, and being able to compromise; and I believe that this love

is found in my relationship with my significant other of nearly 9 years.

First, my significant other and I routinely engage in selfless acts toward each other, that

is, we often find ourselves wanting the best for one another. For example, all I want from him is

for him to be happy every day: whether it is doing something that he strives for or even finding

someone to replace my spot as his significant other. As for him, he hopes for my continued

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studiousness, diligence and good health. But beyond hoping, he provides generous support for

me to ensure the feasibility and success of those goals. For example, in times when I struggle

with a concept, he would tutor me to help me understand it; in times of mental burnouts, he

would take on the role of being a life coach and/or provide me videos to give me the morale

boost that I need and many more. He never once gave up on me even when I had my doubts. He

tends to prioritize my well-being over his own. Additionally, he tends to lack sufficient self-care;

he does not know how to take a break. Consequently, I worry about his health a lot, physically

and mentally. He is not the type to take care of his body; he does not know how to take a break at

all. Sometimes, I must remind him to take a rest, eat on time, chew properly, and sleep on time.

With this, because we love each other, we value each other's welfare as much as each of our own.

Next, love is also about providing comfort to the people you sincerely care about as can

be seen in my relationship. This can be demonstrated in our acceptance of each other's silliness

towards each other or each other's embarrassing moments. For example, when I attempted to

cook a dish, it did not come out the way I had hoped as I forgot to purchase some of the

ingredients the recipe had asked for. I warned my boyfriend before he tasted the dish;

nevertheless, he assured me that it was still so delicious: "hun, what the, this is amazing! I love

it!" And when he attempted his first handstand after several years, he nearly immediately fell on

his back. Instead of shaming him and making him feel insecure, I complimented his efforts: "A

for effort!" We both wanted each other to know that it is okay to be "human," that is, it is okay to

make mistakes, especially around each other; there is no need to maintain an image. The

providing of comfort can also be seen in our encouragement of the expression of deep feelings

from one another. For instance, I have always encouraged him to share any of his issues with me

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as long as he feels ready to, explaining to him that I am judgment-free of whatever the issue may

be. Additionally, I would always do my best to empathize. This is also equivalently reciprocated

by him. A phrase he often recites to me is, "love, I am here to listen, what's up? You can tell me

anything." And he would often respond to my response with a remark to the effect of, "I totally

get it," or "oh my goodness, I know what you mean. That was so me." Here, he is providing

comfort by letting me know that he is here for me and that he is not here to judge.

Finally, love is when you and your loved ones can compromise, that is, to come to a

mutual agreement. Whenever I have a heated argument with my significant other, whether it is

over something significant or petty, we tend to take a step back, reanalyze the situation we are in

and see if we can reach a middle ground. Most of the times, we can come to an agreement.

However, there are few times where we do not agree, and it can go south from there. For

instance, I get flustered when he does not see the way I vision things. I lashed out at him with my

negativity and he does not like it one bit; it can go both ways. What he and I can agree on is

letting time do its work. In due time, we came to an agreement, apologized, and became happy

again. So, in a way, love is about having empathy towards each other, being responsible for each

other’s actions, being compassionate, and coming to a mutual understanding.

In the end, love to me is being selfless, wanting to provide comfort and reach terms that

can satisfy both parties. I always want the best for my significant other even if it means to put

myself second; I know he would do the same for me. I also want to let him know that it is okay

to be comfortable around me and no matter what, I accept him and his imperfections (just as he

has been towards me). We may not always agree to certain things; however, we eventually

reconcile as we are not the type let our trivial matters ruin our relationship. And because of that, I

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am glad that I can be able to experience love with this wonderful man that I am happy to call

him, my love.