my teacher said she need my paper to be REVISE (PLEASE HELP) I attach the paper below please i need to pass

Content, knowledge demonstrated, critical thinking skills, and organization includes:

·       Used transitional words to link sentences!

Be sure to view my comments within Waypoint (if you can not view them, be sure to let me know)!

REVISIONS NEEDED: (The following information will appear in all weekly feedback needing revision.  It is not intended to be repetitive; rather, speaks to the purpose behind my instructional strategies).

When assessing, I look for evidence that classmates understand course content and are prepared for future career choices.  Highlighted areas below that need revision should NOT be viewed as "critical" in ANY manner.  The action is intended to ensure you understand content and demonstrate readiness for career opportunities.

Because I view formative assessment as part of our learning process, I offer classmates the opportunity to make revisions and resubmit work (grade improvement if applicable).   Please follow the guidelines below:

1.     Review Hints and Tips Guide for this week (in Announcements!)  I have provided you with examples!

2.     Email me for instructions on "where to submit revisions"; if I do not hear from you, I will not KNOW you have resubmitted!

3.     Revisions need to be submitted within TWO DAYS after assessment feedback.

I identified the following revision needs (written in red):

JOURNAL: ECE CURRICULUM DIRECTIONS REFLECTION!

Criteria:

Explain your thoughts about the direction that early childhood curriculum has taken from its historic roots.    More information is needed using history of education (refer to Hints and Tips for history timeline).

Explain the direction you envision early childhood curriculum taking in the future  Your focus is on early education and diversity; two important elements.  Please share more key points and relate them to the history timeline in Hints and Tips.