fixing the paper

Feedback: The paper is heading in the right direction. You have many solid claims and good evidence. The argument is a little unclear so develop the thesis to give the paper a clear purpose. A few points still need some analysis added but this will be easier to do once you have an argument in place. The in-text citations are off but the Reference page follows APA style well. Overall, a few points need to be addressed but the paper is developing well.