Paper Revision

Some discussion of the STEM/STEAM debate

Some good use of sources

Areas of concern:

· "Studying STEM allows a student to develop various skills... For instance, one learns skills such as problem-solving tactics, entrepreneurship, critical thinking, innovation, communication skills, etc." ==> As far as I know, STEM focuses on technical/scientific skills, not on entrepreneurship or communication. In fact, one of the complaints about scientists and technicians is that they don't know how to communicate well. Your later statements to the contrary might describe some STEM programs, but not the typical ones.  

· Your paper does not distinguish between elementary grades and upper grades/college. The STEM/STEAM debate is not the same at these 2 different levels of education. Elementary grades strive for curricular connections, integration, and meaningfulness, while higher levels strive for career-preparation. So it is important to use sources/citations that address the level you are discussing and dealing with in your teaching.  

· There is a difference between "art" and "the arts" -- Art is drawing/painting/collage, while "the arts" include art, music, literature, etc. STEAM is meant to include all of the arts.  

· Your Conclusion section has some contradictory statements in it. It also mentions some issues that were not discussed in the paper.  

· Your paper includes only 1 of the 3 items in the assignment instructions: " Explain your position on Common Core math standards, the Next Generation Science Standards, and STEM v STEAM "

 

Writing:

· There is a debate about the proponents of STEAM education... and those of STEM (between)

· nowadays ///  discussion below is my take ///  without messing up things (too casual)

· skills and abilities known to steer up the pursuit of success (casual? slang? misspelled?)

· the STEM is rea (???)

· inquiry-based teaching methods, which focuses

· Are these really your wording?

· "The differentiation of the above approaches is key in reinforcing the education sector, and there is a need for stakeholders to utilize all the possible approaches aiming towards improving the learning approach that individuals might depict in different instances."  (And you have this quote in 2 different places in your paper!)

·  "art plays a crucial role in ensuring creativity and innovation, and it serves a vital role in making it possible to meet the needs of various individuals within the venture."

· "The truth is that STEM on its embrace art..."

· With the same token (By)

· Skills might increase motivation in studying STEP