Narrative essay

I've had this essay done, but my teacher did not like it. Can you please make it more academic and more tidy.

These are the requirments:

Using your outline, describe each part of your narrative, rathar than telling your readers what happened, use vivid discribtion.

Three pages, MLA style. 

Subject: A good or bad deed,  about a time when you did or did not stand up for yourself someone else in the face of adversity or challenge.