incorporating feedback
steen.You scored 28/40 on this assignment. See my comments below in “Blue.”
Week 7: Introduction and Conclusion |
Points Possible |
Points Earned |
Comments |
- The paper consists of an introduction and a conclusion for the expository essay that is added to the body paragraphs from Week 6. - The paper is also submitted to the Center for Writing Excellence and the Plagiarism Checker. |
5 |
5 |
Yes. Thank you for completing the assignment in full and according to the instructions. |
The introduction provides sufficient background on the topic, includes the thesis statement, and previews major points. |
15 |
5 |
The main problem with the intro is the tone. It is based almost entirely on personal experience Remember, this is a research paper. Your job is to present facts, not comment on those facts. You must prove your argument with facts alone. As I have mentioned several times before, when you are constructing a piece of academic writing, you should always avoid referring to yourself or to your audience. That means no "you" "your" "my" "I" or "we". Please eliminate these from your paper. In addition, your own personal experience should not appear anywhere in your writing. Statements that refer to yourself or to people you know are not appropriate here. |
The conclusion is logical, flows from the body of the paper, and reviews the major points. |
15 |
15 |
I like the way you constructed this section. It does a nice job of providing closure to your topic Remember, now that you have this completed; it is your job to ensure that all of the main points in your paper can be connected back to the ideas presented in the conclusion. |
The tone is appropriate for the intended audience. Both sections are written in third-person point of view. |
5 |
3 |
(See Comments Above) |
Total Points Earned: 28/40 |
I would like to see some revision for these sections in your final draft. Once you the basic framework for the “bookends” of your paper, along with the rough draft you completed last week, you are nearing the final stages of the writing process. Moving forward, continue using the feedback you have received thus far to improve the organization and clarity of your writing for the final draft. Good luck! |