reverse outline

Running head: DISCUSSION 1

DISCUSSION 4

Persuasive Essay Discussion

Student’s Name

Institution

Date

Persuasive Essay Discussion

My persuasive essay was about the refugee crisis in the United States of America. The essay discussed some of the reasons why the U.S. government should allow the refugees into the country. One area that I think I did particularly well in the essay was the resaerch. I did a comprehensive resaerch on some of the benefits that the United States has had as a result of the presence of the refugees in the country. Additionally, I made sure that the essay is well structured and follows the right format hence it is easy to understand and determine both sides of the argument. However, in the final reading of the persuasive essay, I was able to identify a paragraph that needs a little revision to be better. The following is the paragraph that I believe needs to be revised.

“However, the main concern of people who are against allowing refugees into the country is the fact that they contribute to the insecurity issues in the country. Refugees have been accused of being terrorists and increasing the rates of crime in the United States. However, according toLegrain (2016) refugees can help to improve the security of the country rather than worsen it.Refugees from the war countries could have some important intelligence on the terror groups intheir home countries and this information could help the U.S. government to improve its security.”

The following is the new paragraph that was developed after the revision.

“However, the main concern of people who are against allowing refugees into the country is the fact that they contribute to the insecurity issues in the country. Lohrmann (2005) argued that refugees are a threat to security because of the poor living standards they experience when they settle in a new country. However, according toLegrain (2016) refugees can help to improve the security of the country rather than worsen it.Refugees from the war countries could have some important intelligence on the terror groups intheir home countries and this information could help the U.S. government to improve its security.”

After reading the original paragraph, I realized that the claim that refugees contribute to insecurity in America is too general. In the revised paragraph, I added the citation for the claim to prevent the argument from appearing like it is general opinion. I believe that this makes the essay stronger because a good persuasive essay should not be based on “hear-say” but on facts that can be proven.