Business Writer
mcyrayvahgr
u6a1transcript.pdf
Revising
This series of interactive activities supplements what you have been learning about the writing process by
providing a writing sample with expert commentary. Rather than simply showing the end result of the writing
process, you will see a learner's written work as it progress through several key steps in the process. Expert
comments are added to help explain how the writing sample illustrates the writing process.
This interactive activity focuses on the first stage, pre-writing. The three other stages, drafting, peer reviewing,
and revising are presented in separate activities. All four of the interactive activities follow the same learner
through one assignment.
In addition to the material provided here, you may also want to review the freewriting handout provided by
Capella.
Assignment: Short Position Paper on Business and Technology
Today's employees need to be current in their information technology skills. Given the wide range of worker
preparedness and the omnipresence of technology use, training is both a necessity and a challenge.
For this assignment, you will write a short paper that recommends the implementation of one trend in IT training
for a specific type of business. You should support your ideas with at least two credible sources and thoroughly
explain the pros—and to some extent, the cons–of the training option you choose.
Questions to consider:
What are the relevant skills for the business of your choice?
How do companies prepare their employees to be users of the technology pertinent to their job and the
organization?
Does the size of a company lead to certain choices over others?
Training options to consider:
Third party vendors.
In-house training.
Multimedia tutorials.
Self-paced training.
While your paper should address some of the disadvantages of the training method you select, don't write a
wishy-washy piece. Your paper should have a strong thesis statement and support the training method you
choose.
Length: 2 to 4 double-spaced pages.
Revising: Reverse Outline
Learner Writing Sample
Descriptive:
1
Intro
Coaching comparison
Web publishing
Thesis
2
Description of web publishing job/situation
Different positions and skills
Huge, diverse technical needs
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3
Traditional methods may not work
Web workers don't have much time
Flexibility is crucial in training
4
Bite-sized training
Examples where it's used
5
Forms of bite-sized training
Purpose: can't be boring
6
Critics of bite-sized training
Mention of blended training
Blend of bite-size and blended training
7
Conclusion (not written yet)
Revised:
1
Intro
Coaching comparison
Web publishing
Thesis
2
Description of web publishing job/situation
Different positions and skills
Huge, diverse technical needs
3
Traditional methods may not work
Web workers don't have much time
Flexibility is crucial in training
4
A look at other training options
Why they don't work
Transition to bite-size training
5
Examples where it's used
Connect back to web publishing company
Make it relevant!
6
Critics of bite-sized training
Mention of blended training
Blend of bite-size and blended training
7
Conclusion
Tie together web publishing, bite-sized, and blended
Expert Commentary
Descriptive
The first step in reverse outlining is to simply represent what is going on in your writing: you should describe your
essay, paragraph by paragraph.
Description of web publishing job/situation
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Though just a few short phrases are used to describe each paragraph, this is enough to get a sense for what is
happening in the essay.
Revised
After the descriptive outline is finished, it is time to write a new outline that improves upon the organization.
Tie together web publishing, bite-sized, and blended
Though only the second half of the outline changed, the writer now has a direction for his revisions. Reverse
outlining gave the writer a short snapshot of his essay which he then used to make changes in the organization of
his essay: he is one step closer to revising and finishing this assignment.
Notes on Reverse Outlines
When you are knee-deep in the drafting process and cannot see the forest, the trees, or any other part of your
project, give the reverse outline a try. It is probably the best way to get a handle on your draft and think through
the organization.
Keep in mind: When writing a longer piece—5 pages, 10 pages, 15 pages and beyond—the reverse outline can be
even more helpful.
Revising: Meal Plan
Learner Writing Sample
Original paragraph:
For this type of worker, many traditional methods of training are not feasible. With as many as twenty projects
going on at once, no one has time to take a whole day for training, and even half a day is hard to spare. Some
deadlines are weekly, others are sporadic, and many projects have a hurry-up do-it-now high-stress vibe, only to
get squashed at the last possible moment, leaving workers
Revised paragraph:
For this type of worker, many traditional methods of training are not feasible, due to the number and pace of
projects. Some deadlines are weekly, others are sporadic, and many assignments have a hurry-up do-it-now
high-stress vibe, only to get squashed at the last possible moment, leaving everyone frustrated. In this
environment, no one has time to take a whole day for training, and even half a day is hard to spare. Budgets may
not allow for the use of outside trainers, and supervisors are under the same (or greater) time crunch as
everyone else. Multimedia, Internet-centric training may just burn out employees who are already hip-deep in the
web for the rest of the day. Given these constraints, training should be as flexible and efficient as the employees.
Expert Commentary
For this type of worker, many traditional methods of training are not feasible.
The M—for main idea.
Some deadlines are weekly, others are sporadic, and many assignments have a hurry-up do-it-now high-stress
vibe, only to get squashed at the last possible moment, leaving everyone frustrated.
Some sentences have been rearranged to create a more logical flow of ideas.
Multimedia, Internet-centric training may just burn out employees who are already hip-deep in the web for the
rest of the day.
A few more training options have been mentioned.
Given these constraints, training should be as flexible and efficient as the employees.
This should point the way toward the next paragraph nicely.
Revising: Reading Backwards
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Learner Writing Sample
Original:
In a web publishing company, there are all sorts of employees with distinct jobs and varying levels of technical
skill. Project managers help cybrarians, web designers, web application developers, art directors, image
archivists, production coordinators, editors, photographers, proofreaders, and numerous assistants work together
to create web pages that serve diverse customers. Though a proofreader obviously doesn't require the same
degree or type of technical skill as an application developer, new skills are frequently required over time. That
less-than-savvy proofreader may need more training than the tech-ier employees to learn the same task. Also,
an image archivist will probably be a whiz with image software but possibly a novice with other types of
programs. Then there are tools that everyone needs to use, such as scheduling programs or programs that log
time spend on various projects.
For proofreading:
Then there are tools that everyone needs to use, such as scheduling programs or programs that log time spend on
various projects. Also, an image archivist will probably be a whiz with image software but possibly a novice with
other types of programs. That less-than-savvy proofreader may need more training than the tech-ier employees
to learn the same task. Though a proofreader obviously doesn't require the same degree or type of technical skill
as an application developer, new skills are frequently required over time. Project managers help cybrarians, web
designers, web application developers, art directors, image archivists, production coordinators, editors,
photographers, proofreaders, and numerous assistants work together to create web pages that serve diverse
customers. In a web publishing company, there are all sorts of employees with distinct jobs and varying levels of
technical skill.
Expert Commentary
Notes on Reading Backwards:
Proofreading is difficult, especially after you've been looking at the same essay for weeks. By reversing the order
of the sentences in your paragraphs, it's possible to read them with a fresher eye. Since you won't be able to
follow your argument, you'll have to pay attention to the specific details of each sentence.
For example, look at this sentence: "Also, an image archivist will probably be a whiz with image software but
possibly a novice with other types of programs."
By forgetting about what "also" is transitioning from, it's easier to tune into the sound and form of the sentence
and consider whether "also" really needs a comma after it (which it does). Content is the most important part of
writing, but at this stage, your content should be in good shape already: now it's time to zero in on sentences,
words, and punctuation.
Revising: Reading Backwards
Learner Writing Sample
Bite-size training: The right blend for a web publishing company
NFL coaches are notorious for sleeping in their office and working round the clock, yet many get fired every year,
despite sacrificing their home life, health, and sanity. Yet Bill Cowher—a non-workaholic coach who reportedly
makes time for kids and home life—won the Super Bowl last year (Peters, 2006). You don't have to be a head
coach to know that quantity doesn't always equal quality when it comes to time. In the web publishing business,
there is little time to spare, as the onslaught of projects and deadlines makes even the slowest day a whirlwind.
At the same time, a web company presents persistent training challenges, as employees need to stay current or
risk losing pace with competitors. Bite-sized training—utilized alongside the philosophy of blended training—can be
extremely useful in helping employees at a web company keep pace with technology.
In a web publishing company, there are diverse employees with distinct jobs and varying levels of technical skill.
Project managers help cybrarians, web designers, web application developers, art directors, image archivists,
production coordinators, editors, photographers, proofreaders, and assistants work together to create web pages
that serve diverse customers. Though a proofreader obviously doesn't require the same degree or type of
technical skill as an application developer, new skills are frequently required over time. That less-than-savvy
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proofreader may need more training than his or her tech-focused coworkers to learn the same task, just as an
image archivist may be a whiz with image software but a novice with other types of programs. Then there are
tools that everyone needs to use, such as scheduling software or programs that log time spent on projects.
For this type of worker, many traditional methods of training are not feasible, due to the number and pace of
projects. Some deadlines are weekly, others are sporadic, and many assignments have a hurry-up do-it-now
high-stress vibe, only to get squashed at the last possible moment, leaving everyone frustrated. In this
environment, no one has time to take a whole day for training, and even half a day is hard to spare. Budgets may
not allow for the use of outside trainers, and supervisors are under the same (or greater) time crunch as
everyone else. Multimedia, Internet-centric training may just burn out employees who are already hip-deep in the
web for the rest of the day. Given these constraints, training should be as flexible and efficient as the employees.
This is where bite-sized training comes in: it can exist in many forms, such as "breakfast meetings, lunchtime
learning events or taster sessions designed to see whether there is an appetite among employees for certain
subjects" (Bentley, 2006, para. 14). Bite-sized training—which can take the shape of anything from the hippest
multimedia presentation to the archaic form of a piece of paper—has been used in many different fields, perhaps
most notably in promoting safety at nuclear power plants, where 20-minute electronic modules were used to
facilitate proper handling of radioactive materials (Bentley, 2006). Less dramatically, the Ford Motor Company
has used 15-minute CD-Rom based modules to train employees (Stucky, 1998) and bankers have been trained
using programs that are triggered by a computer's screensaver (Dempsey, 2001). For employees of a web
company, brief training opportunities like the screensaver option could be an ideal way to squeeze in learning
opportunities.
Bite-sized learning certainly has some pitfalls and critics. Obviously, not everything can be taught in a short
amount of time. Also, Jo Hennessy (2006) thinks that the practice adds stress and leaves no time to digest what is
being taught, adding that "time for reflection is greatly under-rated during and after a learning intervention" (p.
20). She goes on to emphasize the need for thoughtful post-training reflection, saying:
I believe it is most beneficial to implement a blended learning intervention, comprising a range of learning techniques over a period of time, both in and out of the workplace. A combined approach will enable the best transfer of learning, so long as space to think is part of this. (p. 20)
Hennessy certainly raises valid concerns about the already dense and stressful work day: for a web publishing
company, these concerns are particularly apt. In fact, there's a paradox here: the stress-filled work day makes
bite-sized training ideal, yet bite-sized training might raise that stress level even more. Perhaps Hennessey's
mention of blended learning points in the direction of a solution. As Donald Clark (2003) has written, blended
learning is not a novel concept, but the arrival of new and diverse types of web-centric learning tools have given
blended learning new life. Clearly, there's no blend that will work for every situation, and in the case of a web
company, it may be that less reliance on the web would provide solid training and much-needed refreshment:
Non-web bite-sized training might be a welcome break for the eyeballs and brains of employees.
For NFL coaches, there's no simple choice between sleeping in your office and living the easy life. Every coach has
a different personality, team, owner, and family to consider. Likewise, each web publishing company will have
unique training needs. Since both bite-sized training and blended training are flexible concepts, supervisors and
trainers who use those concepts would be free to innovate methods that suit their own company the best.
Diverse, blended options for bite-sized training might make the bites easier to swallow—and easier to truly digest
too.
References
Bentley, R. (2006, April). Can a little really beat a lot? Training Magazine, 6.
Retrieved September 24, 2006, from the Business Source Premier database.
Clark, D. (2003). Blended learning.
Retrieved September 26, 2006, from http://www.epic.co.uk/content/resources/white_papers
/Epic_Whtp_blended.pdf.
Dempsey, M. (2001, June 6). Bite-sized training chunks for busy merchant bankers:
Episodes reaches (sic) the trainee with a sequence of training documents over several days. Financial Times, p.
05.
Retrieved September 26, 2006, from the ABI/INFORM Global database.
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Hennessy, J. (2006, February). Bite-size learning—it leaves very little time to think. Training and Coaching Today,
20.
Peters, J. (2006). No sleep till touchdown.
Retrieved September 8, 2006, from http://www.slate.com/id/2149181.
Stuckey, S. (1998, December 4). Take a break for bite-size training. The Engineer, 32.
Retrieved September 26, 2006, from the ABI/INFORM Global database.
Expert Commentary
Bite-size training: The right blend for a web publishing company.
The title is now in synch with the new thesis statement and the essay as a whole.
The essay is now double-spaced and the paragraphs are indented: these are standard features of nearly all the
work you'll turn in.
Bite-sized training—utilized alongside the philosophy of blended training—can be extremely useful in helping
employees at a web company keep pace with technology.
The thesis statement is revised and improved as well. It now incorporates the idea of blended learning, so it's
consistent with the revised essay. It's a specific, arguable assertion, which is exactly what a thesis statement
should be.
Remember, it's fine—and necessary—for you to adjust your thesis statement, outline, and draft as you revise.
The only time they all need to line up perfectly is now, when it's time to hand in your work.
(Bentley, 2006, para. 14)
If your source doesn't have page numbers that will be consistent for all readers, use paragraph numbers.
Perhaps Hennessey's mention of blended learning.
Though the paper was handed in at this point, the discussion of blended learning is still a little inadequate: more
defining of blended learning would have been helpful. It's a fact that no paper you turn in will be perfect: learning
to do the best you can in the time you have is a skill you'll develop. And with each paper you write, you'll learn
more about yourself as a writer and have a better sense of what to pursue and avoid in future projects.
As Donald Clark (2003) has written, blended learning is not a novel concept, but the arrival of new and diverse
types of web-centric learning tools have given blended learning new life.
Previously, this information came in the form of a direct quote, but it's now been paraphrased. Paraphrasing is
usually preferable to quoting: it shows you've digested the material more.
For NFL coaches, there's no simple choice between sleeping in your office and living the easy life.
Echoing your introduction is a very effective way of writing a conclusion, which can be one of the trickiest parts of
an essay to compose. You don't want to simply repeat yourself, and it's not a good idea to introduce much new
material either.
The entire paragraph.
Notice in the APA-formatted references that journals such as Training Magazine do not use a "p." before the page
number—in this case, page 6—but newspapers, such as Financial Times, do use "p." before the page number, in
this case, page 05.
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