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A Topical Approach to
Life-Span Development 6e

John W. Santrock

Chapter Fourteen:

Families, Lifestyles,

and Parenting

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Family Processes

Reciprocal socialization
Individuals affected by five environmental systems
Microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, macrosystem, and chronosystem according to Bronfenbrenner
Microsystem level: reciprocal socialization
Bidirectional: children and parents socialize each other
Family as a social system
Sociocultural and historical changes
Affects family processes

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Figure 14.1 - Direct and Indirect Interactions Between Parents and Children

Marital relationship

Parenting

Child behavior and development

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Family Processes

Reciprocal socialization
Changes in families: Children affected most
High immigration rates of Latinos and Asians in the United States
More stressors (language, identity, relocation, SES)
Older adults have lost socializing role in the family
More urban and suburban dwelling than in rural, on farms
More family mobility across the United States
More exposure to media and technology
More divorces and remarriages; rising dissatisfaction

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Family Processes

Multiple development trajectories
Different trajectories for children and adults – timing of changes
Children: Timing of child care and middle school entry
Adults: Timing of family tasks and changes
Planned such as delayed marriage
Unplanned such as job loss and divorce
Reentry into workforce

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Single adults
Being single
Dramatic increase from 2000 to 2006 (ages 20 to 29)
Single stereotypes
Advantages and disadvantages
When deciding to settle down, changes occur in:
Autonomous decisions on life course, developing personal resources for goals, personal scheduling, pursuit of interests and opportunities, privacy

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Cohabiting adults
Living together, unmarried, in a sexual relationship
United States: from 11% in 1970 to 60% today
More likely in low-income than higher-earning situations
Relationships more equal than those in marriage
Cohabiting tends to be short-lived in United States
Single women at higher risk of abuse than married ones
Higher in countries other than the United States
Advantages and disadvantages of cohabiting

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Figure 14.2 - Increase in Cohabitation
in the United States

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Cohabiting older adults
Increasing number are cohabiting: 4% today
More for companionship than love
Expected to continue increasing
Separate assets best when one needs expensive care
More stable, positive relationship than young cohabitating couples
More depressed than married counterparts
Less likely than young adults to marry their partner

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Married adults
Fulfillment of goals in and out of marriage have changed marriage; created new trends
Changing male-female equality in marriage has created more fragile, intense marital relationships
More adults remain single longer
United States still a marrying society; divorce rates slowing
Social contexts: culture influences marriage
International comparisons in marriage

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

What makes marriages work
Establishing love maps
Nurturing fondness and admiration
Turning toward each other instead of away
Letting your partner influence you
Solving solvable conflicts
Overcoming gridlock
Creating shared meaning

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

What makes marriages work
Coontz on U.S. marriages
More fragile because partners have become more self-centered and career-minded?
Increased equality, loving and intimate relationships, protection of children
Gottman: Important for self-repair process
Deep friendship and mutual respect
Forgiveness and commitment are necessary; includes self-sacrifice

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

What makes marriages work
Premarital education
Improves quality of marriage
May reduce risk of divorce
Linked to higher commitment level to spouse, lower destructive level in marital conflict
Benefits of a good marriage
Longer, healthier lives
Lower levels of depression, anxiety, anger

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Marriage in middle and late adulthood
Middle Adulthood
Most marrieds express considerable satisfaction
Middle Adulthood
Widowhood and adjustment
Adjustments needed at retirement
Happiness affected by each partner’s coping with aging, personal conflicts
More satisfied than younger singles; very happy

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Divorced adults
Rate of 10% in 2002; decreasing since 1980s
Higher rates in disadvantaged groups
If divorce occurs, it usually happens early in marriage
Stress of separation, divorce risks: psychological and physical difficulties
Psychiatric disorders, hospital admission, clinical depression, alcoholism, sleep disorders, chronic health problems

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Dealing with divorce
A chance for personal growth
Make decisions carefully
Focus more on the future than on past
Use your strengths and resources
Don’t expect success, happiness in all you do
You’re never trapped by one pathway
Custodial/non-custodial parental issues

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Figure14.5 - Divorce Rate in Relation
to Number of Years Married

Years married

Percent of divorcees

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Divorced in Middle and Older Adults
Main reason for staying married: Children
Main causes of divorce
For women
Verbal, physical, emotional abuse (23%)
Alcohol or drug abuse (18%), cheating (17%)

For men

No obvious problems, just fell out of love (17%)
Cheating (14%), different values, lifestyles (14%)

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Remarried Adults and adjustment
Average: Remarriage within four years of divorce
Stepfamilies: Many sizes/forms; face unique issues
Custodial/noncustodial parents and stepparents face many challenges, complex problems
Issues faced by biological grandparents of children; children adjustment to step-grandparents
Strategies: Have realistic expectations and develop new positive relationships within family
Avoid repeating past problematic behaviors

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Remarriage and aging
Remarriage rates are up due to longevity and better health
Positive reaction by majority of adult children
Gay and lesbian adults
Usual legal, social barriers to separation often do not exist in same-sex partnerships
Similar in satisfactions and need to find balance as heterosexual couples

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Diversity of Adult Life Styles

Gay and lesbian adults
Lesbian couples place high priority on equality
Compared to heterosexual couples
Satisfactions: loves, joys, conflicts
Needs: romantic love, affection, autonomy, equality
More flexible in gender roles than heterosexuals
Prefer long term, committed relationships
Lesbians usually do not have open relationships
Increasingly creating families with children

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Parenting

Parental Roles
Many plan to be parents; others are startled
Needs and expectations stimulate myths
Timing of parenthood
Advantages of having children early and later
Transition to parenting requires adapting
Choices of how to become parents
Career and role decisions

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Parenting

Parents As Managers
Provide opportunities, monitor, act as social arrangers for children
Teach child to be independent, make competent decisions
Serve as regulators of children
Effective management produces best outcomes
Important in adolescence due to social contexts available

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Parenting

Parenting styles and discipline
No quick-fix approaches work; good parenting takes time and effort
Quality more important than quantity
Baumrind’s parenting styles
Authoritarian — restrictive, punitive
Authoritative — warm, supportive, accountability stressed
Neglectful — uninvolved in child’s life, no controls/norms
Indulgent — highly involved, child sets rules, no controls

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Classification of Parenting Styles

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Parenting

Parenting styles in context
Authoritative parenting linked to competence across wide range of
Ethnic/cultural groups (variation in styles, especially Asians and Latinos)
SES: physical punishment used more by African Americans
Most associated with positive child outcomes in ethnic studies

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Parenting

Punishment and Discipline
Consequences of corporal or harsh punishment
Parent is out-of-control role model
Instills fear, rage, and avoidance in child
Shows/tells child what not to do; not what to do
Punishment can be abusive
Sweden outlawed physical child spanking in 1979
Youth rates of delinquency, alcohol use, rape, and suicide dropped

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Parenting

Coparenting
Cooperation, joint support of parents to raise child
Counseling and therapy benefits for parents
Child maltreatment
Almost 1 million children in 2002 were abused
84% — abusers were parents
Laws in many states require reporting suspected abuse; still many cases go unreported
Maltreatment more diverse than “abuse”

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Parenting

Types of child maltreatment
Physical abuse
Infliction of physical injuries
Child neglect:
Failure to provide basic necessities
Sexual abuse
Fondling of genitals, exploitation, pornography production, physical penetration of body cavities
Emotional abuse
Acts/omissions inflicting mental/psychological injury

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Parenting

Context of abuse
No single factor is total cause
Presence of violence in U.S. culture and its media
Family member interactions
Perpetuating history: parents abused as children
Developmental consequences
Emotional and relational/attachment problems
Personality problems and risk of suicide
Aggressive behaviors and substance use/abuse

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Parenting

Parent-adolescent relationships
Good parenting takes time and effort
Conflict when adolescents push for autonomy; gradual release of control is best
Gender and culture affect seeking and granting autonomy
Parent-child attachment remains important
Secure attachment very important through conflicts

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Parenting

Parent-adolescent conflict issues
Adolescent changes
Biological changes of puberty
Cognitive changes and idealism
Social changes and independence
Emotional/maturational changes
Violated expectations and idealism
Some cultures marked by less conflict

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Parenting

Emerging adult relationships with parents
Relationships with parents improve
Grow closer psychologically
Share more
Some emerging adult decisions may trouble parents
Advantages and disadvantages to living in parents’ home
Parents may set new rules for their own lives
A time to sort out emotional issues: what to take, leave, and create in adulthood

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Parenting

Working parents
Work has positive/negative effects on parenting
Nature of parent’s work is important
Girls of working mothers engage in less gender stereotyping, have more egalitarian views of gender
Effects of mother working in first year on child’s later development is still debated

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Parenting

Children in divorced families
U.S. divorce rate much higher than other countries
Effects of Divorce on Children
More likely to show poorer adjustment
More likely to have academic and behavioral problems
Overall adjustment affected by social maturity, gender, temperament, custody situation, SES
Adjustment improves if
Conflicts reduced by divorce
Parents harmonious and authoritative

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Figure 14.10 - Divorce and Children’s
Emotional Problems

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Parenting

Communicating with Children About Divorce
Explain separation
Separation not child’s fault
May take time to feel better
Keep door open for further discussion
Provide as much continuity as possible
Provide support for children and yourself

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Parenting

Stepfamilies
Divorce and widowhood creates three types of stepfamilies
Stepfather, stepmother, blended or complex
In stepfamilies, children show more adjustment problems
Usually better relationships with custodial parents
More adjustment problems from divorced families
Adolescence is difficult time for adjustment demands

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Parenting

Stepfamilies
Gay male and lesbian parents
More partnerships are creating families with children
Like heterosexual couples, gay/lesbian parenting varies
Adjustment from heterosexual union to gay union
Extensive debate on effects of gay/lesbian families but most researchers find few differences between children growing up in heterosexual families and those growing up in gay/lesbian families (overwhelming majority of children have heterosexual orientation)

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Parenting

Adoptive parents and adopted children
Adoption: legal and social process of creating a parent-child bond between persons unrelated at birth
Increasing diversity exists
U.S. history:
Adopting healthy, white infants; unwanted at birth
Middle or upper class married, infertile couples
Strict screening out by adoption agencies

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Parenting

Adoptive parents and adopted children
Changes occurring
Adopting foreign ethnic/racial children
Adopting “special needs” children
Adopting children once in foster care; abused or neglected
Single, gay, and lesbian adults are adopting
Cannot generalize the average adoptee or adopting parent

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Parenting

Developmental outcomes for adopted and nonadopted children
In general, adopted children
More likely to have psychological and school-related problems; use illicit drugs, engage in delinquency
Show slightly more behavior problems
Have higher use of mental health services
More prosocial, less likely to be withdrawn
No differences in self-esteem

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Other Family Relationships

Siblings and birth order
Difficult to generalize as relationships vary
Persist over entire lifespan; closer in adulthood
Three important characteristics
Emotional quality of relationship
Familiarity and intimacy of relationship
Variation in sibling relationships

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Other Family Relationships

Birth order
Limitations on what can be predicted
Higher expectations for first-born children
First born more adult-oriented, helpful, conforming, anxious, and self-controlled
Only child often achievement-oriented and displays desirable personality
Affected by many factors:
Parenting styles, family relationships/contact, peers, school, socioeconomics, and culture

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Other Family Relationships

Grandparenting and Great Grandparenting
Highly satisfying for most
Easier than parenting; enjoy frequent contact
Grandmothers have more contact
Functions of role varies in families, ethnic groups, and cultures; support, advice, child care
Grandparent roles and styles
Biological continuity and reward
Emotional fulfillment, companionship

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Other Family Relationships

Changing profile of grandparents
Increasing number raising their grandchildren
Divorce, adolescent pregnancies, drug use by parents
In 2005: 6.1 million children
Stress linked to raising grandchildren
Less than 20% of grandparents are 65 years or older
Younger age of grandparents, “special needs” children
Grandparents/great grandparents are living longer
Better educated, better health, still employed

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Other Family Relationships

Grandmothers and Grandfathers
Grandmother
Maintained family ties across generations
Have more contact with grandchildren than grandfather
Grandfathers
Few expectations for role, more voluntary
Little research done on great-grandparenting

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Other Family Relationships

As children age, think more positively of their parents
Mother-daughter conflicts lessen over life course
Family members maintain considerable contact
Parents and young adult children describe their relationship differently; relationship related to nature of earlier relationship

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Other Family Relationships

Intergenerational relationships vary among cultures and ethnic groups
Common conflicts arise
Communication and interaction style
Habits and lifestyle choices
Childrearing practices and values
Affected by earlier family experiences
Affected by gender, education, and age
‘Sandwich generation’ issues

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The End