America's Broken Bridges

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chapter_09_interpersonal_conflict.ppt
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Chapter Nine

Interpersonal Conflict and Communication

Chapter Objectives

Explain what is meant by a rules approach to dyadic communication.

Describe the evolution and principles of transactional analysis.

Discuss how a rules approach and transactional analysis can help individuals become more effective interpersonal communicators.

Use rules approaches and/or transactional analysis to improve communication with difficult people in your organization.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

A Rules Approach

  • Assumes there are rules which guide communication.
  • Unlike the rules of a game, the rules to communication are implicit, not explicit.
  • Rules seem more apparent when they are violated rather than followed.
  • Rules are guided by the context of interaction.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Problems with the Rules Approach

It is impossible to predict all the rules that another might bring to the table.

Too many people are not willing to accept the challenge of predicting the appropriate rules of communication.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Using Rules Approaches

  • Using a rules approach means that one must understand the rules of others and ourselves.
  • We must imagine how the other thinks and what rules they might have and attend to those rules during interaction.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Using Rules Approaches

  • Sometimes we are so accustomed to counterproductive rules that we cannot see them as counterproductive.
  • We need to evaluate our own rules and the impact of those rules towards effective and appropriate communication.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Applying the Rules Approach

  • Think of following the rules as in your best interest.
  • Be aware of your own and other’s behaviors to figure out what the rules are.
  • Understand that rules of interaction are best understood as “If/Then” statements that guide behavior.
  • e.g. If I am meeting with my boss, then I should (make more eye contact? Have more specific word choice? Use less profanity?)

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Transactional Analysis

  • Argues that that all interactions are exchanges between a source and receiver.
  • Analyses of interpersonal interactions is based on assessments of these transactions and the ego states of the people involved.
  • Ego states are classified as Parent, Adult, and Child ego states.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Ego States

  • The Parent ego state is characterized by judgmental, nurturing, and/or admonishing communication behavior.
  • The Adult ego state is characterized by objective and rational behavior.
  • The Child ego state is characterized by the communicative behavior we would expect from children.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Ego States

  • We all exhibit all three ego states at one time or another.
  • When conducting transactional analysis we assess what ego state the source is coming out of and what ego state the source attempts “to hook” or engage.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Example of an Ego State Transaction

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

  • When Mike states, “Brenda, I am soooo overloaded with homework and would really appreciate it if you would fill in for me at work.”

  • Brenda replies, “Sure, I could use the money. What time do you have to be at work?”

Example of an Ego State Transaction

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

  • In the above interaction Mike is coming out of a Child ego state (needy) and is attempting to hook an Adult state (which he does). Brenda’s reply is from an Adult ego state and attempts to hook Mike’s Adult ego state.

Example of an Ego State Transaction

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

  • What ego state would Brenda be in if she answered,
  • “You shouldn’t overload yourself all the time like that!
  • I’ll do it, but I’m not happy about it!”
  • What ego state would she be trying to hook?

Ego States

  • As you can see, the determination of what ego state depends not only on what is said, but also on how it is said.
  • Paralingual (vocal tone), oculesic (eye contact), kinesic (body motion), and proxemic (spatial) factors are all part of the determination.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Types of Transactions

  • Complementary transactions
  • When a person’s attempt to hook a receiver’s specific ego state is successful, and the receiver “completes” the transaction by attempting to hook the source’s original ego state.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Types of Transactions

Example Complementary transaction

(Figure 9.2)

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Types of Transactions

  • Crossed transactions (Figure 9.3)
  • When one person attempts to hook a certain ego state but gets another.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Types of Transactions

  • Ulterior transactions (Figure 9.3)
  • Deceptive or manipulative transitions that hook ego states indirectly.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Communication Modes

  • Rituals or phatic communication
  • Characterized by small-talk exchanges.
  • Are intended to acknowledge another’s existence more than anything else.
  • Pastimes are nonsubstantive transactions that are used to pass the time.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Communication Modes

  • Withdrawal is a communication mode in which a person attempts to avoid interpersonal transactions.

  • Games refer to a communication mode that is typified by ulterior transactions.
  • The goal is manipulation.
  • Communication is deceptive.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Communication Modes

  • Ingenuous Communication is open, honest, and substantive communication.
  • It may or may not facilitate effective communication.
  • Some people are put off by ingenuous communication because it is so unusual.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

(continued)

Scripts and Scripting

  • We are bombarded with messages growing up.

  • We take ownership of the philosophies of these messages without questioning them shifting them from our Child to our Adult.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Scripts and Scripting

  • When we express a point of view that we never questioned, we are engaged in scripting.
  • These messages don’t actually reflect our own philosophies, but those of others.
  • Scripts don’t have to be verbal, but can be nonverbal or paralingual as well.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Examples of Scripts

  • John spanks his children because he was spanked growing up, but openly abhors violence on television as bad for society.
  • Heather believes that it is her husband’s job to change the tire if it goes flat.
  • Joe votes a straight Democratic ticket because he has always been a Democrat.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Contracts

  • A contract is a specific technique for improving interpersonal communication with individual others.
  • It involves working through a series of steps to try and improve communication between people.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Seven Steps to Improve Communication

Identify the communication problem in terms of TA terminology.

Specify a strategy to deal with the problem in terms of relevant communication factors.

Practice role playing with a friend

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Seven Steps to Improve Communication

Interact with the person.

Subsequent to the interaction, play your (cerebral) “tapes” of the conversations, and diagram a transactional analysis of the communications.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Seven Steps to Improve Communication

If necessary, go back to step 2 and reevaluate the strategy.

Continue with steps 3-6 until satisfied with changes when communicating with the other person.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

(continued)

Concluding
Transactional Analysis

  • Transactional Analyses take time and using them to improve communication takes effort and commitment.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Concluding
Transactional Analysis

  • Rewards for undertaking the seven steps to improve communication include
  • changing of abrasive communication patterns
  • more effective and appropriate communication
  • increased satisfaction in interpersonal relationships.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Central Concepts

  • Interpersonal Communication is the most prevalent communication context in organizations.

  • That is, people spend more time communicating interpersonally than communicating in meetings or making presentations.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

Central Concepts

  • Poor interpersonal communication can result in bruised employee relationships that can affect the organization’s bottom line.

  • Techniques can be employed to improve the chances for effective interpersonal communication in organizations.

Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©