Nonverbal Rules & Norms

Date EXERCISE 3-1

Rules and Norms Sometime during the next day or two, find opportunities to break 2–3 communication rules and norms that we take for granted. You must do this in an ethical way (e.g., don’t use eye contact or touch to threaten a stranger), and without disrupting university business (e.g., don’t run up and down the halls talking loudly during class periods).

Following are some norm-violating exercises you can use to test the ways in which norms are important in everyday life. The people with whom we interact—strangers, friends, and intimate companions—do not expect us to break the norms. When we do, we need a reason; therefore, you must follow up by telling your “victim” your reason for your norm violation. Remember, the assignment is to break NORMS, NOT LAWS!

On Your Own:

• Walk up to a stranger and ask for exact change so you can buy two stamps with which to send in your financial aid forms.

• Ask a stranger in the grocery store to squeeze the tomatoes for you to see if they’re ripe. Tell him or her you’ve never been any good at it.

• Smile and wave at passers-by.

• Ask a stranger for his or her autograph.

• Hug a friend you don’t usually greet with a hug.

• Clip your toenails on a busy staircase or in the TV lounge of the dorm.

• Walk backwards down the International Mall.

With a Classmate:

• Sit down with your books and study together in the middle of a busy sidewalk. Ignore the people who try to walk around you.

• One of you put on a dog collar and let the other lead you around campus. Ask someone to hold the leash for you while you tie your shoes, or go into the Post Office. The person on the leash should talk only if the stranger asks questions.

• Eat a meal together in the Corbett Center using your most disgusting table manners (e.g., eating with your hands, putting your face in your soup bowl, slurping drinks loudly, belching, etc.). Write down a few of your observations and bring them to class for discussion