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1-Diana

My piece of advice for relationship conflict is to be curious and ask questions. For example, if your partner yells at you because you forgot to buy toilet paper while at the grocery, consider the fact that maybe the reason why he/she is behaving this way is that he/she had a really bad day. Then feed your curiosity by asking them questions respectfully about why they are yelling and/or about whether they might be having a rough, stressful day. I have found that turning your partner’s attention away from what made them mad or upset and instead, turning that into curiosity and concern on your part has always had good results in my experience. This piece of advice doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships. I have used this strategy when I was a cashier at Walmart a few years ago when people to be upset for no reason. They immediately changed their demeanor when I, instead of being upset back, asked them questions instead. I think the reason this advice is helpful is that it diverts people’s attention away from the trigger event. In my previous example, if your partner yells at you, don’t focus on how upset or mad you might be with your partner. Instead, use that energy to investigate what might possibly be bothering him/her. As for your partner, he/she will most likely be surprised at your reaction and they will mostly be diverting their energy towards trying to explain why they might be upset.

2-Rebekah

My advice when dealing with conflict is to be respectful of each other. If you respect the other person you will communicate more effectively by listen to what they have to say. You will also more than likely be direct and cooperative in your approach and behavior. When we are direct about what is causing the problem we can try to find a solution in a respectful and positive manner.

I believe this is good advice because it requires us to be high in conversation orientation and low in conformity. When we respect each other we are more willing to listen to what the other person has to say and their individuality.

3-Jessie

My advice for conflict management is self reflection and communication. I think it is the most effective at both preventing conflict and making amends. By actively investigating why the conflict began, how you felt about the situation, and why you felt the way you do, you will be able to more effectively communicate with the person you had the conflict with. Start with questions like "why did this conflict start?", "why do I feel this way?", and "what can I change?". By doing this you will more effectively be able to mitigate the lasting damages cause by conflict and be able to avoid it in the future. This has worked for me because I have found that the root cause for some of my interpersonal conflict has been insecurity. By being able to address these feeling and communicate them to my partner, we have been able to have conversations that either resolve or prevent conflict.