mkt 376 Briefs - Dale Carnegie Brief

`TO: Ms. Barbara Sikora, Administrative Assistant

FROM: D. Joel Whalen, Ph.D., Associate Professor

DATE: January 12, 2010

RE: Request for Space Suit

Your recent purchases of technology on behalf of the department have brought new, important advances in quality and efficiency. Please consider this request for advanced teaching technology: a space suit I can wear during lectures.

It’s cool and I sweat

The rate of perspiration I achieve during a lecture is amazing. Frequently, students stop listening to the content of my lesson, because the Mississippi River of sweat running down my face distracts them. Some of the parts of my body that sweat include:

· Face

· Top of head

· Back

· Feet

· Hands

· Chest and stomach

A spacesuit, as you know, comes with a portable air conditioning unit. The inside remains at a cool, constant temperature. A fan circulates air. A cooling liquid is pumped about the extremities like hands and legs.

Communication with Houston

You know that I have not had an original thought since 1953 and that I’m totally dependent on my partner, Tina M. Ricca, for constant coaching. A space suit’s telecommunications system will allow Tina to send me instructions during the lecture through speakers in the helmet. She will also be able to monitor the lecture and cut off my microphone when I begin to ramble on(a frequent problem.

Teaching tool belt

The space suit I propose to wear during class has been developed by NASA specifically to bring the benefits of space-age technology to sweaty little professors. Anticipating the teachers’ needs, the suit has a built in chalk dispenser in the gloves, and a pointer that extends from the right forefinger. Also, special effects include a laser beam in the helmet that I can flash on students to “call on them” for discussion.

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