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Paraphrase, Structure & Transitions

Leslie Williamson

Walden University

25 June 2017

Paraphrase, Structure & Transitions GWII

The presence of more than on instructor in an online course is critical in ensuring the success of the students. “Having two instructors” (Wilson & Linder VanBerschot, 2014, para. 2) when running an online course is important because the student has access to extras support. One of the main benefits of having more than one instructor is the division of responsibilities. One of the instructors can be grading papers as the other one is engaging students in the weekly discussion and making plans for activities of the following week(Wilson & Linder VanBerschot,2014). The division of tasks enhance efficiency in teaching the class. Comment by Beth L. Schoborg Klinkhammer: Why include this as a quote? Also, where does the paraphrase here end? At the end of the sentence? Does it go all the way through until the next parenthetical citation? Using indicator phrases like “according to the authors…” and using parenthetical citations at the end of paraphrases (instead of the beginning) can help you differentiate between the author’s thoughts and your own analysis Comment by Beth L. Schoborg Klinkhammer: Your main point statement says having two instructors ensures student success, but here you say it enhances instructor efficiency. Which argument are the authors making? Think of the main point statement as a promise—you said you’d prove the authors believed two teachers led to student success. Now you say they believe two teachers leads to instructor efficiency. If instructor efficiency leads to student success, say how. If efficiency isn’t relevant, revise the lead out statement.

Communication is an essential aspect of any online course. One gets the perceptions that is involved in an online course one there is high frequency of interaction, responsiveness, and other forms of non-verbal communication(Wilson & Linder VanBerschot,2014). The tone which taken also determines the sense of involvement in a particular course. One of the most important aspects of an online course is the non-verbal cues as well as the tone. The signals are necessary for different areas. They are essential for group conferencing, simultaneous sessions, and recorded feedback. Comment by Beth L. Schoborg Klinkhammer: Sentence could be clearer—play with a few different ways of phrasing this so that it’s clear what the author’s argument is. Comment by Beth L. Schoborg Klinkhammer: This could be clearer as well because it uses the passive voice. Who is taking what tone, and to what effect? Also, is tone something the authors talk about? I ask because these comments look like a side note coming from you, rather than an analysis of what you’ve identified as the authors’ point in the paraphrase prior to this.

Wilson and Linder VanBerschot (2014)Online classes also need to be tailored for the individual students. Despite the planning and pre-work that done, it is ultimately important, to modify the lessons for individual classroom needs. It is also essential to adjust the class plans to incorporate discussion and papers that will require monitoring and feedback . the presence of more than one instructor helps to fix this issue. The instructors can then be able to assign themselves to different tasks for effect modification. Reference Comment by Beth L. Schoborg Klinkhammer: You’ll want to connect these with a verb (ie. “claims”) so that you have a complete sentence Comment by Beth L. Schoborg Klinkhammer: Clarify who is saying what here. Is everything in this paragraph a paraphrase of the authors’ idea? How much is your analysis, how much is paraphrase? As you revise this, review how to cite paraphrases in text in APA—look at a few examples and try to mimic them. Example: Wilson and Linder VanBerschot claim……(2014. This point is important because___We should also consider ____. The authors also argue….(2014).

Wilson, B.G., & Linder VanBerschot, J. (2014, Spring/Summer). Co-teaching an online action

research class. . Canadian Journal of Learning and Technology, 4(2), 6. Comment by Beth L. Schoborg Klinkhammer: Did you only cite information from page 6?

Retrieved from http://www. cjlt.ca/index.php/cjlt

Leslie,

Very nice revisions here—each paragraph seems like it’s only working on one main idea, so each paragraph is unified. I would advise going through and making clearer distinctions between what’s paraphrased material and what is your analysis. You’ll want to make sure your reader can identify easily who believes what, and you’ll want to make sure you don’t misrepresent the authors by accidentally indicating that they believe something that they don’t actually say. Side note: solid APA in the reference section entry.

Beth