Global Societal Problem, Argument and Solution rough draft

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

Paper Title: Species Extinction

No. of Pages: 5page

Paper Style: APA Paper Type: Other

Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No

Feedback Areas: Topic Development, Organization

Paper Goals: Global Societal Problem, Argument and Solution Reflect: Based on the topic that

you have chosen, you will need to use critical thinking skills to thoroughly

understand how this topic can be a global societal problem and determine some

logical solution(s) to the problem.

Proofing Summary:

Hi Elizabeth,

I’m Rita, your composition tutor I have reviewed your submission and have several

suggestions that will help you revise.

Please see my margin comments along with the following suggestions: Even though you have

done a good job of dealing with the various aspects of the prompt, itt will help to reexamine a

sample paper for the class at this link:

https://bridgepoint.equella.ecollege.com/curriculum/file/aab540bd-81bd-495c-8ff1-f2bdadbbcff4/1/Sample

Final Paper GEN 499_final.pdf.

1. For this paper, The introduction paragraph should end with a thesis

statement that includes your proposed solution to the societal problem. Also,

include the positive ethical outcome of the solution. Consider following this format

for your thesis:

(Your issue) should/should not ____. Instead, we should (insert your

solutions to the problem). These solutions create (insert the positive and

negative ethical implications)Introduction and Thesis:

2. Be sure to create fully-developed body paragraphs. Each body paragraph must

include a topic sentence, in your own words, that tells your reader what the focus

of that paragraph will be. Second, it must include several sentences that work to

explain, support, and give examples, including any evidence as well as an

explanation or interpretation of that evidence. Finally, there must be a concluding

sentence, in your own words, that tells your reader how that paragraph relates to

the overall point of the essay. See this link for more details:

https://awc.ashford.edu/essay-dev-good-paragraph.html.

3. Citing sources- You must do an in-text citation any time that you

summarize, paraphrase, or directly quote another person’s words or ideas.

4. Proofing for errors- You have a few punctuation errors in your writing and

some needed minor modifications for the References page and APA format.

Good luck in the course, and I hope we can help you with your next week’s assignment.

page 1 / 11

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

This looks good, Elizabeth. Everything needs to be double spaced for APA.

page 2 / 11

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

For this, the first page of text, you begin with your introduction; however, first, you repeat the title of the

paper and center it. It should be in normal tital capitalizatio.

Everything is double spaced for APA. There are no extra spaces from heading to title or title to text.

No comma is needed.

These comma are not helpful.

evolved?

The introduction paragraph

should end with a thesis statement that

includes your proposed solution to the

societal problem. Also, include the

positive ethical outcome of the solution.

Consider following this format for your

thesis:

(Your issue) should/should not ____.

Instead, we should (insert your

solutions to the problem). These

solutions create (insert the positive and

negative ethical implications).

You are on the right track with all of

this, but need to fine tune it.

Proof for needed commas.

page 3 / 11

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

Proof for unnecessary words.

human

have

Proof for needed commas.

Is there a citation for this?

I like how you have pulled in ethical

issue. Tell us more about Kareiva

and Marvier.

page 4 / 11

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

This is all nicely presented.

Leave out the boxed word for sentence structure.

Proof for subject / verb agreement.

page 5 / 11

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

You have build a convincing

argument. When you conclude

your paragraph, you want to draw

together the information you have

presented to elaborate your main

idea. To do that, you

summarize the points made,

repeat words from the topic

sentence, and use linking words

like therefore, thus, and in

summary to tie the

paragraph back to the thesis.

Do you want to include the title of the article?

page 6 / 11

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

You have a visually effective graphic.

"I", "we", "our" should only be used

rarely in a research document. The

writing needs to be objective and

impersonal and in the third person

unless otherwise stated in the

assignment guidelines.

page 7 / 11

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

As you review your conclusion, ask yourself:

If my readers were to only read my

conclusion, would they comprehend the

message of the paper?

Have I fully summarized my ideas?

Is the importance or relevance of the

issue emphasized?

Have I connected all my main ideas to

the thesis statement?

Proof for subject / verb agreement.

See note on first person.

page 8 / 11

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

This is a really interesting perspective on a solution to this problem. Good job of analysis.

page 9 / 11

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

Everything is double spaced for APA with no

extra spaces from headings to title or

title to citation or between citations Titles of

journals are in italics. See this link if you have

questions on any particular citation:

https://awc.ashford.edu/cd-apa-reference-models.html

References is in 12 point font, centered with no colon. It is in black font.

Location of publisher.

Check title capitalization at the about link.

page 10 / 11

Proofed Paper: ntp232744 - Tue Jun 6 15:28:29 EDT 2017

Location of publisher?

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page 11 / 11